


Exposé

by Omoni



Series: Random Undertale Stories and Drabbles [24]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alphynecentric, Alphys/Undyne-centric (Undertale), Ambush, Angry Undyne is Angry, Assassination Attempt(s), Asthma, F/F, Frisk to the rescue, HUG EVERYONE, Hate Crimes, Homophobia, Hug the fish, Hug the lizard, Hurt/Comfort, Lewff, Near Death, Non-crass use of the word 'cunt', Past Child Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Racism, Revenge with words, Self-Harm, Some political bullshit, Suicidal Thoughts, hospital stays, public shooting, sexual healing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-08-17 08:05:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 35
Words: 60,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16512482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Omoni/pseuds/Omoni
Summary: After almost a year on the surface, the truth about Alphys's research is leaked online, and she is dismayed by the reactions that everyone - especially the humans - that this brings.Not long after, a series of strange "accidents" start happening to Alphys, and by the time they catch on to what is happening and why, it's too late.This is a birthday present for AngleJoyce. I hope you like it!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AngleJoyce](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngleJoyce/gifts).



“No...”

Undyne stirred, her ears twitching, before she opened her eye. She then turned around, following the sound, and found her fiancée already sitting up in bed, hunched over her phone. She held her hand over her mouth, and she started shaking so hard that the phone in her hand did, too. She winced, her eyes filling with tears, before she paled and dropped the phone, covering her face.

Before Undyne could even ask, Alphys instead turned away from her, curled up into a ball, and started to sob, hiding her face in her arms, her claws digging into her scalp. Even her tail curled up around her, and even it shook, too.

Undyne frowned, placing a hand on Alphys's shoulder. When she didn't flinch or push it away, Undyne leaned down and grabbed the phone, before leaning down and wrapping an arm around Alphys.

She turned the phone back on, and saw it was a newspaper website. For a moment, she didn't get it; it was as if her eye was protecting her from what she was about to read.

But it failed, and Undyne read it, at last.

**“FORMER UNDERGROUND ROYAL SCIENTIST FINALLY EXPOSED**

_Yesterday, a team of investigators were called about a strange, deformed monster, and found it walking down the streets of Ebott. It was accompanied by a normal monster by the name of Shyren, and when she was asked, she explained how this mutation – her sister – was actually the result of failed and horrendous experiments done by Doctor Alphys, the former Royal Scientist and current biology professor._

_Shyren did not have any details as to why, but when we asked her sister, one of the victims, she admitted that it was to test the power of human souls, the very same souls that had been stolen from children. I also learnt that there are several others like her, but they mostly live in the Underground, for privacy. It seems obvious that all of them suffered as much as she did, but she did not know how many._

_She also seemed to want to defend the doctor's decision, as those experiments, while dangerous, had still kept her alive, as well as the other monsters that are parts of her, and that counted more.”_

It went on like this, for a great deal of time, and Undyne couldn't stand to read it all, as they called Alphys horrible names, once even stating that she should have been killed by Frisk.

It was heartbreaking, because what Lemon Bread had said was true. All of the Amalgamates _were_ happy, in their own ways, to still be alive, and many found families where none were to be had, before.

And that was why Alphys was so upset: because when they'd made their peace, she had been able to make her own.

But now, all of that progress was gone, and her self-hatred returned in full force.

Undyne curled up around her, setting the phone aside, and wrapped her arms around her. “Hey. Alphy...”

Alphys choked, but nodded, reaching up and grabbing Undyne's hand.

“It's gonna be okay,” Undyne told her, shifting a little so that she could kiss Alphys's cheek. “It's gonna clear up in no time, especially when everyone finds out the truth.”

Alphys sniffled, trying to calm down, trying to take those words to heart, and in some ways, it worked, and they helped. But the rest, the worst, remained untouched by that love, and reminded her to hate herself, once more.

She'd been doing so well, too. It was almost a year to the day when the barrier broke, and by then, she was not only living with Undyne, but was engaged to her, after almost a year of dreamlike bliss. It was hard to hate herself when it was so clear that Undyne loved her, because there had to be some reason for that love to exist.

But now, it was gone.

Now, she could barely breathe. Her tears engulfed her, so much grief pouring out of her so quickly that it hurt. She tried to speak, again, but wheezed, and suddenly, it became very, very hard to breathe.

She reached out, her hand weakly fumbling at the nightstand drawer, but she felt Undyne reach over her and grab what she needed. Alphys held onto her hand, already blacking out.

Undyne held the puffer to her lips and whispered, “On three.”

At three, she breathed in, and felt that pressure start to ease up. She coughed a little, and again, Undyne counted to three, and again, she inhaled.

The second time did the trick, and when Alphys was finally able to breathe, again, she blinked, surprised; in her growing suffocation, Undyne had pulled her into her lap, Alphys's back to her chest, and had her arm around her waist tight.

“S-sorry...” Alphys whispered between breaths, and Undyne capped the puffer and put it on her nightstand.

Undyne shook her head and buried her face into the top of Alphys's head, closing her eye and sighing, so deeply that Alphys felt it. She curled around Alphys, leaning back so they could both lie back down and relax, and they did, still back to front.

Then, Alphys's phone began to chime. A lot.

Alphys flinched, covering her face, again, so Undyne turned the phone to silent.

That had been a bad idea. Because after, they deleted all of the messages without look at them, saving only the good ones. As such, they'd deleted possible evidence that could have avoided what was about to come.

But for now, Undyne only cared about Alphys. She could see how she felt, knew what she was thinking, and wished she could punch the world. She didn't blame Shyren, and could never truly be mad at her, but she was still angry that it had been revealed like this. She, like Alphys, had wanted to be the ones to reveal it, or even Frisk.

Alphys was distraught, already a ball of deep depression, and Undyne held her tight, closing her eye and keeping her close. Alphys didn't run away, either, which was a very good sign.

Undyne hoped that this would be the end of it: just a day or two of hate. She decided that she would spoil Alphys, treat her like a queen, until everything calmed back down, again.

But it had only just begun.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day, all Alphys had to deal with was a slew of hate mail, both online and postal. It became such a problem that she usually ripped up or deleted whatever came into her mailbox, if she didn't recognise the sender.

On the following day, however, something unforeseen happened.

* * *

Alphys came home first, as usual, as her classes were usually scheduled, while Undyne, as a gym teacher, had to work every day, for the same amount of hours, save weekends.

Today was one of those days, and Alphys was already exhausted. She'd had a full morning's worth of hour-long classes, with no breaks, and was beat.

Therefore, it was with very little thought when she reached into the mailbox to grab the mail. There was a lot, as usual, and she upgraded herself from beat to pissed off. She tucked the bundle under her arm, and grabbed her keys from her purse and went up to her apartment. She unlocked the door, grumbling, then threw the keys across the room, and grabbed the mail from under her arm.

Her next memory was strange.

She never, ever found out what it had truly been, or the name of the person who did it. But something in that bundle of letters did _something_ to Alphys, and it had hurt her.

As a result, her next memory, thinking it was right after that moment, was the fact that she wasn't standing, anymore. She could hear, but it was from far away. She could open her eyes, but everything around her were blurs and misshapen shapes of colour that moved.

 _She_ couldn't move. When she realised that, suddenly, her brain woke up completely, and she gasped with shock, overcome with such horrific pain that she choked from it. Her eyes focused, though only in the way they could without her glasses, and finally, she recognised Undyne.

Undyne was holding Alphys, close, but in a way that Alphys could tell was on the floor, even through the growing intensity of pain – and the near delirium that came with it. She heard herself making sounds, pained wails and confused cries, but didn't really know _how_ she made them. The pain was so intense that she had to close her eyes, again.

Alphys found it hard to breathe, too. She heard Undyne talking, her own voice high with fear, and she struggled to understand her, but failed. Now her chest hurt, because she wasn't breathing properly, anymore.

 _I need my puffer,_ she thought, before she couldn't take it anymore, and let her body pass out.

* * *

Undyne frowned, then hesitated, the second the elevator got to her floor.

Already, she could sense it: something very,  _very_  wrong. She went down the hallway, that feeling growing heavier the closer she got, and when she stopped at their door, she knew it came from there. She grabbed the doorknob, and found the door to be unlocked. That wasn't unusual, especially if Alphys came home first, but it  _felt_  unusual.

She went in – and cried out, going right to the floor to Alphys, her eye filling with panicked tears. She knelt down and, very carefully, looked Alphys over, to find out what was wrong. 

Alphys was bleeding, from so many different places, and it looked as if she'd been thrown down by some force. Beside her was a pile of charred paper, and when Undyne saw that, she finally realised what had happened.

She shook Alphys, trying to wake her up, her other hand holding her phone to her ear and already waiting for someone to pick up. She then pulled Alphys into her lap, holding her close and pressing her cheek against Alphys's forehead.

When that happened, Alphys stirred awake. Undyne was in the middle of her explanation, and she dropped her phone into Alphys's lap and touched her cheek, calling for her.

Alphys had opened her eyes, and did seem to recognise her, but when it seemed like she was about to speak, she felt the pain of her injuries, and fainted.

Undyne almost did, too, terrified, before she remembered her phone.

By then, Asgore was driving Toriel over, already, with Frisk in the back seat.

* * *

Undyne was rocking slowly, her hands over her mouth. She was sitting on the bedroom floor, the one she shared with Alphys, her eye wide and constantly refilling with tears. She watched as Toriel held her hands over Alphys, and used her magic to heal her wounds.

Frisk was sitting on the floor at the foot of the bed, their eyes wide and their face pale with worry and fear. They'd insisted on going; it was clearly something they, as the Ambassador, needed to know, in order to act. Plus, Frisk had been waiting for it; after an article like that, there was no way that Alphys would be truly safe, not until things were cleared up.

Asgore sat with her, his arm around her, but she barely felt him. She couldn't stop thinking about how this had happened, especially when it became obvious that it had been a magical attack.

A _monster_ attack.

Toriel could heal, but only wounds made with magic. Undyne had called them both for help, forgetting about the hospital, and was now glad she did.

_Who knows how long we would've had to wait for help, otherwise...?_

Even with Frisk's help, the wait would have not only been agonising,  but also life-threatening.

All Undyne could see was what she'd come home to, an hour after Alphys. Undyne waited, trembling so hard that Asgore held her tighter, thinking she was cold.

Then, Toriel nodded, letting them know that her magic was working, and Asgore relaxed.

Undyne did not; she leapt to her feet, going over and kneeling down at Alphys's bedside, and watched as Toriel's magic seemed to stitch the myriad cuts back together. Frisk was watching, too, so interested that they even climbed up onto the bed and sat at the foot of it, wanting to get as close as possible. 

After a minute or two, Alphys stirred, waking up slowly and feeling warm and comforted, a striking contrast to what she'd passed out from. She inhaled sharply, then opened her eyes, seeing only the light from Toriel's magic. She started, the sight of magic, however the context, was oddly frightening to her. She struggled to get up and move away, that fear erasing any logic from her mind. 

Before Alphys panicked, Undyne grabbed her hand and held it, and immediately, Alphys recognised her touch and calmed down, staying still as Toriel finished.

When she was, Toriel pulled her hands back and leaned down closer to Alphys. She pressed her fingers to Alphys's neck, her eyes on her watch, and Alphys shifted a little, the pressure making her nervous, but Undyne squeezed her hand, and she remained calm.

“Alphys, can you open your eyes, dear?” Toriel asked softly, her hand on Alphys's forehead, now.

Alphys swallowed, then did, her eyes glassy and dim. She began to feel really scared, now, because she didn't remember what had happened, yet, and thus didn't understand why she was being healed.

Toriel looked into Alphys's eyes closely, making Alphys blush a little. She then leaned back and nodded, before she asked Alphys, “What is today's date?”

Alphys said it without hesitation, and this time, Undyne relaxed, closing her eye and kissing the back of Alphys's hand. Her voice had been scratchy and confused, but still a comfort to hear.

“Wh-what happened?” she asked, her voice shaky. “I... I don't remember you coming over... what...?”

Undyne got up, then sat down beside her, and Alphys crawled right into her lap halfway, her arms hugging onto one of Undyne's thighs. She closed her eyes and shivered, feeling cold and scared.

“Alphys, someone send you a cursed letter,” Asgore broke in, his voice gentle. “And it went off when you held it for longer than a minute. You were badly hurt.”

Well, now she at least knew why she was cold; she looked at her sleeves, and saw several blood-rimmed holes within it, and these holes were _everywhere_.

"Do you have any thoughts on who sent it?" Frisk asked, their face sombre. "So that we can find them, and press charges?"

Undyne sighed. "No. We've been getting so much hate mail - both kinds - that it's impossible to narrow it down."

Asgore hesitated, then said, "I think we need to start to take each threat seriously, now. Save every letter you get, however you get it, and send them to either myself, Tori, or Frisk."

Toriel bit her lip, massaging the bridge of her nose slowly, both tired from magic use, as well as how impossible the idea seemed. "It seems unlikely, now, that someone would leave evidence behind like that. - especially since their first attack was successful."

"You think there's more, Mom?" Frisk asked her.

Toriel looked at Asgore, who met her gaze. They both nodded, and Toriel said, "Yes. At least, I think we should prepare for more. Just in case."

Undyne nodded, too. She wanted as much help as possible. She never wanted to see Alphys look like this, ever again. It was reassuring to be able to count on others, and it calmed her down, a bit.

Alphys's eyes were open, and she looked ashamed, now, too. “I'm so sorry,” she murmured, her eyes unfocused. “Oh god, _Undyne_ , _oh god...”_

But Undyne heard that sentence conclude with: _“Thank fuck it was me.”_

Undyne opened her mouth to protest, but both Asgore and Toriel knew that it was time for them to get home, so that she and Alphys could talk it out. After some protest from Frisk, and several hugs, they left. 


	3. Chapter 3

When they were alone, Alphys shifted a little, so that she could curl up more in Undyne’s arms. Undyne looked down at her, her eye going right to her clothes, to the myriad scorch marks and burnt holes and patches of blood.

“Alphy,” Undyne whispered, her voice raspy. “Your clothes... they're ruined...”

It really bothered Undyne, that fact. For a reason she had yet to know, the sight of Alphys's clothes, and the fact that they were beyond repair, seemed strangely personal, and insulting, even.

Alphys nodded. She kept her cheek against Undyne's knee, her eyes closed and her whole body shaking a little. She was so relieved that Undyne was safe, and glad that she, herself, felt much better than before. When compared to that, her clothes didn't really matter to her.

“Hey,” Undyne said, leaning down to look at Alphys's face. “We should change them, okay? So you can be comfy.”

“Mm... d-doesn't matter...” Alphys admitted, not moving even a little.

“Yes, it does,” Undyne answered. “These are clothes that you like, that are useful, but they're ruined, now. They're _ruined_ , in seconds, and while you were alone. We need to repair them, sew them up, so you can wear them again.”

Alphys blinked her eyes open. Despite her exhaustion and urge for sleep, the sound of Undyne's voice kept her in place.

“You don't deserve to have your clothes all fucked up, for no reason, by someone who doesn't even _matter_.”

“Undyne,” Alphys broke in, turning around so that she was on her back, and able to look up at her. “What are you--?”

“You could, right?” Undyne interrupted. “You're good at making outfits; fixing a business-casual outfit can't be as hard as that, right?”

Alphys stared at her, noticing how pale she was, how badly she was shaking, and how she looked seconds away from either exploding – or crying. Alphys wanted neither, but she needed to understand why Undyne was so fixated on this.

“Y-yes,” she finally agreed, nodding. Her hands had been at her own chest, but she reached up and touched Undyne, right over her heart, and felt it pounding, so hard and so fast, that Alphys was worried about her.

“Okay, so we'll do that, right?” Undyne answered, her eye darting between Alphys's, seeing how dark they were, and how weak Alphys was, and feeling anger strike her. “We'll show them. We'll show them they can't fuck with us like this!”

Alphys bit her lip, then slowly pushed herself up, so that she could sit right beside Undyne. Undyne wrapped her arms around her and pulled her closer, and for a moment, Alphys forgot what she'd planned to say, instead surrendering to how wonderful it felt to be held in those arms.

Undyne felt her relax, and closed her eye, swallowing hard. This close, she could smell blood and burnt clothing, and it made her feel even angrier.

“Nobody has _any_ right to do this,” she whispered. “Nobody, _ever_ , no matter what you did.”

Alphys was silent at that. She wasn't so sure. She imagined how she would feel if Undyne had succumbed to DT testing, and realised that, perhaps, they _did_ have the right. Because the very idea of such a thing made Alphys want to hurt something.

 _Oh_ , she thought with dismay, her heart falling. _I_ did _deserve this._

Undyne wasn't a fool; she was watching Alphys, watching her think things over, how her face fell, and how she looked away with shame. It angered Undyne, because Alphys _didn't_ deserve to feel ashamed, especially after this.

She knew Alphys by now. She knew what expressions went with certain thoughts, and recognised this as guilt – and self-hatred. The expression she wore now was of both.

Undyne leaned down, to try and see Alphys's face, but Alphys kept looking away, or hiding in Undyne's shoulder. She shivered, her claws digging into Undyne's back, but Undyne knew she was close to tears, and hated that, too.

“Don't hide from me...?” Undyne begged softly. “I need to see you. Please...?”

Alphys blinked, surprised. She didn't mention clothes, this time. “Wh-why?” she croaked out. “It'll up-upset you...”

“I'm already upset; I wanna look at you, to feel better,” Undyne admitted, blushing a little. Even now, it was sometimes very hard for Undyne to admit weakness.

But Alphys proved her right, and sat up more, pulling her face away to look up at Undyne. Her expression was not one of disgust, or disappointment, like Undyne always expected there to be, whenever she confessed something she felt was weak. Instead, Alphys's expression looked drawn and sad, but now focused on Undyne, instead.

Again, Undyne had to insist: “Please, Alphy, let's get you out of those clothes, so that we can work on fixing them, okay? Please?”

Alphys closed her mouth. She had tried to speak before Undyne, but once Undyne was done, changed her mind. She now understood, and decided to go along with it, at least until Undyne understood, too.

When Alphys nodded, Undyne relaxed a little, her eye wavering. “Yeah. Okay. Good, thank you. Lemme get you something comfy to wear, okay?”

She got up and went to Alphys's dresser, rummaging a bit before she chose what she felt were the best clothes: loose yoga pants and an oversized T-shirt with the words “Word Slayer” on the front.

When she turned around, Alphys was already trying to take off her shirt, and again, Undyne found that frustrating.

 _“Stop!”_ she snapped, startling Alphys into jumping, then going still, her eyes wide and her mouth small.

Undyne bit her lip; she hadn't meant to scare Alphys, but clearly, she had. She hadn't thought of the fact that, since Alphys was still recovering, she was more skittish.

Undyne walked over and placed the clean clothes beside Alphys, then knelt down in front of her and placed her hands on Alphys's knees (even her pants were ruined, Undyne realised). Alphys stared at her, still looking scared, her hands held to her chest, while her tail laid rigid on the bed.

“I'm sorry,” Undyne whispered, lowering her head and resting on Alphys's lap. “I just didn't want you to try, because I was scared it would hurt you...”

When she felt Alphys start to stroke her hair in reply, she closed her eye, seconds from tears. She couldn't help that; even now, Alphys was so kind, so understanding, even when faced with irrationality.

She raised her head, and Alphys smiled a little, the gesture a little shaky, but still genuine. It soothed Undyne, and she knew that was why Alphys did it in the first place. Undyne sat up taller and kissed her, and for a moment, when Alphys returned it, there was only them, and nothing else.

But Undyne pulled away, and said, “Lemme help you.”

Alphys nodded, and Undyne started undressing her, in a way that was completely neutral, though sometimes, her hands lingered a little, tenderly. As Undyne managed to get each layer off, she could see more of the damage that the charm had still left behind, and her stomach tightened.

By the time Alphys was topless, it was clear that the damage had been worse than they'd thought.

There were scars, and a lot of blood left behind. It surprised Alphys, because she hadn't realised she'd bled so much. But Undyne had; she'd seen how much blood remained on the floor once she picked Alphys up.

It was why Undyne was so scared to begin with.

Undyne then pulled Alphys's pants off, noting that at least there wasn't a lot of blood or scarring, there. Alphys shivered a little, naked save her underwear, and she looked like she wanted to sleep.

But the sight of the blood upset Undyne even more. “Alphy... you need to clean that off.”

Alphys sighed, wanting to protest, but in truth, the blood felt itchy and gross, and she was chilled to the bone. She nodded again, and to her joy, Undyne smiled a little, looking so relieved that it was heartbreaking.

“I'll help you,” Undyne promised, taking Alphys's hands into her own and standing up with her. Alphys had been about to protest, but she wobbled and felt sick, and had to lean on Undyne to stay standing.

“Yes, please,” she begged weakly, closing her eyes for a moment to hold back her tears.

Together, arm in arm, they shuffled to the bathroom, neither wanting to let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Undyne has a sense of smell, despite no nose. She uses her gills :3


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly NSFW

It started off rather chastely, with Undyne helping scrub the blood off of Alphys, while she let the hot water pour over her and soothe her aches.

But the more blood Undyne washed away, the more visible her scars became, and by the time Alphys was clean, Undyne was leaning against her, her face buried into the back of Alphys's neck. She held Alphys's shoulders tight, and it was clear that she was trembling.

Alphys, who’d been in a bit of a haze during it all, seemed to wake up when she felt this. When Undyne started to cry, Alphys was completely awake, and worried.

“Undyne...?” she murmured, trying to turn around and hug her.

Undyne, however, stayed firmly where she was, feeling ashamed that she was crying, when it was Alphys who was in pain, and deserved to have her tears dried, not Undyne...

“Undyne,” Alphys repeated, her voice softer. She reached out with her tail, and hugged one of Undyne's legs with it. “T-talk to me...?”

“You could've _died_ ,” Undyne blurted out, not wanting to, but doing so, anyway. “In mere _seconds_ , Alphy.” Her nails bit into Alphys's skin, but Alphys didn't move; she just listened. “I wasn't there... you could've died... alone, all alone... j-just be-because you made a m-mistake...”

Undyne's voice trailed off, her face burying back into Alphys's neck, her eye shut tight and her teeth gritted and bared. She was crying, her tears hotter than the shower water.

“The thing is,” Alphys said suddenly, surprising herself. “They... I get them. I get why they're so an-angry. And...” Her head lowered, just as her shoulders went up, and she held her hands to her chest, wishing she could disappear. “I... I’m gl-glad you weren't h-home...”

“No,” Undyne snapped. She grabbed Alphys's shoulders and spun her around, then held them, again. Alphys stared up at her, still hunched over, but her eyes were wide with confusion.

“Wh--?” Alphys tried.

 _“No!”_ Undyne snapped, shaking Alphys a little.

It made her dizzy, and she paled, her eyes fluttering closed and her body swaying. Undyne immediately felt bad, and hugged her close, to keep her on her feet – and focused on staying awake.

Alphys's hands went up after a moment, and her claws dug into Undyne's back. They shook. She buried her face into Undyne's chest, between her modest breasts, and breathed deeply, trying to steady herself.

Undyne held her, making sure she was under the water the most, forgetting that water didn't have the same healing potency for Alphys as it did for her. Alphys, however, _did_ start to relax, so maybe that was something.

Alphys closed her eyes, returning to that moment of soft half-sleep, until Undyne repeated it: “No.”

Alphys raised her head, and while Undyne's expression had eased, the fire in her eye had not.

“You _don't_ deserve this, Alphy,” Undyne continued, reaching up and touching her cheek, instead. Alphys looked away, so Undyne touched her other cheek, and she had to look back up, again. “You _don't_. You _tried_. You failed, but you still gave them life.”

Alphys looked down, her eyes filling with tears. She shook her head, unable to agree with that at all. But when she looked back up, and saw how desperate Undyne was, how hurt she was, she changed her mind.

Alphys felt like she deserved it, but Undyne disagreed. So, this time, she let it go, and for Undyne, alone.

“Yeah,” she croaked out, her voice tiny but echoing around them. “I-I guess so…”

“I _know_ so,” Undyne replied, and Alphys met her gaze, seeing the fire back in her eye, and it made her smile.

“I trust you,” Alphys decided, moving her arms up and around Undyne, next, pulling her closer to the stream of water.

Undyne closed her eye the second it hit her, and she shivered, pulling Alphys closer and making a soft, urgent sound, one that also had her press against Alphys against the wall a little. Alphys blinked, unsure of whether or not she was reading Undyne's signals correctly, but when she looked up, Undyne made it clear.

She kissed her, making another soft, urgent grunt against Alphys's lips, one that was accompanied by Undyne's hands sliding down Alphys's sides, making her close her eyes and shiver in delight. When Undyne felt that, her blood was like liquid fire, and the sound she made next was a long, desperate plea of Alphys's nickname.

_“Alphy...!”_

For decades, Alphys had never known such pleasures like these, forced to be alone and celibate (well, save doing herself), but Undyne had showed them to her, one by one, and taught her the language; one Undyne was also still learning.

The fact that Undyne wanted Alphys at all, let alone this intimately, always amazed her. She wondered if there would ever be a time that she would not.

This was the reverie she had fallen into, when Undyne said her nickname and kissed her, again. She'd been kissing back, still holding onto her, but what brought her completely back was Undyne, grabbing hold of her and pushing her up against the wall, the one opposite the showerhead. It woke her up, because it turned her on, and when she gasped out and smiled, Undyne's eye wavered, and she pressed herself right against Alphys, so that the water only hit her – and so that there would be absolutely no space between them.

 _“Undyne...!"_  Alphys whispered.

Undyne's ears twitched a little, Alphys's voice tiny but thick with need, and she pulled away to bury her face into Alphys's neck. Her hands then grabbed Alphys's legs to wrap around her waist. Alphys surprised her, and tightened her hold around Undyne's waist, her hands scrabbling a little from how slippery the water made them, trying to grab hold of Undyne's shoulders.

But Undyne didn't want to do this, here. Not this time. Not after what happened. It was nice, and Alphys looked so much better, now that she was clean, but the desire in Alphys's eyes made Undyne desperate to live up to it. She never once made the connection that it was she, alone, and not what she did, that made Alphys desire her.

“Undyne...” Alphys whispered, her arms finally around Undyne's neck, and even her tail slipped out and curved around one of Undyne's shins. “Undyne... I… C-can we...?”

Undyne was nodding the second Alphys began to speak, but when Alphys's hand moved between them, Undyne stopped her.

“Not here,” she whispered, her eye flicking between Alphys's. “I don't wanna _fuck_. I wanna... I… I wanna _make love_ with you..."

Alphys smiled at her, the moment she understood, and nodded. Undyne stared at her, speechless, that look so gorgeous to her that she couldn't even move, until Alphys kissed her left eye, very carefully, one that was uncovered for the shower.

“Bed,” Undyne choked out, grabbing hold of Alphys differently, so that she was cradled in her arms, instead of latched to her front.

Alphys blushed, about to protest, but Undyne turned the water off and jumped out, forgetting to even bring a towel, before she rushed them both to where she wanted – needed – to go: their bed.

She didn't realise how much Alphys had needed it, too.

Not until they were spent.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW

One would think, after the evening they'd had, that both would be too tired to even _think_ about this. And perhaps if they'd started clothed, they would be.

But they started naked - and still soaked from the shower, forcing Undyne to tie her hair back, because it kept thwacking both her and Alphys, anytime she moved her head quickly. And yet despite this, too, and the chilly air, once they were both buried under their duvet and holding each other, their kisses kept them warm, and awake.

They'd been making out for most of it, at first, eager to warm up, but it soon deepened, and by then, Undyne had Alphys pinned beneath her – or perhaps Alphys had Undyne trapped between her legs – and it started getting serious.

Undyne pulled herself from Alphys's lips, something Alphys protested – until Undyne leaned down and buried her face into the crook of Alphys's neck. Alphys purred, clinging to Undyne tighter, and that made Undyne grin, and start to bite a little.

Alphys squirmed, unable to keep a small giggle within herself. Undyne’s heart raced, her eye closing briefly, that soft, little laugh making her smile, too. When she felt Alphys's hands go to her sides - then over her gills - Undyne grinned and shuddered, biting again, and a little harder. That brought another giggle (or four), and it made Undyne want to laugh, herself.

Alphys felt so _loved_ , especially when Undyne's hand – the one not propping her up – slid down Alphys's side, again, her fingertips lingering over Alphys's breast, before skirting lower. Alphys squirmed again, shivering – and again, she giggled, because Undyne had gone to the other side of her neck and nibbled there, too. Her fingers stilled, but Undyne didn't mind - not after hearing _that_ sound.

Undyne always, _somehow_ , made Alphys forget herself. She couldn't feel self conscious for very long around her, even when they'd been mere friends, because Undyne had a way of making her feel... _pretty_.

And like this, right now, Undyne made her feel _sexy,_ and desirable, too, and she could forget her obvious flaws. She was able to try to see herself as Undyne did, very briefly, but it helped, and became easier each time.

Undyne could, too, because she either didn't notice those flaws, or she did, and simply didn't care; it varied by situation. To her, Alphys _was_ pretty, _and_ sexy, and so much more. As for herself, while she'd always been confident she looked - at least - pretty cool if scary, Alphys forced her to see beyond all of that, and see her true beauty - the way Alphys saw Undyne. 

And when Undyne's fingertips traced several of the new scars upon her beloved's body, Undyne was reminded why she was so desperate: to not only take _her_ mind off of the attack, but Alphys's, too.

There was only one way to do this, completely, and Undyne knew how to do it well. Alphys had a busy mind, an affliction Undyne knew she was suffering from, even now. In her year's experience, she knew that Alphys needed to lose herself, within herself, as well as within Undyne. 

And only one thing did that (though Undyne was always looking for others). This one thing forced Alphys to accept that she did _not_ look like she thought - including while they were intimate.

Perhaps _especially_ when they were intimate... 

Alphys bit her lip when she felt Undyne pull away, about to cry out in protest, but when their eyes met, Undyne's sparked, and she grinned, her slow, sly grin. She moved down, trying to slip out of Alphys's grasp, but Alphys misunderstood, and instead tightened her hold, shaking her head.

She didn't want Undyne to let go of her.

“Please,” Alphys begged. “ _Please_...?”

Undyne grinned wider. “Trust me.”

Alphys of course did; she parted her legs a little, so that Undyne could sit up. Alphys shivered, her skin cold from where Undyne pulled away, and she restrained herself from pulling Undyne back - _barely_. 

Undyne threw the duvet over herself, moved down onto her front, and parted Alphys's legs, more, already craving _that_ unique flavour...

Alphys, however, squeaked, both from the duvet – it completely covered Undyne, but reached Alphys's chin – and because she understood Undyne's intentions.

But when Undyne paused, just in case Alphys wanted to say no, Alphys relaxed, including her legs, and her tail hooked around Undyne's upper arm, squeezing gently.

Undyne understood completely, and she lowered herself down onto her front, propped up on her elbows, and moved closer. She licked her lips, already anticipating, and for a moment, she actually did nothing, save simply looking. If she had a tail, she knew it would be a blur.

Alphys started to blush, her eyes going wide and her hands going to her chest, when she realised what Undyne was doing – and was  _not_ doing.

“Wh... What _are_ you doing...?” she whispered, her voice wavering.

“Admiring you," was Undyne's happy reply.

Alphys's eyes flared, and she pulled the duvet up, so that she could look at Undyne; she suspected that she was being teased.

But Undyne really was just lying there, smiling, her eye going over Alphys's cunt slowly.

Alphys didn't get it. She knew what she looked like: she was hairless, and was also a _very_ curious monster, especially when it came to her own body, and its sexuality. She knew what her cunt looked like. She knew it _wasn't_ pretty, let alone good enough to just look at and admire.

But Undyne stared at her, with a dopey smile, anyway, as if _she_ didn't notice.

Undyne _did_ notice Alphys's scepticism, but wanted to make a point, too. She really _did_ love Alphys's cunt, and found it... not _pretty_ , no, but... _alluring_.

_Tantalising. Yes. That's the perfect word..._

She loved how unique such an intimate place could look, loved how her own was different, and in so many ways, and the lack of hair was always a surprise, but one Undyne _liked_...

It was just so much fun to Undyne, _all_ of it.

All of _Alphys_. 

Undyne knew Alphys was self conscious, always muttering about getting surgery, there, when she had the time and money, but Undyne would never let her do it, even if she could. It was true that the folds were uneven, and that the inner lips were longer than the outer, and that was why Alphys wanted surgery: to even them out.

Undyne _never_ wanted that. She loved how Alphys looked, and _nothing_ would ever change that (a point she made _very_ clear one month, something that _still_ made Alphys flush red when she remembered it).

Undyne set out to not only remind Alphys that she loved her, but to remind her _why_ she loved her. Perhaps she would quit, once when Alphys finally accepted it... but likely not.

Because to Undyne, Alphys's cunt was like Alphys, herself: unconventional, a little lopsided, but beautiful for that difference, that uniqueness. Alphys often wished she could be invisible, but Undyne wanted _everyone_ to look at Alphys, and see the beauty in her differences, like Undyne did.

So now, Undyne grinned, already a little shaky from excitement, and moved closer, before she dipped her head down and slid the tip of her tongue right between those folds.

Alphys hissed out the breath she'd been holding, feeling the blood rush to her face – and between her legs – the second she felt that tongue. She couldn't explain the gamut of feelings that coursed through her whenever this happened, and in a rare moment of abandon, decided not to even bother trying. Instead, she swallowed hard, lying back and closing her eyes, wanting to just _enjoy_ it.

Undyne shivered the second she registered the taste, and with it, she knew she couldn't stop there. She moved closer, her hands going up and holding onto Alphys's knees, before she bent down and licked, again – before she dove her head down, closed her mouth over as much as she could, and sucked down, that taste flooding her senses so sweetly that, alongside Alphys, she moaned with pleasure.

Alphys felt that, and several thoughts ran through her mind:

 _So_ that's _why they call it carpet-munching..._

_More would be nice. More, please. Again. More..._

_Oh god, that feels amazing, how is she doing that without biting me...?!_

_More, more, more, more, please, more..._

_It won't feel like this with surgery, shit, I forgot..._

_More more more more..._

_Maybe surgery's not worth it...? She doesn't seem to care..._

_Moremoremoremoremore...._

Undyne slowly pulled away, making sure her lips and tongue lingered, before she slid her tongue between those folds, and deeper within, before withdrawing and swirling the tip of her tongue over Alphys's clit. And while it was true that Alphys had the longest tongue, it didn't mean that Undyne didn't know how to use her own to the fullest.

She looked up, not pausing in her slow, evenly-placed licks and dips, and suddenly felt her whole body go hot.

Alphys was now sitting up on her elbows, something she'd never done, before. She was crying out, a great deal, her breaths catching and her whole body trembling with growing need.

The expression on her face, however, was one of pure bliss.

Every time Alphys tried to speak, she simply moaned or squeaked, depending on the intensity. Words failed her, because words were unable to explain how good she felt. They didn't exist, yet.

Undyne raised an eyebrow, noting that the best results came when she focused on her clit, so she did, by repeating the same gesture she'd begun with, only this time, with Alphys's clit.

Alphys yelped out, _“Undyne, holy fuck!”_

She gasped, slumping back down onto the bed, her arms too weak and shaky to hold her up, now. But she kept holding Undyne's arm with her tail, and soon, Alphys reached down and buried her hand into Undyne's wet hair, her other hand touching one of her own breasts. Her whole body moved in time with Undyne's tongue, so Undyne didn't stop.

Alphys gritted her teeth, her eyes shut tight and her whole body slick with sweat, losing her hold the longer Undyne went down on her – and especially when she sucked down on her clit every once and a while, too. Her hands twitched, then reached down and dug her claws into the bed, unwilling to risk hurting Undyne if she held too hard.

 _“Undyne...!”_ Alphys moaned out, her voice high-pitched and choked with increasing pleasure. Undyne squeezed Alphys's knees with her hands, understanding _exactly_ what that meant. She slowed down, but kept each lick hard and lingering, the way she knew Alphys loved the most.

A fact proven when Alphys cried out, her voice breaking, and she arched her back, her claws digging into the mattress, finally feeling that intense pleasure throughout her entire body, as if it ran though her blood. She grinned between each cry, especially when Undyne moved to draw it out, and her eyes filled with tears – relieved, overjoyed tears.

Alphys then relaxed, panting for breath and trembling, her face and chest red, her hands going up to brush her tears away. 

When Undyne pulled away and sat up, Alphys did, too, reaching out and grabbing her face. Undyne's eye widened when she saw both the grin and the tears, but when Alphys kissed her, then pulled her down atop herself, Undyne understood, and agreed. With a growl, Undyne kissed back, and made the needed adjustments, both of them sharing a laugh of delight.

They made love, then, savouring each moment and drawing out each pleasure. Even when they both felt spent, they would look at each other, and start all over again.

And with each caress, their bruised hearts healed, and they became even stronger, together.

Unfortunately, it wasn't strong enough.

Not yet.


	6. Chapter 6

After, they were calm, and wrapped in blankets, shivering a little from the cold air hitting their damp skin (though most of that dampness now came from their love-making).

But Undyne refused to let Alphys go. She had to hold onto her, somehow, in any way she possibly could; a hand on her shoulder, a leg hooked over her hip, her face buried into Alphys's chest...

It didn't matter _what_ she touched, so long as it belonged to Alphys.

It was then that Alphys finally understood what Undyne meant, when she'd kept saying “No”. It wasn't just her correcting what Alphys felt she deserved, though that was part of it. Rather, it was for a deeper reason, one Undyne would never be able to voice, despite its importance.

Until Alphys did it for her.

“I scared you,” she murmured, startling Undyne. “You... you were really scared...”

Her face fell, her mind reversing their roles, and noting how horrible she would feel, had she found Undyne the way Undyne had found her.

Undyne bit her lip, swallowing hard, but she nodded, her eye wavering a little. Alphys was about to add something, she knew, but she wasn't done. She needed to get it out, now.

“Alphy, I came home...” she whispered, burying her face into Alphys's chest, her eye shut tight. “I came home, and found you... and...” Her voice broke, so the rest of the words came out thick and broken, too. “And there was blood... There was _so much_ blood, the first thing I saw, was that blood.... And-and then you...”

Undyne made a sound, then, one she knew she'd made when she came home, and truly understood what she had come home to. “You were... you were just... just _lying_ there!” she sobbed, her eye going unfocused as her mind went over it again. “Just lying there, _bleeding_ , not even awake, but there was too much blood for it to be sleep...”

Alphys felt her eyes fill with tears, and she buried her face into Undyne's hair, shivering. “I'm sorry...” she began, but Undyne shook her head, her fingers digging into Alphys's back.

“I'm not done!” Undyne interrupted. “You _weren't_ sleeping, and when I shook you, you didn't wake up, and my hand... my hand was bloody... and... I _had_ to hold you, Alphy! I was... I was... _I was so sure you were about to die!!”_

And it was then that the last wall came down, and Undyne _wailed_ , the reality of that striking her so hard that she broke. She couldn't speak, anymore, couldn't even move, save what she needed to cling to Alphys, to hold her, knowing that, at least _this_ time, she knew Alphys wouldn't crumble to dust in her arms.

Alphys held her, stroking her hair and rocking her slowly, whispering to her reassurances, sweet ideas, soft promises...

Undyne heard them all, and kept them close. She held them to her, so that her heart could finally find the bandages it needed.

All through the night.

But tomorrow would bring true sorrow.

* * *

They always walked to work, together.

Since the school opened, and since they were hired, Alphys and Undyne would always walk together, either meeting from different routes, or coming from the same one. Nothing kept their hands apart, and no one could ever slip between them.

But today, Undyne was tense; she hadn't wanted Alphys to come to work at all, least of all in such a public way.

Alphys looked up at her, then said, “Hey, Undyne...”

Undyne relaxed a little, squeezing her hand. “Yeah?”

“It's going to be okay; you know that, right?” Alphys wondered, peering up at her, wishing she was taller.

Undyne _didn't_ know that. She didn't feel like that. So she shrugged, keeping her eye ahead of her.

“Frisk's right,” she continued. “This is a good plan. It's pretty ob-obvious that people will be at _least_ sp-spying on us...”

She swallowed hard, her other hand tightening on her shoulder bag's strap; her eyes had gone to the side of Undyne for a moment, and when they returned, they were a touch darker.

“So if we sh-show them we aren't afraid, they'll back off," she finished, her voice growing stronger.

Undyne nodded; she was acknowledging that this _was_ Frisk's plan, and it did have some truth to it. In fact, it was pretty much the same advice Undyne, herself, would've given out.

 _But it's different, when it's you, or someone you love,_ Undyne wanted to protest. _We're the ones who suffer if we fail..._

Alphys bit her lip, realising that, in Undyne's silence, she was being heard, but not agreed with. She looked to the side, again, then ahead, going quiet – but not without squeezing Undyne's hand tight, her palm hot and sweaty.

When Undyne squeezed back, again, Alphys felt better. She relaxed, and decided to change topics, despite feeling her heart start to speed up.

“Undyne,” she said, smiling a little, “you know what today is, right?”

Undyne blinked, thrown for a moment, before she understood, and remembered, and she groaned, dragging her feet and slapping her hand to her forehead.

“Dammit, not practical exams!” she whined.

Alphys giggled, a sound that, despite herself, had Undyne smiling.

“We _all_ have to do it,” Alphys told her. “Even I have to stand back and watch my students...”

Undyne chuckled suddenly, surprising them both, but in a good way. “Oh, yeah,” she agreed. “I remember the last time; Frisk told me you kept having to step back, or shove your hands into your pockets...”

Alphys reddened, and Undyne laughed again, making her smile shyly.

“It's not my fault,” Alphys sulked. “I just... w-want to protect them!”

“You wanna do it _for_ them,” Undyne corrected. “How are they gonna learn from that, nerd? _You_ are the one teaching them; trust yourself. You taught them well.”

Alphys was quiet, thinking this over. It was true, and it was good advice. “It's not that I don't trust myself!” she protested.

“Yes, it is. Because you don't trust how well you taught them.”

Alphys tried to protest, but simply squeaked, then went quiet, again. It was true; Alphys still wasn't sure if she was a good teacher.

But she was, and Undyne knew it. Hell, even _Toriel_ knew it, despite, at first, having trepidation over hiring Alphys, certain she would be too meek and nervous to teach very well.

Not so. Apparently, all she'd been waiting for was an audience, as when, during her first lesson, she realised that, no matter what she said, she would be listened to, could say _anything_...

And she had a _lot_ to say, too.

It had been building up her confidence, making herself proud of her own bravery. She _had_ to accept it as bravery, because she knew, best of all, just how hard it was to do, and every day, too. Once she had, she began to almost look forward to the challenge, to see how brave she could be each day - and would even compete with herself, to improve...

But with the news last night, that confidence had diminished, and Undyne was worried that Alphys would never get it back.

Alphys sighed, then surprised Undyne: she nodded, and said, “I know... I _do_ know... It's just... so hard to remem-remember." Her expression darkened, her heart beating so fast, she felt almost sick. "Especially _now."_

Undyne stopped her, then, walking in front of her and cutting her off, so that she could lean down and hold onto her, Undyne's hands holding her shoulders, tight.

Alphys kept her head down for a moment, then slowly looked up, looking worried, now. Her eyes kept flicking behind Undyne, but so subtly that Undyne didn't notice, assuming it to be anxiety.

“Alphy,” Undyne said, her voice soft – but firm. Her eye flicked between Alphys's, and she could see a small, hopeful light, there, one that always appeared whenever their eyes met. Seeing it, now, made her forget her words, and instead, she leaned down, and hugged Alphys tight.

She didn't realise that Alphys's face had changed, a split-second before they were hugging, nor did she realise that it was Alphys, and not Undyne, who'd begun the hug.

It was only when Undyne felt Alphys's claws bite into her back, then felt Alphys actually _trip_ her with her tail, thwacking the back of her knees with it to make them buckle, then stumble. Alphys used that momentum to turn Undyne around, before she used her tail to sweep her off of her feet.

When she hit the ground, it was then that Undyne came back to herself, the impact of her ass landing on the ground hard enough to force her to focus. 

But even as she was barely registering all of _that_ , she heard it: something that sounded like a whip cracking against sheer marble, twice.

When Undyne managed to look up, to get back to her feet, Alphys suddenly collided into her, bringing them both to the ground, with Undyne on her back, and Alphys sprawled on top of her - and went still.

Then, _finally_ , Undyne understood what had just happened, once she was finally able to put a name to that sound.

Gunshots.

Two of them.


	7. Chapter 7

“Alphy...?” Undyne hissed out, feeling her back ache, but shoving it aside with adrenaline. She looked down, and her whole body went cold. _“Alphy?!”_

Alphys didn't move, her arms still around Undyne's neck. She was breathing, but it was laboured, each breath a gasp, each gasp jolting her body. But she, herself, didn't move.

She _couldn't_ move. Even when Undyne quickly sat up and laid her down onto the ground, she still couldn't move. She heard Undyne calling for her, but it was muffled, like she was underwater, or wearing earplugs.

Then, the pain hit.

Before, Alphys had been encased in a kind of barrier, her brain too confused to register what she was feeling. But when Undyne moved her, she certainly felt that – because it was _agony_.

Undyne was just about to call for her, again, when Alphys suddenly screamed, a pain-filled, but mercifully short sound, her hands reaching up without control, trying to claw whatever it was that was hurting her out.

And it was then that Undyne finally forced herself to _see_ what she was looking at, her mind no longer able to protect her from what it knew was painful.

Because now, she could clearly see that Alphys _was_ shot, and in the right side - twice.

Both of the bullets had found her.

Before Undyne even knew they were coming, too.

Alphys choked, her voice falling to one of excruciating pain, high-pitched and raspy – but also wet, like she was congested from the flu, or a cold...

When Alphys tried to spit out what she thought was phlegm, Undyne saw it was her worst fear: _blood_.

“No... _no!”_ Undyne shouted, shaking her head, her eye searching for her bag. She found that Alphys's bag was closest, and she pulled it to her. At the same time, she pressed her other hand over Alphys's stomach wounds; both were close together. Alphys cried out weakly, in protest, but it was brief.

Undyne frantically searched the bag, her eye wide and almost blind with panic, before she found Alphys's phone, and called the emergency line, her eye going back to Alphys's face as the line rang.

Alphys had no idea what was going on, anymore. She'd been hurt too badly, lost too much blood, by now, that her mind was shutting her body off, to spare her as much pain as possible, before she...

Even _that_ thought escaped her.

She kept her eyes closed, her hands soon dropping to her sides, but not on purpose.

She knew Undyne was there, because she knew _Undyne_.

She wanted to touch Undyne, but her hands were too heavy.

She tried to call for Undyne, but all she did was choke.

 _But Undyne is safe,_ Alphys told herself, her mind slowly shutting down more of her body, leaving itself for last.

_She's safe._

_Undyne's safe._

_Undyne is..._

_Undyne..._

It was only then, once she was positive that this was true, and Undyne _was_ as safe as possible, that she allowed her mind to shut off.

By then, she could only remember Undyne's name, and that she was safe.

Alphys surrendered, then, broken and bleeding, falling into that painless void...

Her last thought one of happiness: that Undyne would live.

Even if Alphys did not.

After that, her mind went silent. Everything went dark, and her body began to fall down.

Undyne had long since dropped the phone, her hands going back to the wounds, to press down on them, to use her hands as pressure bandages, to stop the bleeding...

She stared into Alphys's face, her breaths shaky and uneven, focusing on her, so that her mind knew that she was still alive.

_Alphy is alive..._

_Alphy is still alive..._

_As long as I can touch her, as long as I can see that face..._

One that was pale, now, with closed, sunken-in eyes, her entire body limp. She breathed, but the longer they waited, the weaker it became. The bleeding didn't stop, and when Undyne held her breath, she barely heard Alphys breathing...

Undyne started to go into shock, the second she realised that Alphys was unconscious - and about to die.

By the time the ambulance had arrived, Undyne was in full-blown shock, her body like a statue, her hands soaked in her fiancée’s blood, her eye wide and blank – and full, always full, constantly refilling...

When the paramedics tried to talk to her, she shook her head, keeping her eye on Alphys's greying face, caring only for her, that she breathed, that she _kept_ breathing...

“Captain!”

That one, she heard, and she jolted, her eye flickering a little, before she shook her head again, and went back into shock.

Alphys's blood was slowing down, and it wasn't because of Undyne's hands...

Later, Undyne was told that she'd been sedated, because no one could move her away from Alphys – and they needed her to, if they wanted to save Alphys.

But Undyne remembered it as suddenly feeling very tired, before she realised her vision was dimming. She felt panic, and tried to shake it off, but instead, the movement forced her to fall over, and back into the dirt.

She didn't remember anything after that – not even the impact of her body falling to the ground.

All she knew before then was that Alphys was going to die, and would be, the next time her eye opened.

But she was wrong.

* * *

“….dyne!”

Undyne felt herself being shaken, and she didn't like it. It felt bad, nauseating, and she growled, trying to reach up and stop it.

Her hands, however, were clumsy, and she couldn't feel them, or if she made any contact. But at least the shaking stopped.

“Undyne?”

_Me. That's me._

_Wake up._

Undyne did, her eye opening slowly, her vision barely clear. She was confused, but when she heard her name called, again, she was slowly starting to remember.

“Where...?” she whispered, closing her eye again, trying to squeeze the blurriness out of it. “What...?”

“It's me, Undyne. Do you recognise me?”

 _Frisk_.

The answer came immediately, and she nodded. She turned toward the voice, and when she opened her eye, she could finally make out the shape beside her.

Frisk was sitting in a chair, looking worried, their dark eyes glassy.

When Undyne blinked harder, she felt more of her body wake up, and alongside it, her mind.

And she gasped, bolting upright and scrambling to get to her feet. “Alphy! Frisk, _Alphy_ , she was--?”

But she stumbled, her legs getting tangled up in a blanket, and she landed on a cold, linoleum floor. She blinked, looking back up, and saw that she'd just thrown herself out of a lounge chair.

“Undyne, slow down," Frisk answered, leaning down and holding out a hand to her, one she took gratefully. Clearly, her legs weren't working, yet, and with Frisk's help, she shuffle-hopped back into the chair.

“Alphys is alive, Undyne,” Frisk said suddenly, their face serious.

Undyne stared at them, her whole body awash in relieved tremors, her eyes filling with tears. “She... she is?” she answered - pleaded, really.

“Yeah,” Frisk agreed. “She's in surgery right now, but they were pretty confident that she'll be okay.”

Undyne closed her eye, leaning back and placing a hand over her heart, feeling it race painfully.

It was then that she realised where they were, her ears twitching with every noise, and when she opened her eye, again, she saw dozens of other people in chairs like her own, hooked up to IVs, separated only by curtains. She looked at herself, and found that she was in her own clothes, and she had an IV port, but no IV.

 _My hands are clean._ _They were soaked, but now, they're clean,_ she thought.

It was a weird thought, but in her vulnerable state, it was all she could think about without wanting to scream.

“Undyne, the doc said that if you woke up okay, I could take you to where Alphys will be taken to,” Frisk explained, getting her attention. “Do you want to--?”

“Now,” Undyne interrupted, reaching down and ripping the blanket away, throwing it to the side (and almost hitting another patient in the face with it). This time, when she got to her feet, she wobbled, but she didn't fall.

Frisk smiled when they saw that – as well as when Undyne looked at them rather pointedly.

“Okay,” Frisk agreed. They reached to the side, and picked up two bags: Undyne's, and Alphys's. Undyne took them both in silence, and Frisk was honestly relieved; both bags were heavy.

When they were ready, Frisk held out their hand, and, with warm gratitude, Undyne took it, glad for the help, but also glad for Frisk's discretion. Anyone looking at them would think Undyne was comforting Frisk. But they both knew it was Undyne who needed comfort, most.

Age differences were weird.

Undyne knew that Frisk was at least fifteen years younger than herself (she'd turned twenty-five this year), and yet she often felt herself the most comforted.

A lot of people had found it uncomfortable and worrisome when Frisk emerged from Underground with a team of _adults_ \- all who were, at bare minimum, a decade older than them. That worsened when Frisk admitted that they loved their new friends very much, and that that love was reciprocated.

 _It did look really bad,_ Undyne thought, now. _Like we were manipulating them, or that love was something... gross..._

She made a face; the idea of that not only disgusted her, but _enraged_ her, for anyone ever thinking she would be that depraved, let alone the rest of her friends...

The facts were simply this: Frisk did love them very much, that love was returned, and there was absolutely nothing nefarious about it. Frisk teased about dates, and did flirt, but as _jokes_ , and nothing more. They saw how flustered and confused it made anyone they asked, and found it endlessly amusing, often using it to stop fights. 

Especially when, after each "date", Frisk earned the love of the monster they "dated" - a love that was everything _but_ gross.

Undyne taught Frisk a great deal, true.

But Frisk taught Undyne _more_.

And she would always love them for that...

“This way,” Frisk told her, pointing to the left, and terrifying Undyne out of her reverie, unaware of how deeply she'd been in it. “That's where everyone else is, too," they concluded, and Undyne nodded. 

Undyne paled a little. “Is it...? Is it _that_ bad? Is she...?” Her voice broke, and she shook her head, squeezing Frisk's hand.

But Frisk smiled. “Undyne, they all wanted to be here because they love you both. That's all.”

Undyne covered her mouth and lowered her head, barely muffling a sob, and again, she squeezed Frisk's hand, loving them even more, now.

Together, slowly, they walked and talked, and as they did, Undyne learnt all that had happened – and why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you go by Undyne's birth year (91), and the date the game was released, a year after the true pacifist ending (15) would indeed make her twenty-five. Don't fucking @ me.


	8. Chapter 8

Papyrus was on his feet the moment he caught sight of Undyne and Frisk, and his face lit up. Before either could say a word, he ran over and collided into Undyne, hugging onto her tight. She hugged back tighter, gritting her teeth and trying to keep calm, especially when she felt that he was shaking.

“SHE'S OUT OF SURGERY,” he told her. “BUT WE HAVE TO WAIT FOR HER TO WAKE UP, BEFORE WE CAN SEE HER.”

Undyne pulled away, offended. “They won't let me go in?” she demanded.

“No,” Frisk spoke up. “You're not married, yet, and Alphys has no other family. “

“What a stupid rule,” Toriel sighed, sitting down in one of the waiting-room chairs with her chin in her hand, her eyes on the update monitor, but without really seeing it.

Beside her, Asgore added, “Not even I can see her, and I’m the King!”

Undyne smiled a little, appreciative of his attempt at cheering her up, but it vanished when her eyes fell on Sans, who was sitting beside Asgore, at his other side.

His eyes were empty, and his hood was over his head.

Undyne opened her mouth, about to ask if he was okay, but instead, Frisk led her over to them, and together, they sat down – after a long round of hugs for Undyne.

Except for Sans. He instead kept his head lowered, but touched one of her hands for a moment, long enough for her to understand that he was upset, but not enough to forget her pain, too.

“Sans--,” she tried, but his hand closed over her wrist, his fingers digging in, and he shook his head. She sighed; she'd lived with him – and Papyrus – long enough to understand his body language, and this was a clear “back off for now” sign. So she did, and sat beside Toriel, instead.

Toriel didn't look away from the screen, but she did reach over and pat her knee a few times. Undyne followed her gaze, and saw what she was watching.

On the screen, accompanied with a few other names, was Alphys's full name, followed by “IN-PATIENT POST-OP RECOVERY (NO ADMITTANCE).”

Clearly, even Toriel was eager to see Alphys.

It surprised Undyne, though she knew it shouldn't. They were all a family, now, thanks to Frisk, and it was still early enough in the day (by now, cresting into late afternoon). Only Mettaton was absent, and Undyne knew why, already: he was touring the country.

“Has anyone called the toaster, yet?” Undyne wondered, her own eye glued to the monitor, now.

“I did,” Frisk agreed. “He's on his way. He'll be here by tonight.”

“Thank you,” she murmured.

Frisk, who was sitting beside Sans, now, leaned over and smiled. Undyne noticed, and couldn't hold her own smile back, even if it didn't last.

“Why...?”

Surprisingly, it wasn't Undyne who'd asked, but Sans.

“Why did it happen?” he elaborated. “Why was it _allowed_ to happen? And _how?!”_

Undyne bit her lip, thinking. “Well, that stupid article about DT didn't help,” she muttered. “We got a charmed letter bomb, yesterday, and it...”

She trailed off. Her eye went a little unfocused, and suddenly, she remembered.

_“Thank fuck it was me...”_

“No,” Undyne whispered, shaking her head slowly. She barely even felt the tears running down her cheeks; her mind was rewinding those events, and she realised that she missed a huge part of it.

“Undyne?” Frisk said softly, breaking her free of her blind reverie. “What--?”

“She did it on purpose,” Undyne blurted out, her whole body shaking with anger – and hurt. “Oh god...” She hunched over, covering her face, but she kept her eye open, wishing she could see anything but those moments, now.

“WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?” Papyrus asked, confused.

Undyne shook her head, her eye wide. “She tripped me,” she answered. “She... I dunno how, but she knew something was up. She grabbed me, and tripped me with her tail, even when I tried to stay in front of her...”

Toriel's hands were over her mouth, her eyes wide – the only one, save perhaps Sans, who truly understood the significance of that action.

“And she just _stood_ there, just took the bullets, and dropped on top of me...” Undyne concluded, her voice thick and barely understandable. “Like it was routine… She could've fallen to the ground _with_ me, so _neither_ of us would get shot... but she didn't! She made sure _I_ was safe, and just stood there! _She just stood there!!”_

After that, she went silent, save the sound of her tears. Even when she felt Asgore kneel in front of her, even when she knew he was talking to her, even when she knew, without question, that they needed her to keep explaining.... She could not.

All she could see, now, was Alphys, standing there, keeping Undyne to the ground, but staying there, not moving, not speaking, not even flinching...

“ _Thank fuck it was me...”_

Undyne sobbed, then, barely able to even steady her breathing, unable to slow down, even when she knew she had to.

Because her greatest fear was true.

Alphys saw herself as nothing.

Alphys agreed with her guilty verdict.

Alphys thought she deserved to die.

And nothing, nothing at all, would make that okay.

Undyne kept crying, for a long time, after, and Sans didn't say anything else.

* * *

When Alphys woke up, she was bewildered. She shifted a little, her senses slowly coming back, and she felt heavy and tired. She ached, but in a way that was easy to ignore, and she could taste, in the back of her throat, why.

So she wasn't surprised when she suddenly realised she heard a constant beeping noise, one that grew faster with her awakening. She flexed her hands, swallowing hard, and felt that her left was cold and heavy, and she felt the sting of an IV port, as well as the clip over her index finger, the one that made that machine beep at all.

She shifted, again, then gasped when she felt how painful it was. She stopped moving, and it eased. When she reached up, her right hand clumsy, she felt an oxygen tube attached to her nose.

She gritted her teeth, lowering her hand. She tried to sit up, but that hurt, too. She then managed to open her eyes, and found that she was right.

She was in a hospital.

She'd survived.

She tried to speak, unable to turn her head very well, and she was unsure anyone was even there. She got out a few dry coughs, followed by several sounds that were more like growling than anything else.

But when nothing happened, she squinted, her right hand running over the sides of the small cot she was in, and found four buttons on a side panel, one built into the railing. She couldn't see what they said, so she pushed each one once. Her bed went down, then up, before the light turned off (she kept it off; it hurt her eyes). After all of that, finally, she paged the nursing staff.

When one answered, she tried to speak, but only got out, “Mmmnngh...”

Surprisingly, they answered her with “We'll be right there, Doctor, stay calm.”

She nodded, forgetting they couldn't see her, and she settled back down.

Alphys closed her eyes, and waited, comforted by the fact that help was on the way - and that Undyne was still safe.


	9. Chapter 9

Undyne was, of course, the first one to make it to the room, and was the only one allowed in – but through trickery, alone.

And Undyne was only “allowed” in because she'd been eavesdropping, and had heard Alphys's voice. She saw the nurse who'd responded, and followed her all the way to Alphys's room.

She wasn't even discovered when the nurse paused in the doorway – and Undyne almost collided into them.

And truthfully, she _was_ about to let the nurse go in first.

Really.

The nurse went in and said, “Hello, Doctor, it's good to see you awake."

Undyne's heart raced with hope - then heard her own name, in Alphys's confused, broken stammers, her voice slowly getting louder with each syllable.

Undyne felt her whole body flood with both excitement and relief. Hearing that, she wanted Alphys, and _now_.

And clearly, Alphys wanted her, too.

Undyne threw herself forward and past the nurse, her eye blurry with tears, blinding her for a moment. She reached out, her other hand absently grabbing a chair, and when she sat down, her hand was already being squeezed.

When she blinked her tears free, she could finally see. When their eyes met, Alphys's lit up; she then managed to finally have control of her speech back, proven when she cried out, her voice tiny, “U-Undyne...? Un-Un- _Undyne_...!”

Undyne heard her, leaning over and hugging onto Alphys, both forgetting her injuries, thus causing Alphys to yelp and jump away, then drop back, her eyes filling with pained tears.

“Why does it hurt...?!” Alphys cried, the sudden shock of pain making her forget anything else but that.

Well, save Undyne's hand, her only semblance of relief.

The nurse – an older woman – had finally come in and closed the door, looking a touch annoyed, but mostly relieved; clearly, she knew who Alphys was, and _wasn't_ one of the many who now loathed her.

And she was a _human_ , too.

“You were shot, Doctor,” the nurse reminded her, her face kind. “And you just woke up.”

“Pl-please... _please_ , it _hurts_ ,” Alphys answered weakly, her whole body awash with pain and discomfort, the feel if it agonising.

Undyne turned to the nurse, about to snap at her, but the nurse spoke, first.

“Right here,” she replied, holding up a small plastic bag of liquid.

She set down Alphys's chart, and went to her IV pole, hooking the new bag up to it and beside the much larger bag of saline - and a medium-sized bag of blood. She worked like she could do it in her sleep, moving fast and with ease. She stopped the saline and turned the small bag's line to fast drip. She checked the blood, nodded, then moved back, making notes in the charts.

Alphys was about to say that it wasn't working, but was silenced the moment it started to. She was so shocked by the amount of relief that she laid back, her eyes wide and fixed ahead. With each drop, Alphys felt better, and soon, she felt really, _really_ good.

And perhaps a _little_ stupid as a result...

Undyne grinned, rather enjoying the way Alphys seemed to just sigh her pain away, looking a little sleepy, but in a way that was comforting to her.

And, yes: very, _very_ cute.

“Sh-shot,” Alphys repeated, now. She snorted, then looked up at the nurse, smirking. “Shot?”

“Twice,” Undyne answered, for a moment losing her levity. "Look, nerd." She pointed to the blood transfusion, but her hand was unsteady and shaky.

Alphys still noticed, nodded, then turned to Undyne, her own smile wavering. She reached up and touched Undyne's cheek, noticing, now, just how exhausted – and _traumatised_ – Undyne was.

“Oh...” Alphys whispered. She searched Undyne's face, her eyes blinking slowly. The longer she watched, the sadder Undyne became; she looked _bewildered_ by Undyne's grief. 

When Undyne forced herself to understand that bewilderment, of _why_ Alphys was so shocked by that grief, she felt even _worse_.

Alphys swallowed hard for a moment, about to ask Undyne something, but the nurse took their silence as a pause, and spoke up.

“Yes, Doctor, you were shot, and twice,” the nurse agreed, nodding to Undyne. “In you side, and your chest, just below of you ribs; it almost hit your breast.”

Alphys nodded, touching the tube in her nose. That explained much. “My lung?”

“Yep,” the nurse agreed, looking surprised – before remembering that Alphys was a doctor. “But it's okay, now, if you keep that tube in, and keep breathing.”

The nurse smiled, again, and Alphys felt a tiny bit better.

“How long do we gotta stay?” Undyne then asked, holding Alphys's hand between her own, and in her lap.

“Well, Dr Alphys needs to stay for a few more days, until we're positive her lung won't collapse, again, and her asthma doesn't flare up,” the nurse replied, reading the chart.

“Before you ask,” she added, her eyes back on Alphys, “we have a puffer for you, the same as your own.”

Alphys smiled, relieved. “Thank you.”

“Uhm,” Undyne broke in, sounded annoyed. “I said ‘ _we_ ', how long do _we_ have to stay.”

Alphys smiled at her, feeling oddly flattered by this. Undyne flashed her a grin, but then still looked rather pointedly at the nurse.

The nurse sighed, but also smiled. “I'll ask the doctor if you can stay with her,” she agreed.

Undyne's grin returned, nodding.

“In the meantime, Undyne, I'll give you both some time alone, then I’ll send in guests, in about a half-hour. Is that okay?”

Both of them nodded, and the nurse smiled, nodded back, and left.

Undyne turned to Alphys, but Alphys was already reaching for her, and they hugged, tight, both unable to hold back more tears, especially when reality kicked back in, and they were forced to see the facts.

Alphys closed her eyes, inwardly pleading with Undyne not to ask, or know, or even realise...

But it failed.

“Alphy,” Undyne whispered, her eye closed. “Why did you...? _How_ did you...?”

Alphys didn't speak, hoping that if she stayed silent, Undyne would give up and move on. She kept her eyes closed, kept still, and even tried to hold her breath.

“Alphy,” Undyne repeated, her voice firmer, now. “Tell me. Please.”

“You... you're mad at me,” Alphys whispered, the medication starting to make her feel vulnerable and needy. “I-I don't want you to... to-to l-leave me...”

“I don't want to leave,” Undyne answered quickly; the last thing she wanted was for Alphys to think that. “I don't want _you_ to leave,” she added, her voice growing smaller. “But you... you _were_ gonna...”

She went quiet for a moment, shaking in Alphys's arms. Alphys held her, hoping that either it would calm her, or make her change the subject.

But she did not. “You were gonna let yourself be _killed_ ,” she finished.

Alphys bit her lip, wishing she could disappear, because the hurt in Undyne's voice was worse than the pain she felt from her injuries.

Alphys swallowed hard, knowing that Undyne expected an explanation. But when she tried to think of one, her mind came up with things that, if she said them, would only anger Undyne.

The longer Alphys kept quiet, the more Undyne realised how bad this really was, and how she'd completely missed it, before now. She knew that Alphys was censoring herself, and didn't like it.

Undyne knew Alphys that well, by now.

“You really do agree with them, don't you?” Undyne finally blurted out, slowly pulling away, keeping hold of her hands.

Alphys leaned back, looking disappointed – until she heard those words, and tried to pull her hands away.

But Undyne kept her hold, and soon, she gave up.

When Undyne was about to repeat her question, Alphys answered a different one.

“I saw them,” she muttered, her eyes fixing on the IV bags, barely able to make out its drips without her glasses. “In the bushes, while we were walking.”

Undyne stared at her, feeling very cold, now. “How long...?”

Alphys answered, “As soon as we hit the sidewalk, again, on the last leg toward the school.”

“You didn't tell me.”

It wasn't a question, but Alphys answered her like it was. “I knew why they were there,” she said, her voice low, and growing slightly slurred. “I knew they w-wanted me.”

“So, instead of letting me push us _both_ down, and keeping us _both_ safe, you--,”

Alphys turned back to her, her eyes narrowed – and dark with hurt. _“No,”_ she snapped, surprising Undyne. “I did what I _needed_ to do, to keep us as safe as we could be. If you'd done that, they'd of shot you up while trying to get rid of me!”

Undyne was about to snap back, but when she did, the meaning of Alphys's words sunk in, and she flinched, looking away.

Because she was right: that was _exactly_ what Undyne had planned to do.

“This way,” Alphys continued, when she saw Undyne was not going to reply, “I'm hurt, but I’m not dead. And I’m the _only_ one hurt.”

Her voice broke, without control, on that last word, because the mental image of what hadn't been washed over her, and it hurt her, too.

“I never want that,” she blurted out, her eyes filling with tears. “I... I n-need to take respon-responsibility... If you... if-if _you_ got hurt... because of _m-me_... I… I wouldn't be... I-I _couldn't_ be...” 

Alphys trailed off, because now, she was crying, and now, she couldn't stop.

Undyne, the second she realised, shrugged off her shame and guilt, and instead leaned down and hugged Alphys, again. Alphys clung to her, breaking down against her chest, but even as she cried, she could still hear Undyne's heartbeat. And hearing it still beating comforted her, too – almost as much as the embrace.

Undyne rocked her gently, breaking down, herself, finally able to admit to herself that, while she knew they were opposites in many ways, the traits they shared were the most important – and damning.

So, Undyne said the one thing Alphys could understand, to give her full perspective on what she’d done, and how Undyne felt as a result.

“That feeling, r-right there,” Undyne whispered, her eye closed and her cheek atop Alphys's head. “That's h-how it feels for _me_ , right now, Alphy...”

And, just as Undyne knew it would, it got through to Alphys, and she stiffened in Undyne's arms, her whole body shivering with guilt and regret.

“I'm sorry,” Alphys squeaked out, her voice high-pitched and minuscule.

But Undyne heard it – and heard the honesty in it, too, and kissed Alphys's forehead, nodding a little, but not letting go.

Instead, she held _tighter_.

When Alphys did the same, Undyne lost her composure - all of it - and broke down, too.

Only a handful of times in her life had made Undyne truly weep, and this was one of those times. It also meant that she rarely ever revealed this side of herself to anyone, save perhaps three or four people.

Alphys was one of those people, and had seen this, before... but not like _this_.

Never as bad as _this_.

From the start, even as friends, Undyne knew she _could_ cry like this with Alphys, and without fear or shame.

The first time she'd done it was an accident, over a whole week's worth of frustration. She'd pretended she was fine, went over to the Lab; when the door opened, her face fell, and she started sobbing, even before Alphys could say hello.

And now, like then, Alphys held her, stroking her hair and rubbing her back. Only this time, she could do even more, and added kisses and soft words, making it even better.

For now.

Despite the odds, it was about to get worse.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will give Glavenus a half-credit for half-guessing what happens, next. You were so close!

Eventually, everyone did manage to get in to see Alphys, at least once, and by the end, Alphys was barely awake, her eyelids heavy and her mind sluggish. The medication had been renewed twice, now, and was about to get a last dose before she – at least _tried_ to – sleep for the night.

By then, it truly was dipping into night, earlier than either were used to for sleeping, but both were exhausted, especially Alphys, and both knew they'd sleep fine through the night.

True to her word, the nurse they'd started with did get Undyne permission to sleep with Alphys – just not in the same bed, for safety reasons (Undyne could've been caught in Alphys's tubes; might've pulled something out; risked falling out and causing injury to either of them; etc.).

Undyne was given a chair that could be used like a bed if adjusted properly. They both worked together to make sure their “beds” were as aligned as possible, and by the end, Alphys was giggling weakly, but from within Undyne's arms.

“Alphy,” Undyne whispered, her eye closed, her cheek pressed against the top of Alphys's bare head. "This... this has gotta stop.”

The sudden change in topic surprised Alphys, as up until then, things had been rather jovial. She was thrown, especially when she felt Undyne pull her closer, her whole body shaking.

Alphys wanted to fight with her, again. She wanted to tell Undyne that _this_ was who she was, and that was that. She wanted Undyne to know that, for Alphys, Undyne would always come first. She needed Undyne to accept that, too, instead of always fighting with her like this.

But when she felt Undyne tense up, right before it looked like Alphys was about to say something, she looked - and felt - guilty; Undyne expected Alphys to say exactly what she wanted to say, and Undyne didn't want her to.

And suddenly, neither did Alphys, because she finally understood why Undyne was so adamant about this: their impending marriage.

If they wanted their marriage to work – hell, if they even wanted to get married at _all_ – then Alphys needed to start sharing her woes. Marriage was about sharing things that needed to be shared – and carried, together, when one cannot, alone.

Alphys's depression and regret were two of those major things she needed to share, even if she hated it.

 _I'd want Undyne to be honest with me,_ she thought, reversing their roles, like she often forgot to do.

 _I_ want _Undyne to be honest with me..._

_So I need to be honest, too._

“Yes,” she whispered, at last. “It does.”

Undyne's eye snapped open, the second Alphys said ‘yes', and in silence, her eye filled with tears, while it stared ahead blindly and listened.

Those words had _not_ been expected.

Honestly, to Alphys, it felt good. It felt overdue, but still cathartic and good. Both of them knew the importance of those three words.

Undyne sobbed, just once, before leaning down and kissing Alphys's lips, holding her face between her hands. Alphys returned it, her own hands touching Undyne's face, and together, both tried to dry the other's tears – only to laugh softly, and break apart.

Undyne pressed her forehead to Alphys's, their eyes locked. “Thank you,” she murmured, her eye closing for a moment. “I love you, Alphy. Thank you...”

“Thank _you_!” Alphys insisted. “For being so patient... For... for being _strong_ , for the both of us...”

Undyne opened her eye, and it glinted with affection. Alphys blushed, and soon, they both heard her tail thump happily against her cot – making Undyne grin and Alphys blush deeper.

“I... I love you,” Alphys concluded, her eyelids feeling heavy.

Undyne smiled, then moved back to help Alphys settle better in the cot. Alphys blinked up at Undyne slowly, her hand holding onto Undyne's tight. Undyne smiled at her, keeping her gaze on Alphys's, until that gaze unfocused, and Alphys closed her eyes for the night.

Undyne leaned back, wrapping her blanket around herself, before resuming her hold on Alphys's hand.

She didn't remember falling asleep. She only remembered waking up.

And in hell.

* * *

_I can't breathe...?_

It was a thought that suddenly overcame Alphys, in her dreams. In those dreams, she'd been doing something... and then, she'd failed it, and was somehow suffocating...

She hated dreams like this, because her body sometimes seemed to forget to breathe, thinking it real, and it woke her up, realising that she needed her puffer.

She'd thought all of this, in moments that had seemed slow to her, but were fast – faster than she could keep up with.

Because when she woke up, she was _still_ unable to breathe.

When she tried to reach out, to grab her puffer from her nightstand, forgetting where she was and why, only her fingers twitched. She tried the other, and found it the same. She pulled, and felt that her arms were pinned down.

She couldn't use her arms.

 _I need air,_ she thought, confused. _Why can't I find my...?_

Her thought trailed off, because her eyes had started to work, and she couldn't understand what she was seeing.

All she could see was her nurse, the nightshift nurse, the one who'd helped both her and Undyne settle into sleep for the night. He was a human, and big, both tall and strong, and he'd been civil with them, never cruel.

Which was why Alphys was so confused, because he was the reason why she couldn't breathe.

His hands were around her neck, and when she tried to move, again, she realised that she'd been restrained to the bed - her arms _and_ her legs.

And even if she could have moved to provide a struggle, she still would have failed, because the pain medication made her feel dizzy and weak, and her chest felt weighed down, as if being crushed.

_He'd planned it._

Alphys stared at him, stunned by the amount of hate she could see; even if she looked with both the dim lighting, and her own dimming vision, it was all the same: _hatred_.

It was a hatred that was like fire, one that engulfed anyone merely too close to him.

Alphys was the one choking on the acrid, poisonous smoke of his hatred, unable to escape.

And she _tried_ , with all that she was...

 _“You,”_ he hissed out, when he saw she was awake. “You, and _her_ , and your friends, you are _disgusting_. You are _monsters_.”

He said the word like it was a curse, an insult, and not merely observation. No, he meant it the way humans used it, now: someone depraved and cruel, sadistic and evil.

_Me...? I'm...? Am I…?_

She opened her mouth, trying to speak, but all she got out were strange noises, sounds not even close to words.

She was losing, and it was scaring her. She _didn't_ want to lose...

That part of her that would have normally said, _Let it happen. Let it end with you,_ was silent. That voice that was always on her side, when it came to her own health being compared to another's.

She'd expected it to say that he was doing the right thing, and she should let it happen, but it did not.

Instead, she heard, very faintly, now, as her mind started to turn off, again, _another_ voice, one so tiny that she couldn't understand it at first.

But she kept trying to listen, even as the nurse went on.

“You come up here, and hide these _things_ from us, so that you can appear to be good and kind and you pretend to be  _people_ , just like us humans. But you _aren't."_

Alphys again tried to speak, but she only made strained, pathetic squeaks, and her eyes filled with tears. She closed them, briefly, to try and hear that voice over his loathing, and this time, succeeded.

 _Make noise,_ it said. _Make as much noise as possible._

_Where is Undyne?_

_Do something!_

_He's done something to Undyne, and she needs to wake up!_

_You need to get free, and save her!_

_Do something!!_

Alphys gritted her teeth, unable to keep her eyes open, now. As the human went on, she barely listened, instead focusing on her body, and what could or could not move at this moment.

“Of _course_ you're evil,” she heard him go on, and she growled, faintly, before regretting the waste of air. “Of _course_ you'd experiment on children. Of _course_ you would exploit innocent lives--,”

_There!_

_Right there!_

_Now!!_

She was running out of time. She only had enough strength for this one chance, and if she messed it up, they'd _both_ be dead.

_I don't want to die! I don't! I'm sorry!_

_Please...! Please, let me live...!!_

So, while he tortured her with his words as well as his hands, she pushed all that she had left into one part of her body, and right before she knew she was about to die, she made some noise.

Her tail swung up, forgotten by a human not expecting one, and slammed right into him, striking the inside of his leg. She missed the place she'd _wanted_ to hit, but it was still enough to make him shout out in confusion and stumble a bit, in turn making _more_ noise, _louder_ noise, noise desperate to be heard...

But the pressure around her neck merely loosened, before returning, and just before she could steal a breath from those seconds, they tightened, again, and she failed.

After that, things became hazy; she remembered were the words, “Nice try,” hissed at her, with such malice and disgust that it hurt.

Then, she heard more words, just as she was going deaf. But she couldn't understand them, even though she knew the voice speaking them wasn't his.

 _Help,_ she thought, pointlessly, uselessly, wishing she could scream it…

_Help me..._

But nobody came.

Alphys lost.


	11. Chapter 11

Undyne slept _hard_ , the second her eye closed, and not long after the night-shift nurse had come in to replace her bag of saline.

Except, she _hadn't_ been hooked up to an IV; she'd just been ported, from her prior sedation.

By the time she remembered this, she forgot; she just dropped asleep, something she rarely did in a foreign place, and was under so deeply that she didn't even dream.

She thought she had been dreaming, at first. When she woke up, she felt slow and stupid, everything blurry and muffled. She could barely keep her eye open, let alone focus it. She tried to move, but her body ignored her. She tried to shake herself awake, but again, her body remained still.

But her ears twitched, and her heart suddenly began to race, because she'd heard something bad, and her body was starting to panic. She just couldn't figure out what it had _been_...

 _What the fuck is wrong with me...?_ she thought, trying to shake her head again – and managing it, this time.

With it, her ears suddenly popped, and sound crashed into her, sounds that she was having trouble naming, but her body knew was bad. She was suddenly overcome with panic and adrenaline, and when her eye opened for good, she could focus it.

And she couldn't believe what she was seeing.

Their nurse, the very nurse they'd trusted with their bodies, the same nurse who'd been civil and understanding, was sitting down on Alphys's chest, and his hands were around her neck. Her tail, one that had been moving, suddenly dropped, as if someone cut its strings...

“Nice try,” Undyne heard him hiss – to Alphys, she saw, her whole body slowly tensing with horror and fury, understanding in seconds what was wrong.

It had worked. Alphys's tail-hit had made enough noise to wake Undyne up, even if it had been her last act.

Undyne rose to her feet, moving fast but feeling slow, and she shouted, already rushing forward _, “What the fuck are you doing?!”_

By then, she didn't care; she said it to get his attention, and it worked. He raised his head, shocked to see her awake, let alone racing toward him, but she still slammed into him, wrapped her arms around his waist, and with a kind of grace only Undyne could give, supplexed him into from the cot, to the cold, hard floor, face-first.

He squawked, before he went still.

Undyne dropped him, standing back up and rushing back to Alphys, her hand already pressing the call button at least a dozen times – before she focused, her eye landing on Alphys's face.

The first thing she saw were the tears that had streaked down Alphys's cheeks, and she reached down and used her thumbs to brush them away. Undyne didn't know it, but _she_ was crying, now, her breaths messy and choked.

Because the more she could see, the worse she felt.

Alphys didn't move, not even when she was touched by Undyne. She was eerily still; her face was pale and pinched with pain, but she didn't move.

Undyne searched her face, then leaned closer. “Alphy?” she called, despite knowing it was useless. She took hold of Alphys's shoulders and shook her, gently, but still enough that would - normally - wake her. “Alphy! _Alphys_ , talk to me!”

By the time she'd finished that sentence, the other nurses had arrived – two of them. They were both confused by what they saw – one of their own on the floor and groaning, followed by Undyne sob-shouting at Alphys, who wasn't responding.

When Undyne added, “Alphy, wake up! _Wake up!”_ , _they_ were the ones that woke up, and they went right over to Alphys, ignoring their coworker.

For now.

They (a monster man, and a human woman) gently nudged Undyne back, even though she wanted anything but that; the two nurses appeared to have come to the same conclusion, as they exchanged a look, then suddenly went to work, forcing Undyne back even more.

Which was probably wise, because it was then that the human nurse reached under the cot and pulled out a heavy, metallic box. The monster leaned over Alphys, his hands to her – he saw with obvious shock – bruised neck.

“Strangled, Em,” the monster said to the human, who jumped, paling, before going back to the box. To Undyne's surprise, her accusatory eyes didn't go to Undyne, but the fallen nurse.

“Pulse?” the human – Em – asked, before blushing and shaking her head; clearly, she was still learning monster anatomy. "Right, sorry."

“Full mask,” he told her, and she nodded. He then moved to the back of the bed and grabbed a wire, attaching the clip end of it to one of Alphys's fingers – and making him pause. “Who restrained her?”

Both Undyne and Em looked up with visible shock.

 _“Restrained?!”_ Undyne echoed, about to stand up.

But then, Undyne heard it: Alphys's heartbeat. It was soft, and slow, but it was beating. Her knees gave out, making her sit back down, but with relief, this time. She focused on that sound, holding her hands to her chest, worried that if she didn't, her own heart would break.

“Where, Gord?”

“Arms and legs.” He turned his head around for a moment, his eyes clearly on the other nurse, before he frowned, and turned back to Alphys.

 _“Jesus Christ,”_ Em hissed out, standing back up and holding a mask, one she exchanged Alphys's nose-tube with. Gord undid the restraints, while Em hooked the mask up to something – Undyne didn't really care – before placing the mask over Alphys's snout.

With controlled timing, both nurses worked together to get Alphys breathing on her own, again, and in a way that didn't shock her body, especially her heart.

And not long after, Alphys suddenly jerked, as if being dropped, and she started coughing, breathing in deeply after each one. Her hands went up, trying to push them away, still thinking she was being attacked. Together, the nurses held her still, even as she kept panicking, but they were both kind and strong, and kept her there.

Undyne was now on her feet and standing beside Gord, her hands out and shaking, but the rest of her too scared to do anything else, save watch Alphys for signs that she was okay.

Signs she had yet to see.

Until Undyne heard – and only she heard it, thanks to her ears – Alphys try to speak, tears running down her cheeks.

When she tried, and choked on the words, Undyne was suddenly right there with her, holding onto one of her hands and pressing it against her lips, trying to warm it...

 _That_ was Alphys's true first memory, the one she remembered clearest: feeling Undyne kiss her fingertips. Before then, her memories were murky and cold, and all she knew was panic and pain.

At least now, she felt pain, but less panic, thanks to that gentle touch. She focused on it, the pain of both her wounds and her neck flaring up alongside her consciousness, and was able to keep herself calm, despite either of those things.

This was good, as her calmness made it easier to help her, and she was soon stabilised. Her breathing soon evened out, and her heart became stronger with each breath. Those breaths, however, were painful to Alphys, and it was obvious in the way she breathed: raspy and edged with pain, often wheezing and coughing in between.

“Okay,” Em said, the moment Gord nodded to her, his eyes on Alphys's readouts. “Time it, two minutes.” He nodded, his eyes staying where they were.

Undyne opened her eye, finally brave enough to look at Alphys, and she sat down, again, her knees once more giving out. Alphys was conscious, but barely; she was confused, her eyes bloodshot and constantly tearing up, and when she tried to speak, nothing came out, save painful growls or squeaks, and they were muffled by the oxygen mask. She closed her eyes tight, gritting her teeth, but she couldn't help it: she burst into tears.

Undyne suddenly knew exactly what to do, and in silence, she moved closer and wrapped her arms around Alphys, holding her as close to herself as she was able to, without disruption. Alphys made a pained yelp of a sound, the movement jarring her neck, but her hands reached up, and when she realised she could, she grabbed onto Undyne's back, digging her claws in as hard as she could, trying to shut up but finding it more painful to keep quiet.

So she didn't. She pretended to forget how.

Instead, Alphys sobbed, as loud as she could, because her _pain_ was loud, too, louder than she could even scream out...

Undyne nodded, whispering to her, “It's okay, Alphy. You're safe. Let it out. You're safe.”

So, Alphys let it out.

And Undyne held her – and it – up, within her arms, and refused to let go.


	12. Chapter 12

Both nurses were able to still work around them, and both knew that to disturb either one, right now, would make things worse. But both were now starting to calm down, too, and the longer Alphys cried, the longer their gazes lingered upon the _other_ nurse.

When the two minutes were up, they both nodded. Em got up and left, but Gord remained. He touched Undyne's shoulder, needing her attention, and when she pulled away, he told her, while still looking away, “Lie her back down, and keep her head still. Em is getting the doctor.”

Undyne obeyed, though Alphys did try to protest, the sounds coming from her sharp and loud, and she tried to shake her head, but only hurt her neck doing so. That was, until Undyne leaned back down and pressed her forehead to her future wife's.

When that happened, Alphys closed her eyes, comfort washing over her, and she relaxed. Undyne kissed her mask, then sat up and pulled Alphys's hands away, but again, before Alphys panicked, Undyne held them in her lap, instead.

Alphys went quiet, then, her whole body suddenly _begging_ for help; everything hurt, and the worst of the wounds throbbed in time with her heart. She could move, now, but her wrists and ankles still stung, and she felt the ghosts of the restraints upon them. She trembled, with fading shock and increasing exhaustion, and Undyne held her hands tight, her sole comfort.

Undyne had been watching Alphys, until she remembered.

When she remembered, she gently placed Alphys's hands onto the bed, pushed past Gord - well, grabbed his shoulder and pushed him behind her - and walked over to the unnamed nurse.

Then, before Gord - or even Alphys - could say a word, Undyne shouted out a string of profanity and kicked her fiancée's attacker, right in the belly, and as hard as she possibly could, knowing it would _never_ be hard enough. He made a pathetic noise of protest, but Undyne snarled, drowning him out, and she kicked him, _again_.

By then, Gord had recovered, and he turned back and grabbed hold of Undyne, pulling her arms back and making her stumble, so that she had to let him pull her away, or else she'd fall. She did, and he shoved her back into the closest chair, one she almost tripped over. 

Undyne, however, started to get back up, still not satisfied, still wanting to kick him, over and over, until she saw _blood_...

But it was then that Gord suddenly said, his tone strangely warm, “So... he did it, yeah? For sure?”

The fact that he not only _didn't_ chastise her for it, but also seemed to _agree_ with what she'd done, made her calm down a little.

“Yes,” she answered. “I woke up, and _that_ \--,” she spat at him, but sadly missed, “—was trying to kill my fiancée.”

Gord nodded. “Okay. I'm gonna let those kicks slide, alright?” he added, meeting her gaze at last, and this time actually keeping it. “I'll tell them you did it getting him off of her.”

“Why?” she asked, confused.

She sat down, then checked on Alphys, leaning back down over her and holding her hands. Alphys grabbed hold, making a soft, raspy noise of amusement, and Undyne smiled, especially when Alphys pulled one of her hands to her cheek and smiled back. Undyne curved her hand, and Alphys sighed, holding onto Undyne's arm with both hands and letting her eyes close, again, feeling safe, once more.

Clearly, Alphys had noticed - and shared - Undyne's anger, and was happy with those kicks. It became even clearer when her tail thumped a few times, and Undyne laughed softly. 

“ _That's_ why,” Gord answered, nodding to Alphys - and startling them both. “Also... Did you ask for sedation, Captain?”

The question threw her. “No. Why?”

Gord gritted his teeth, then pointed to Undyne's IV pole. Attached to it wasn't the saline, like she'd been told, but a small bag of... something _else_. 

“Oh...” she whispered. “He... sedated me...”

Undyne then trembled, feeling very violated all of a sudden, the idea of someone drugging her, in order to hurt her or someone else, made her feel vulnerable  -and small.

Especially when she remembered that she wasn't even _supposed_ to be medicated, _including_ saline.

“And then he restrained her,” Gord agreed, nodding to Alphys, again. “He _really_ wanted her dead.”

Undyne felt anger flare up in her, again, but she knew better than to expect another free kick. Instead, she moved closer to Alphys, who was now tugging on Undyne's other hand. She gave it to her, and Alphys pulled it to her, pressing Undyne's palm beneath her gown and over her skin.

Where her heart still beat.

Undyne bit her lip, but Alphys then opened her eyes, their colour bright with pain – but also with urgency, a need to be understood. She tried to speak, but again, her voice failed her, so she closed her eyes, inhaled sharply, and held Undyne's hand over her heart, nodding.

When she exhaled, she open her eyes, and Undyne stared at her, her eye full of tears, her whole body shaking with both regret and gratitude.

Because she understood what Alphys was trying to say, and it made her weep.

Undyne leaned down and rested her head beside Alphys, so that they could stare into each other's eyes, both keen on forgetting anyone else, not unless they _both_ felt better. Alphys nuzzled Undyne's other hand, the one still curved around her pale cheek, and weakly, Undyne sobbed, understanding that, too. She took hold of Alphys's face and kissed it all over, making Alphys cry, too, especially when Undyne kissed her mask.

It was then that Em returned, with two security guards and the doctor. Gord had been standing over the other nurse, just in case he woke up (he did not), and waved them over.

“He sedated the Captain and tied the Doctor down,” Gord said, pointing out the pieces of evidence. “And the Captain woke up and saw him choking the Doc.”

The doctor was looking at Undyne's IV pole, then at Alphys, their expression sad. They turned to Gord and nodded, and the two security guards grabbed hold of that nurse and dragged him out, probably to another room, to be treated - then arrested.

Undyne was absolutely going to press charges, and she knew Alphys agreed.

The doctor then apologised to both Undyne and Alphys, while the other two nurses worked around them, giving Alphys pain medication and a sedative, and unhooking Undyne completely from her IV, hand-port and all.

Undyne had to move away from Alphys for that, which was when the doctor examined Alphys closely, using magic to help heal what medicine could not, and numb what magic could not. Alphys barely noticed, by then almost asleep; the doctor had a neck brace put on her, and she barely twitched. When she could relax with it, and it felt better to, she relaxed, again... but then passed out by accident.

It scared Undyne, but the doctor reassured her that they would've stopped Alphys if they thought sleep was a danger to her, right now. They then smiled, and offered her some coffee, surprising her. She nodded, and they promised to be back with some.

By the time Undyne was settled, again, she had her coffee, Alphys was still asleep, and their room was now guarded.

But _she_ didn't sleep.

Even when they were alone, and Alphys slept safely, Undyne stayed awake. She turned the TV on, using close-captioning, and watched it with disinterest, her whole body humming with pent up frustration and anxiety.

And... _fear_.

She hated it, but it was true. She was now afraid to sleep here, not while Alphys was asleep. Even though she knew better, she now feared that _everyone_ might try to hurt Alphys. Even the _doctor_ scared her.

So, she stayed awake, watching the TV without seeing it, sipping her coffee without tasting it...

At least, when she held Alphys's hand, she felt _that_. She felt that with her whole body, and it helped her stay still.

Undyne stayed up all night, hearing only the sound of Alphys's breathing.

Making sure she _always_ heard the sound of Alphys's breathing.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one got long, and after I cut it in half, too! Blargh! Sorry x_x

Undyne _had_ to leave. She knew she couldn't hold back any more, but at the same time, she didn't move, deciding the risk wasn't worth the reward. She was distracted, her mind stretched too thin, and on too little sleep.

So when the nurse came in to check on Alphys, Undyne stood up and begged him – it was Gord – to stay with Alphys, so that she could get it over with and be back.

"Please," she said, her voice strained, "just five minutes, please. I drank too much coffee..."

“Yeah, of course,” he agreed, smiling. “Get something to eat, too. She's okay. She's just recovering.”

Undyne bit her lip. “No... I’ll… I’ll go get food, on my way back. Is that okay?”

When he nodded, she grabbed her purse, grateful, and leaned down to kiss Alphys’s forehead.

She was so embarrassed that she was blushing hotly, and the heat of that blush made her miss something, a thing so important that she regretted it for the rest of her life, even when it worked out.

But she missed it.

And she stood up and darted out, quickly, avoiding eye contact. She only looked up once she hit the hallway, and that was only because she'd forgotten about security, and seeing them made her jump.

Undyne was so sure that she hadn't gone that long. Fifteen, twenty minutes, she knew, and she rushed – and later, Gord would back her up on it.

When Undyne came back, already anxious, she slipped back into the room, and moved to push back the curtain and sit down, again, hoping Alphys was awake, excited by the prospect of it...

But when Undyne tried to walk in, she was stopped by a different nurse. She blinked, looking up and setting her bags aside, trying again to move back to Alphys's side – only to be stopped, again.

“Give me a minute,” she heard Gord say sharply, and she frowned, moving to look past this unknown nurse. “It's okay, Captain. It's normal, okay? I'm changing the meds, now."

“ _What's_ normal?” she demanded. “Can you _please_ let me _pass_?!” she snarled at the other nurse.

“Yeah, let her in,” Gord agreed, and with a sniff, the nurse stepped back.

Undyne shoved past them, growling a little, before she stormed over to Alphys's bed – only to stop, blinking.

Alphys was still sleeping, she saw. But something was wrong about it, and in her sleepless haze, Undyne's mind was too slow to catch up. She sat down, her eye on Alphys's face, and when she leaned down to look at her closer, Gord moved away, giving her space.

“Captain,” he said, and slowly, her mind started to catch up. “I called the doctor, as soon as possible, the second I found out, and they're on their way back, right now. It's just a precaution, because this can happen, and it _is_ okay, but with her asthma—,”

“Shut up,” she hissed, her eye burning. _"Please."_

She sat there, hunched over for a moment, feeling her whole body shaking. She squeezed the hand she held between both of her own, the one free of the IV, but she didn't get one back.

Alphys's hand was hot, and damp with sweat.

Undyne's whole body flooded with white-hot rage, and she got up, her eye going right to Gord and staying on him. She bared her teeth, and the strangest thing happened: her eye changed, just a bit. The iris was surrounded by black.

Needless to say, it _terrified_ Gord, and he held his hands up, clearly remembering those kicks. “Captain,” he repeated, his voice wavering. “I'm on _your_ side, here.”

Undyne twitched, her fingers flexing, before she closed her eye, her body slowly relaxing. She slumped back down into the chair and hunched over in it, again, and this time, she stayed there, holding her head in her hands.

Fever.

Alphys had a fever, and it was keeping her unconscious.

Even Undyne knew how bad it could be.

She also knew that Gord was telling the truth, which was why she stopped herself at all.

She couldn't help that rage.

She just needed to hurt... _something_.

 _Anything_. Anything at _all_ , so that she could be free of this festering _hatred_...

Gord didn't move for a moment, not even when she raised her head, and he saw that her eye was normal, again.

But then, she lowered it into her arms, propping herself up on Alphys's bed, as close to her face as possible. One hand reached out, and covered Alphys's, her fingers shaking.

Then, in between the sounds of automated oxygen for Alphys, anyone could hear it: soft, defeated sobs.

They were the tears of someone forced to admit defeat, who was surrendering, because she knew she was beaten, and it hurt and shamed her.

_I'm not enough. I'll never be enough. I never deserved to be enough..._

Then, she felt a tentative touch to her shoulder, and she jolted, going silent for a moment.

But she didn't push him away.

When Gord said nothing, she relaxed, then resumed her tears, holding Alphys's hand to her cheek, closing her eye and wishing she _was_ enough...

He then kept his hand on her shoulder, but she didn't pause, this time. She gritted her teeth, wishing she could punch _him_ , punch that other nurse, punch _herself..._

If it meant getting Alphys home and safe in her arms, again, she'd punch her own _brains_ out...

Instead, she wept.

“Captain,” Gord murmured, his voice thick with tears. “I'm serious. I wouldn't lie to you. I'm so sorry that this happened, but I _swear_ , we're gonna fix it, and--,”

“Stop,” she broke in sharply, and he went silent.

It took her a few tries, before she finally got it right. “I know. I just... _I hate this fucking world_... Alphy is... Alphy is too _good_ for it. I wish... I wish she could just have a goddamn _break_. I just..."

Her whole body shook, her tears almost violent, now. "I just want my Alphy to be happy and safe..."

“Me too,” he agreed. "Uh, save the 'my' part." He added an awkward little laugh, but it was appreciated no less. 

Undyne nodded again, going silent for another moment, her ears twitching every time she heard Gord sniffle, or the oxygen pump into Alphys's mask.

Then, Undyne whispered, “Please, call someone...? I... can't... do this alone.”

It killed her inside to admit it, but it was true. She needed help. If it had been herself, maybe she wouldn't of bothered to ask, too proud to.

But this was Alphys. And when it came to Alphys, Undyne would _never_ hesitate to get her the help she needed.

Pride didn't _matter_ , if Alphys was gone...

Gord nodded, looking almost relieved that he could help.

Undyne gave him her phone, and said, “Whoever called me last, or that I called, call them back, and tell them I n-need their-their h-help. I don't _care_ who!”

Her voice broke, and she swallowed hard. “Please...”

He left, and Undyne resumed her tears, barely noticing it when the other nurse left with Gord. 

Not long after, the doctor - Jean - came in, and Undyne moved back, her fear making her mute and skittish, too scared to leave Alphys alone, but too worried to stay in the way of the care Alphys needed.

The doctor was kind, and helped Undyne sit back down, before they explained, as they worked, how, with wounds to the lung, much easier it was for Alphys to be prone to infection and fever.

“Especially with her asthma,” they admitted. “She is still recovering from a collapsed lung, and someone tried to kill her by cutting the air from those lungs.”

Dr Jean looked disturbed, but added, “I think _he_ was trying to do that, too.”

Undyne covered her eyes, nodding. She closed her eye, her heart aching painfully, when she remembered that attack.

“What do I do?” she asked them, sitting back up. “What do I do, to make this better?”

With a kind smile, they told her. 

When help came, it was the best kind.

* * *

At first, Undyne was confused, when Mettaton walked in, and stopped right in the doorway, his eyes wide and his face falling.

Undyne blinked up at him, pausing; it was an hour later, and she'd been giving Alphys some water, to soothe her mouth as well as to hydrate her. When he came in, she lowered the cup and spoon, genuinely bemused by him.

"Mettaton?" she asked, her voice small.

He nodded, then walked over, his eyes on Alphys the entire time. Undyne pushed a chair toward him, and he sat down automatically, unable to speak.

Undyne watched him, confused, until he said, "Someone called me. A nurse. Said you needed help."

Undyne blushed a little, nodding; she hadn't expected it to be Mettaton, and it embarrassed her a little. But the longer she watched him, the more confused she got - at first. 

"A fever?" he asked, his voice almost as small as her own.

"Yeah," she agreed, leaning back and setting the water and spoon aside for now. "Can you...?" She stood up, and was trying to put the oxygen mask back on, but one of the tubes was caught. 

Mettaton stood up and gently unhooked it, and together, they got the mask back in place, and had tucked her back in.

Alphys didn't move or react, which was both good - and sad. 

Especially when Undyne began to understand Mettaton.

"What happened?" he asked her, sitting back down beside her.

Undyne grabbed Alphys's hand and told him, her voice breaking several times. But she also watched him, without him realising it, and the longer she spoke, the more she understood.

Alphys had always said that her friendship with him had been purely based on how they could benefit each other, and nothing more - until Frisk fell.

When Alphys had been locked out, she'd been terrified, so sure she would lose him. "If he'd died," she'd explained to Undyne, one afternoon, "I don't know _what_ I would have done. I already felt so awful, making him do that gross stuff..."

And indeed, when they'd had time, they managed to make up, and were closer than they ever had been. They were _real_ friends, now.

But something had slipped under Undyne's radar, even though she was unsurprised that Alphys hadn't known. The longer she looked at Mettaton, and the way _he_ looked at _Alphys_ , the more she realised that, when looking at him, she was looking at a _mirror_. 

It was that revelation that made Undyne not only relax, but soften toward him. If anything, she liked him even more, now, because she knew she could trust him. Despite his obvious feelings, Undyne knew he would never try anything, because he never had; he respected Undyne, too. 

And that made her affection grow for him - though she knew she wouldn't tease him any less, she knew better than to tease him about _this_.

"Undyne."

She looked up, and he stared at her, swallowing hard.

"Thank you," he finished, "for calling me."

She nodded. "I'm glad I did," she admitted.

When he hugged her, then, she didn't protest. Instead, she hugged back, just as fiercely, and though she was tempted to tease him, to try and cheer him up, she knew better, now. 

She knew _much_ better, now. 


	14. Chapter 14

It took two days, but with both the nursing staff, Undyne, and Mettaton, it felt quick.

Undyne especially felt it as a blur of energy, of time, of confused panic and anxious sweat, of stale coffee and sweaty hands, of phone calls, emails, letters to online blogs and news sites, tears on the phone-screen...

But it helped Alphys.

Even Dr Jean admitted that, with their help, Alphys was probably getting the best care in the entire hospital, and that was saying something. They'd had to turn people away, because too many people would be too crowded, but they still tried to help, anyway, in other ways (the entire room smelt like a garden).

And by the end of the second day, after being miraculously granted a few hours of real sleep, Undyne woke up, confused as to what woke her, until she heard it.

Alphys, murmuring something, then moving around, calling weakly for Undyne and sounding confused.

Undyne jolted awake, and helped her - alongside herself - calm down. She was silent for a long time, holding Alphys to her and closing her eye tight, being careful not to hurt Alphys, but needing to hold her as close as possible, all the same.

Alphys clung to her after that, her eyes wide and unfocused, her whole body trembling with hunger and pain. Returning to a body that was agony to inhabit was a shock to Alphys, and she had to mentally pull back a little, her mind blocking herself off from what was happening.

Especially when she tried to speak, and her words were weak wisps of themselves. Her neck was still bruised, but at least a little more healed, now.

The very first thing Alphys did, when she found strength to, was cry.

Undyne held her and rocked her through it, crying herself, but not enough to keep from brushing away Alphys's tears.

And for a while after, that was _all_ Alphys could do: cry, with pain, with confusion - and with fear. Her mind was spinning, her whole body shaking and shivering from the last wisps of fever, and she was having trouble focusing.

Nothing felt real to Alphys, yet, and it scared her.

After a moment that was solely their own, spent in almost silence, save each other's names, and soft whispers of love, Undyne finally remembered to call the nursing staff.

They didn't hesitate; the staff was still wary of internal attacks, taking every push of _that_ call button seriously. Both Gord and Dr Jean arrived, looking hopeful, and when their hopes were confirmed, they went right to work.

A lot needed to be done, too.

Alphys needed her medications changed, as well as her bedding; that would have to wait; now that she was awake, she could finally get clean, and they were waiting for that, first. She also had her brace adjusted, though the doctor admitted that she would only need it for another day or so, now: she'd "slept" through the worst of the healing.

They also asked her a lot of questions.

They asked for her full name, her age, her job, the full name of her fiancée, and the date. While she admitted that she didn't know the date, the rest she got right, which was a good sign.

Alphys didn't like it. She was still too raw and sensitive, too confused and disoriented, that she started to get anxious, even when they pulled the oxygen mask off for a bit to check her breathing.

But Undyne stayed with her, making sure she knew that Undyne was nearby, and would be at her side if she asked, no matter what. That helped Alphys relax a little, and for the rest of the adjustments, she held Undyne's hand, their fingers laced together.

Undyne watched her carefully, worried that Alphys would fall back asleep once she was settled - especially when she was given pain medication.

But that wasn't going to happen.

It was impossible.

Not after what Alphys had been through.

Her mind was wide awake.

* * *

Alphys had slept heavily that night, everything catching up to her, all at once.

She felt so... _tired_.

So sick of being tired, of feeling this way, this raw, vulnerable way. She knew she probably should stay awake, but once her neck was supported, she could breathe better, and when she managed that, they were able to give her pain meds.

Instead of fighting it, like she usually would've, like she had, before, she let her body rest, and it rewarded her for it.

 _Partially_.

When the sun was coming up, Alphys's dreams changed.

She began to see nightmarish images, visions that walked, the sounds around her falling flat to her hearing.

Reality merged with nightmare, and soon, Alphys was confused, unsure of what was going on, if what she was seeing was real, or if what she'd seen before now wasn't real...

For what felt like forever, Alphys felt like she was baking in the sun, against a rock coated in lava, her only water dripping down from far above her...

However, as time went on, those drops increased, soon forming rain. It felt like _heaven_ , her skin lapping up each drop like a sponge.

Soon, though, the rain became a _deluge_ , sheet rain spilling down upon her, flooding around her, until even the rock was buried...

It kept going, to the point that she felt herself float off of the rock, and drift in a shallow channel of it.

That hadn't been there, before. The second she left the rock, everything changed.

She managed to paddle her way through it, waiting for her feet to touch the ground. Instead of overbearing bright light, she was surrounded by grey shadow, trapped in what looked like a river of mercury...

But it didn't hurt her. The longer she paddled down it, her body still burnt but healing, she found the water starting to get... dirty?

No. Her hand landed on some of the “dirt”, only to discover that it was a piece of paper. She tried to grab it, but it dissolved into nothing.

When she looked ahead, she saw that, the further she went, the more papers there were.

It meant something, she realised, trying to paddle - then, when she finally could – shuffle, her way through the river of soggy papers. Every so often, she would try to grab one, but, depending on how far she was, they would either disintegrate, melt, or stick to her fingers in shreds, everything illegible.

She kept going, until she finally found a paper she could not only hold, but read.

It said, “ _human DT is to volatile for us, even that of chil”_

That was all she could read, before it melted, too.

It happened a few more times, still only getting sentence fragments, all of them about DT, or the Amalgamates, or even...

" _Coma patients use it to cling to life, awaken to cling to other lives, like..."_

_"It hurts me and I don't like it, I don't want it, but I must, before I..."_

_"survived, didn't melt, what is the difference..."_

_"didn't need to look for life I still have, ergo, didn't melt..."_

_"It feels combined, weird, like heartburn..."_

_"The flower is gone, but not lost..."_

_"i wish i were dead..."_

_"hoping they will smother me in my sleep..."_

_"have something they don't, they want, despite faring the same as..."_

They were answers, she realised, each one tangling around her legs before disappeared when she reached for them. The deeper she waded, the thicker the answers, like newspapers in floodwater, and she kept stopping to pick one up and try to keep it, or at least try to read more than mere fragments...

 _If I keep trying,_ she decided, _I'll find it all, bit by bit. And when I find it all, I can stop looking, and go back, and put it all together, then!_

It wasn't true; the further she went, the less likely she would remain safe, or be able to go back.

And she realised, quite suddenly, that she _needed_ to turn around, and risk going back to the rock – which might bring back the heat, turning all of this to steam, the kind she would choke on.

And yet, still, for a moment, she was torn. She knew she needed those answers, a solution for what had brought her here to begin with, and why DT was involved...

Until she remembered how angry, and devastated, Undyne had sounded, when she kicked Alphys's attacker...

 _She's scared,_ Alphys realised. _I don't want to scare her._

_This takes time; I can feel it. But there has to be a safer way._

_This can wait._

_This_ must _wait._

So, she turned back, and ran, as fast as she could, finding it easier and easier; the waters deepened and cleared, and it was far less effort to swim than to wade, or walk.

When she knew she had gone far enough, her feet, somehow, touched the very top of that rock. She closed her eyes, took a breath, and dove down toward it.

 _If I can touch it, again,_ she knew, innately, _I'll be right where I need to be..._

When her palms pressed against the cold, slippery surface of the rock, she felt a jolt go through her...

…and woke up, two days later, bemused and terrified. She still felt like she was still burning, but with _pain_ , and she whimpered sharply, then choked up with shock; even that small sound hurt her throat.

That was the sound that woke Undyne up.

That made her remember: Undyne had been scared, _so_ scared, when she'd fallen "asleep".

“Un... Undyne...” she rasped out, before she gasped and flinched, every single movement bringing her pain.

But when she was in Undyne's arms, she clung tight, her eyes wide and glassy with fear, fear that remained, even when the doctor helped her get comfortable, again.

When the drugs hit her blood, she was glad, but she stayed awake.

Because it was then that she remembered every single sentence fragment she'd found, and realised that she _had_ found the answer, after all, which was why she'd needed to leave right after.

Alphys had the right answer. She could feel it in her blood.

And that was why she was terrified.


	15. Chapter 15

“Alphy...”

Alphys knew that she'd heard that name, before, and heard herself be called by that name at least a thousand times by now (doubled, if she included sex).

And yet, for some reason, hearing it now made Alphys shudder and cling tighter onto Undyne, burying her face into her shoulder and keeping her eyes shut. It felt like it had more meaning than usual, like new, almost.

Undyne paused for a moment, then got up, leaving Alphys feeling rather cold and worried – until Undyne started to push her fold-out chair closer, again, and then position it in order to keep horizontal with Alphys. Undyne made sure they were parallel before she laid down, and when she did, she just relaxed, a deep sigh escaping her.

Alphys waited patiently, though she was amused by the idea of Undyne falling asleep, instead, and decided to prepare for that.

But just as she was, Undyne opened her eye and moved closer, so that she could lie a bit on Alphys's cot, but in a way that didn't take any space from her. Alphys smiled, closing her eyes for longer than a blink, only opening them, again, when Undyne touched her cheek, her other hand propping her head up.

Their eyes met again, and Alphys smiled wider, unable to help it. She could see how Undyne was, could see it in how she moved and spoke, and knew how deeply this entire thing had hurt Undyne. And yet, despite being aware of this, in addition to the depths of her own trauma, she was still happy to have Undyne beside her, and still found herself amazed by how lucky such a thing was, especially since it was the truth.

Alphys concentrated, then managed to move her hand up, the one free of an IV port, and touch Undyne's cheek with her fingers, her eyes closing again for a moment when she registered how soft it felt. When she opened them, Undyne was staring at her, her eye wide and wavering, her face pale and her lips pressed together. Alphys frowned, moving her fingers to trace the curve of her cheekbone, and her frown eased.

But Undyne's did not. Her eye shut tight, before she grabbed that hand, pulled it to her cheek, and buried her face into the palm of it. True, it was small, and could only cover perhaps a fourth of her face with it, but she tried, anyway.

It made Alphys laugh, the sound scratchy but real, and her eyes seemed to glint a little. Undyne raised her head, the sound shocking her, and Alphys smiled up at her. She wished her throat didn't hurt so much, but she still managed to say, coherently enough, a single word.

“Hi...”

Undyne's face fell, her whole body starting to tremble, before she lowered her head, again, pressing her face into the cot and holding Alphys's hand to her cheek, one that was heating up, either with a blush, or from tears.

Alphys gave her a moment, aware that, if she wanted to talk, the time was now, while her mind was still full of images and thoughts, ones she feared would vanish if she fell asleep, again.

Undyne did weep, but softly, and she was soothed when Alphys stroked her hair through it. She was unable to hold Undyne, but at least her hand worked, and it comforted them both.

Just as Alphys was about to try to speak, Undyne said, “I'm so sorry, Alphy.”

It confused Alphys, and made her forget what she wanted to say. “Wh...?” she murmured, shaking her head a little, before she winced – and rolled her eyes, embarrassed by her own idiocy. Of course that hurt, no matter how many drugs they gave her. It was just like the gunshot wounds; they still hurt, but she cared less about it, making it easier to ignore.

“I should've remembered,” Undyne explained, her eye darkening a little, lingering on Alphys's neck and snout. “That I didn't need medicine. That I wasn't supposed to have saline, let alone a sedative.”

Alphys frowned, again, her eyes narrowed. “Undyne,” she whispered, sounding like she'd lost her voice from a cold – still better than being mute, she decided. “What are you t-talking about?”

“He _drugged_ me,” Undyne blurted out.

Alphys felt a sinking in her belly, but before she could say anything, her fiancée went on. It was clear that she _needed_ to say this, and had been needing to say it for a while, now.

“Fuck,” Alphys had started to say, but was cut off.

“If I'd been smart, I would've never been drugged,” she said. “And I would've been awake, or at least myself once I was awake, and could've stopped him before he even restrained you!”

Alphys closed her mouth. She heard, in the edges of every word Undyne spoke, the slight cadence of someone defending herself – but _to herself._

“He... he _restrained_ you!” Undyne repeated, her eye unfocused and filling with tears. Alphys's hand slid free of her hair, but Undyne grabbed it and held it between both of her own. “I heard nothing, Alphy! But he... he still _touched_ you! He still touched you, tied you down, made you _helpless_! You were _dying_ , right beside me, and all I fucking did was snore, while you tried to take just one goddamned breath!!”

“Undyne,” Alphys tried, digging one of her claws into Undyne's palm.

 _“No!”_ Undyne cried, shaking her head. “No, Alphys! I fucked up, I completely fucked up, and it almost cost you your life!”

“Undyne--,”

“All I did was _sleep_!” Undyne cried, her voice growing louder – and more pained. “I slept, or I was too slow, or I was too stupid!” Her eye, bright and wild with pain, darted between Alphys’s.

Alphys wished she knew what Undyne was looking for when she did that.

But then, she said the one thing that broke both of their hearts.

 _“I can't be your wife, Alphy!”_ she then cried, her voice breaking.

Alphys jolted at that, her eyes flaring with both pain and shock. They filled with tears, hurt flooding through her entire body, a kind of hurt that made the pain of her wounds feel like mere papercuts. She tried to calm down, but when she inhaled, it was shaky, and her tears slid free. She tried to shut up, clenching her teeth shut, but she still made a sound, anyway, when she tried to exhale.

Even restrained, the sound she made was what that hurt sounded like. She looked away, mortified, and pulled her hand from Undyne's, using it to cover her eyes, so that she didn't have to see, anymore.

_Why look at what you want to keep, but are about to lose...?_

And truly, Undyne was about to say _it_.

But that was before she heard Alphys make that sound.

When Alphys took her hand back, the overhead light, despite being dim, still touched the band on that hand, making it sparkle for a moment – before it, too, was hidden.

Undyne didn't want to say any of this. She still wanted to marry Alphys, still wanted to be with her, forever. She was only offering it to her because she felt guilty, and hated herself for what she thought was her failure to be a proper partner.

But when Alphys made that noise, and covered her eyes, clearly trying to curl up and hide, but too sore to be able to, Undyne's voice gave out.

Because she realised, with that sound, how _wrong_ that was, and how cruel she was being, not just to herself, but to the one she felt she'd failed.

By saying that, Undyne had definitely hurt herself, the original intent, because she no longer felt worthy enough to marry Alphys, anymore.

But Alphys had clearly felt the exact same type of guilt, the assumption that everything that had gone wrong was _her_ fault, not Undyne's, and didn't want Undyne to leave her.

Now, instead, they were both brokenhearted, and no one was happy. Neither wanted what they now had, and, especially for Alphys, it was _agony_.

Undyne realised her mistake, and quickly, she got up, shoving the chair aside.

It got Alphys's attention, who'd been waiting for Undyne to leave, so that she could finally sob, and she turned to look, just as Undyne sank down to her knees, her eye going between Alphys's.

Undyne was in tears, now, and shaking her head. She reached up, holding her hands out for Alphys to take.

“Please,” she cried, pressing the backs of her hands onto the cot. “Please...? _Please_...?!”

Alphys was frozen, her hands in her lap. She'd turned back, flinching a little, but when she understood what she saw, she went completely still, as though spooked.

“But, you said...” Alphys murmured, feeling dizzy and sick, like everything was crashing into her, one after the other, and with no space between. “You... c-can't... so why...?”

Her voice dropped off, her eyes closing at the same time, and again, though she managed to cover her mouth, this time, the sound she made was one they both felt and heard.

“I can't, because I’m not... I-I’m not...” Undyne's eye closed, and she gritted her teeth, feeling herself begin to tremble. “…I c-can't even... protect you... in a _fucking hospital!!”_

The words were said between sobs, gasps of breath that she felt guilty for taking, as if stealing more air away from Alphys, like she'd let that horrible bastard steal from Alphys...

Alphys touched the top of her head, then, her palm pressed right over the crown.

Undyne froze in place, keeping her eye shut and her head lowered, her hands still up and out and begging...

“Please...”

Alphys said it, this time, her voice tiny and weak.

It struck Undyne deeply, right into her heart, and she raised her head, looking up. Alphys stared at her, her hand sliding down to Undyne's cheek, and immediately, Undyne grabbed it and pressed it in place.

"I-I know... th-things are h-hard, right now..." she admitted, sniffling. "But... I want you to... I _don't_ want you to... I..." 

“You... you want me to... stay?” Undyne whispered, her face so scared and confused that Alphys closed her eyes for a moment.

Now, Alphys understood what Undyne was doing, and why she was so thrown by what Alphys was doing.

“Undyne,” Alphys answered, as loudly as she could. “I still want you to be my wife.”

It was an answer to both questions, and it was the one Undyne had begged for – and was so overjoyed to receive.

“You _do_...?” Undyne whispered, barely believing it.

Alphys knew it, and it hurt to see, so much so that when she started talking, she couldn't stop. “Undyne, please...? I... I know you didn't mean to sleep, especially since you'd had no choice. H-how the hell could you possibly know ahead of time the inclinations of someone else, especially someone you don't know, and one that has been anything but harmful up to that harmful point?! _How_ \--?”

She choked, and for a moment, she couldn't breathe, her eyes shutting and her body lying back, her other hand reaching up and touching the brace around her neck, tugging on it a little. In those seconds, she felt close to panicking, and she pulled her hand away from Undyne's, using it to look for her puffer, completely confused and panicked.

Undyne scrambled to her feet when she recognised what was going on, and gently, through habit and love, managed to calm Alphys down. She took hold of both of her hands, holding them still, before she gently tapped on the oxygen mask, several times, until Alphys understood, and tried to breathe, again, able to focus this time, thanks to that. She remained still, and breathed, and soon felt her lungs clear up and relax, again.

During that time, Undyne was quiet and just as still, slowly realising what she had just done, and what it meant, especially when held against her own protests and fears.

Undyne needed Alphys. Alphys also needed Undyne.

Therefore, once Alphys was calm, again, Undyne kept close, moving the chair back and lying down beside her, again. Alphys watched her, her eyes grateful and her smile real, and when they held hands, both smiled, feeling it at the same time, and feeling the same relieved joy.

All was forgiven, and nothing more about it needed to be said.

About that, yes - but not completely.


	16. Chapter 16

Undyne and Alphys were quiet after that, both feeling exhausted, by then. They cuddled as best as they could, and though Undyne assumed that Alphys had already, she herself was unable to sleep.

Every sound made her jump, even if she knew and even saw what it was. Whenever her eye drifted closed, it snapped open, again, jolting her back awake, and scared.

But when she jumped so hard that it made Alphys jump, too, Undyne realised that Alphys wasn't asleep at all. When she looked down at her, Alphys was looking up toward her, her eyes faded and underscored with dark circles.

“Hey,” Undyne whispered, reaching down and stroking Alphys's head, her fingertips trailing over her smooth skin. “Why're you awake?”

Alphys bit her lip, not wanting to admit it. Undyne frowned, peering at her, and Alphys swallowed, unable to keep it in. “I can't sleep.”

When Undyne looked perplexed, Alphys nodded, agreeing with her. She knew that she needed sleep, and probably could sleep, if she tried. But she didn't try. She didn't want to try. She didn't want to sleep.

Not yet. Not while her mind was so busy, parsing through itself over and over again, getting closer and closer each time she did, which explained her silence.

“Why not?” Undyne asked, startling Alphys.

Then, Alphys blinked, surprised by herself. She _hadn't_ told Undyne?

No, of course not. Where was the time for it?

Alphys shifted a little, her eyes darting around nervously, before she looked back up at Undyne. She suddenly realised how badly she needed to tell her this, especially now.

But that was when Mettaton came in, running into the room looking like he'd been thrown in by someone.

“Alphys!” he cried, his face lighting up. “You really _are_ awake!”

Alphys looked up at him, surprised, and Undyne blushed, feeling a bit guilty for not texting him.

But, again, where was the time? Between now, and Alphys waking up, it had been too busy – then quiet, one that was needed – to even remember that, let alone do it.

To his credit, Mettaton wasn't angry with Undyne. When he saw her expression, and saw the way she was with Alphys, the anger was impossible, and pointless. Thus, the second he got to them, he hugged them both, with a gentleness that neither had known he could possess.

“I'm _so_ glad you're awake,” he whispered. “I was so scared, and the nurses were _not_ helpful.”

Alphys tried to hug him back as best as possible, but because it was her IVed hand, she only managed to touch his arm and squeeze it; her other hand was held by Undyne – her left.

“Sorry,” she whispered, her voice tiny.

“No, shut up, darling,” Mettaton answered, his tone sharp but his face calm. “Why on earth and below would you apologise?!”

Alphys was about to answer, but surprisingly, Undyne did it for her. “She feels responsible for this, for all of this, and thinks she earned it.”

Silence fell over them at that. Alphys paled, but her eyes looked guilty, and when she looked away, she pulled her hands back and placed them at her chest.

Both were waiting for her to protest, to correct Undyne, but, sadly, both also knew better than to expect it.

“Alphys,” Mettaton said, moving to sit at her other side, so that Undyne didn't have to move – and so that Alphys had to look up at him, which she did. “I was there, remember? I know how hard you worked, and how much agony it brought you.”

The words hurt Alphys, but he had no way of knowing they would. They hurt, because even though she'd confessed to a great deal, owned up to a myriad of mistakes, there was _one_ lie she had never told anyone, and one she was surprised that no one had even figured it out, yet.

 _Especially now, after all of_ that _,_ she realised, her throat and stomach aching, as if to remind her. _How have they not figured it out, yet? Isn't it_ obvious _,_ _now...?_

It kept her silent – but it made her cry.

Because of it, the urgency to tell Undyne, the excitement of perhaps finding an answer, vanished.

If she revealed this possible clue, she had to reveal the _entire_ truth, and she was terrified that doing so would drive _everyone_ away, this time.

And for good.

It was a poor decision to make, but she did indeed make it; there was, to her, no other course of action that she could possibly take.

So, she said absolutely nothing – but cried like she had.

It was shocking, because of course neither Undyne nor Mettaton knew the extent of why she was crying, and yet Alphys cried like they did.

And it was not a gentle weep. It was violent, one that wrenched her body and flooded her eyes and nose, fogging the oxygen mask and forcing her to cough a bit on it.

When that happened, she started to choke, panic and grief muzzling her and making her start to drown in it, it got serious.

Both Undyne and Mettaton kept close to her, trying to hold her, to pull her hands free of her chest, to try and dry those never-ending tears from her cheeks, but either couldn't manage it for long, or she wouldn't let them, fighting them at each turn.

Alphys fought them, not because she didn't want their comfort, but because she felt that she didn't deserve it, any of it, and least of all from Undyne, whom she felt she'd hurt the most.

When she started to choke, however, Undyne panicked, and mashed the call button, at the same time calling out, “Hey, you two! _Hey!_ Go get help!” to the security guards outside of the room. One did, while the other stayed to keep watch.

When Alphys realised, in an almost detached way, that she was passing out, she _did_ try to fight it, even though she knew she had nothing she wanted to say, anymore.

But fighting it only made it worse, and by the time the nurses got there, Alphys had already passed out.

From there, it was a flurry of panic, one that Undyne tried to navigate but ended up being pushed aside, unable to help when she felt she needed to.

Mettaton noticed, and went to her side, hugging her.

She almost slapped him for it; she was so wound up, so vulnerable and fragile, that she didn't want to be touched. Especially when all she could hear was Alphys's suffering: her choking coughs, her heavy breaths, her raspy, unconscious mewls of pain...

But Mettaton wasn't hugging Undyne for _her_ sake. He was hugging her for _his own._

He was scared, too.

Undyne closed her eye, then hugged back, gingerly at first, before her own heart started to weight her down, and she clung to him tight, starting to cry, herself – but softly, quietly.

It surprised Mettaton, as he was so used to a hard, loud Undyne. But really, given their circumstances, and the trauma of what Undyne had already witnessed, would make _anyone_ cry, even the strongest ones.

Additionally, Mettaton _couldn't_ cry. So when he held someone who was, during times that would have made him cry if he could, it felt almost like he was able to cry, or at least the closest he could get, through shared, empathetic pain.

Undyne didn't let go through it all, unable to watch the nurses work around Alphys. She did not like how clinical and detached they were, when she knew Alphys deserved gentleness, and kindness.

Even if Alphys, herself, disagreed.

"She's okay," a voice said, startling them both, and they broke apart, both turning and going back over.

Alphys _was_ okay; she was settled, her face cleaned and a new mask in place, and her meds were refreshed while the two nurses watched her react to them. When her breaths slowed, and she was comfortable, was when they called over. 

Undyne sat back down in her chair, one that was more chair than bed, now, and took Alphys's hand back into her own. It twitched, her fingertips cold but her palm warm, before it relaxed, and Undyne leaned down and kissed it, relief flooding through her.

"What happened?" Mettaton asked one of the nurses. 

"Panic attack," he admitted. "She's okay, now. It won't hurt her. She just needs to be calm and still, and sleep." He sighed. "She's had a rough time. She deserves calm."

Undyne looked up, but Mettaton beat her to it. "What's your name?" 

He went pink, but answered, "Rawshaun. And she's Dini."

Both Undyne and Mettaton blinked, eyeing her closely, and wondering if this was a joke or not; after all, they did sometimes pick up human TV signals Underground.

Dini sighed. "Yes, it's true, and yes, my parents were fans."

"Thank you," Undyne whispered, offering her a weak smile. 

Mettaton hesitated, then blurted out, "Are you _seriously_ named _Dini?"_

She stared back. "My middle name is _Petty_."

Undyne snorted, surprising everyone, including herself, and she blushed, but she didn't apologise. "Your parents were kinda mean?"

"Oh, no, they adore me," Dini replied easily, taking her plastic gloves off and tossing them in the dust bin. "I'm serious: they named me out of love. It's the only reason why I won't change it."

For some reason, this strange thing calmed Undyne even further, and she lowered her head back down to Alphys's hand. 

"Captain," Rawshaun added, "you can and should stay here overnight. Do you want fresh sheets?"

She looked up again, then nodded gratefully. 

After that, the only thing to be done was to sleep, or watch Alphys sleep.

Once she was alone, that was exactly how Undyne spent the night: alternating between both. 


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I edited this while depressed, so if it's a shitty chapter, that's why, and I'm sorry. Please tell me how I can fix it, if it is shitty. Thanks.

For a few days after that, while Alphys recovered, there were no other issues - or attacks - that came up after that. The only exception was when Alphys got worked up over something, and her breathing would get too strained.

But with more time, and with her cooperation with the staff, Alphys did heal.

The day before the barrier anniversary, Alphys's doctor walked into the room that morning, just as she – and Undyne – were finishing up their breakfast.

When they saw that the doctor was smiling, both sat up.

Dr Jean stopped, and said, “It's good news.”

They both relaxed, and Undyne resumed eating, but Alphys did not, instead more curious about the news.

Dr Jean could tell. “Your last X-ray looked good, Alphys, for both your neck and your wounds. There are no visible internal issues, and despite your step back,” and here, they paused, looking over the chart, again. “Despite _that_ , you're healing at a fantastic rate.”

Alphys felt herself pale, her eyes going nervously to Undyne, who was indeed now looking up, again, her mouth full of bagel. Alphys noticed, and quickly cut in, before Undyne finished.

“Well, th-the staff here is good, and I also had...” Alphys paused, smiling genuinely, when she looked back at Undyne. “I also had the best nurse.” She blinked, then looked back at Jean. “Uh, not that the nurses _here_ are bad, I m-mean, _one_ was, but--,”

“Alphy,” Undyne broke in, touching her hand. It was shaking, and Alphys was pale, again, her eyes flicking about, as though certain she was being watched.

Alphys shut her eyes and swallowed hard, trying to mask her shaking. She couldn't help it; she was nervous.

 _What if they see it?_ she thought, the spoon in her hand tapping against the side of her bowl of oatmeal. _What if there's an anomaly in my tests, something alien and strange and—_

“Well, to be fair, that can actually be a very effective help: a loved one beside you, almost at all times,” Jean admitted, smiling at Undyne. “Though I do express deep regret for what happened to you, Doctor. I don't want it, but I do understand if you press charges against this hospital.”

Alphys gaped at them for a moment, too surprised by the unexpected answer that she was speechless. “No,” she blurted out. “Not _you_ , just that one guy. Please.”

Undyne frowned, but Jean looked relieved. “Thank you, Doctor. Now, what this means is that, once we do a final round of blood and urine work, and get you set up with some prescriptions, you can leave.”

Now, Alphys was speechless for _that_ reason. She didn't believe it. She was a doctor, herself, and knew how long it takes for her kind of injuries to heal, and knew that two gunshot wounds don't heal _that_ fast.

Plus, her neck was almost fully healed; there were only slight curves of greenish bruising left. Something she also knew wasn't normal.

“She can?” Undyne said, sitting up completely, now. Her face was carefully neutral, certain that she'd misheard, and wanted to be prepared for that disappointment.

“Yes,” Jean agreed, proving her wrong. “We were thinking..." They paused, looking back at their notes. "...no later than after supper. But that's only if we're very busy. Is that okay?”

Alphys nodded

Undyne grinned, “Fuck yeah!” she agreed. “Thank you, doc!”

Jean smiled. “My pleasure. I'll send Gord in for fluids; here's a urine kit. He's also going to refresh your meds for the trip home, but only once you're back and settled, and not alone.”

“I trust him,” Alphys protested.

“I do, too. But I want no accidents,” Jean replied.

They nodded, gave Undyne the kit, and left, smiling once before vanishing around the corner.

Alphys sighed in relief, but luckily, when Undyne saw it, she misunderstood the reason why.

“You've been really fucking brave, Alphy,” Undyne told her, touching her hand. Alphys laid it flat, and their fingers entwined. “I know it's be _awful_ here.”

Alphys wanted to agree, but the truth was that she kind of _didn't_ agree. It _was_ awful, being in a hospital for so long, and the reason why was even worse. Without the added fear of that homicidal nurse, Alphys hadn't really minded it at all.

But if she didn't agree, she would have to explain why she sighed, and she couldn't do that, yet.

So she nodded, squeezing Undyne's hand, and replied, “It wasn't great, no. But...”

 _Now_ she could be honest. “I'm forever grateful to you, Undyne. For being here, too. For spending as much time as possible with me. For... f-for...”

Undyne blinked, but Alphys looked away, just as her eyes filled with tears.

“For putting up with seeing all of this bad shit,” she continued, her voice thick. “And being forced to see what no one should _ever_ have to see...”

Undyne moved closer, and gently took hold of Alphys's face, pulling her back toward herself. Alphys stared up at her, looking miserable, and Undyne kissed her nose, lightly. It brought a small light to her eyes, so Undyne replied.

“I'm not saying I _enjoyed_ this,” Undyne said, needlessly, really, “but I'm glad I was here while this was happening. If I hadn't been, who knows what could've happened?”

At the same time, they imagined it, and both shuddered, neither liking the obvious answer.

“Yes,” Alphys agreed, happier, still, that she could be truthful.

“Good morning,” a voice called, before popping up from behind the curtain. It was Gord, holding a blood kit.

“Sorry,” he added, once he realised they recognised it.

Alphys shrugged. “If it's what I need to do to be out of here, whatever,” she decided.

“Good plan,” he agreed. He then suggested that, once he was done, they should go head and do the urine kit, and hand it in. Once that was done, he said to page him, and he'll bring Alphys's last few doses of meds.

It was easy enough, and by the time Alphys was blissfully painless and rather idiotic about it, both kits were done, and it was almost time for their results.

Undyne realised she would kind of miss these moments, and decided to take full advantage of Alphys in this state – kind of; she'd rediscover it later on by surprise, when the prescriptions worked the same way.

Once Alphys whispered, “Mm, thank you,” like she always did once her painkillers kicked in, Undyne knew now was the time.

“Alphy,” Undyne murmured, sitting beside her but while lying halfway onto the cot beside her. Alphys's eyes lit up, then her face did, and she nodded, her eyes searching Undyne's face sleepily and happily.

“Mm?” she replied.

Undyne smiled at her, feeling a kind of jittery feeling in her belly, one she seemed to always get whenever Alphys looked at her like that.

Which didn't exactly make matters easier.

“Alphy, when we get home, what would--?”

“Shower,” Alphys broke in, the second she understood the question.

Undyne laughed, in turn making Alphys grin happily, her goal complete. She was being serious, which was probably why Undyne enjoyed it so much.

“Fair point,” Undyne agreed, once she could. “Oh, wait, Alphy,” she then added, her expression falling a bit. “Your stitches."”

Alphys nodded. “Mmhm,” she agreed, “which is why they're gonna give me special bandages, for water. They know I need it, too.”

Undyne's mind unhelpfully went to the last time they'd shared a shower, and she went pink, suddenly tongue-tied.

But Alphys knew her well, by now, and proved in one sentence why she was the only one for Undyne. “I as-asked about _that_ , t-too, and they said yes, but n-no pressure on the injured pl-places, and go slow.”

Undyne went bright red, and when she looked back at Alphys, her fiancée wore a sly, knowing smile, her own face pink.

“Alphy, I _love_ you,” Undyne confessed, shifting closer to her and placing a hand upon Alphys's chest, one Alphys, herself, moved it right over her heart.

When Alphys was about to say it, back, Undyne realised that she didn't need to hear it, and she leaned down and kissed her lips, silencing her – and answering her unasked question, too.

Now, both were desperate to get home, looking forward to it for many reasons, now.

But they still had one more hurdle to overcome, before they were allowed to enjoy any moments of peace.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, depressed, shit, blahblahblah.

When they were finally given the green light to go, and Alphys had washed herself as best as she could and put on her own clothes, they made a plan for the trip home – only to change it, without even wanting to.

Dr Jean was cheerful when they explained the final test results – “normal”, with some exceptions that came with her injuries. They were confident that, with at least two weeks off for medical leave, Alphys would reach a full recovery.

“However,” they added, while Alphys held a cotton ball over her hand, where her IV had been, “there are some things that could happen, during that recovery. The likelihood is very slim, but as your doctor, I need to tell you what you have every right to know.”

This was interesting, because Alphys, herself, was a doctor, and she knew how often doctors had to hold back information, for whatever reason. To hear this honesty was refreshing – and especially made her reconsider her own methods.

“If you end up having an asthma attack, depending on the severity, your lung might collapse, again, and you will need to come back here,” Jean said, their tone sombre. “Don't be a hero, Doctor. If you feel it happening, get help. Call an ambulance.”

Alphys nodded, and Undyne moved closer to her. They were both sitting up on the cot, now, and Undyne wrapped her arm around Alphys's shoulder, her other hand on Alphys's knee. Very comforting, indeed.

“Additionally, if you show any signs of fever, again, or if there is strange swelling or discharge around your injuries, again: _don't be a hero_ , and come back here, right away,” Jean continued, reading over the file in their hands.

Undyne took that pause as a chance to speak. “What about pain? Or changing the bandages?”

“I'll teach you the bandage-stuff,” Alphys answered.

“And I’m sending Alphys home with some medications that will help with her pain,” Jean told Undyne. She nodded.

Alphys was about to speak up, but fell silent, feeling nervous. Jean looked like they were re-reading whatever they saw on that chart, and she was terrified it would show what she wanted to hide.

But all Jean concluded with was, “Stay off your feet, Alphys. If you need something, ask for help. You should not be walking around too much while you recover, even if you feel like you're fine. Use a cane if you have to.”

Their eyes went to Undyne. “Is that alright with you?”

Undyne blinked, confused. “Yeah, why wouldn't it be?”

“If you were unable to, or need to go back to work before Alphys does, I was going to give you a list of numbers for in-home hospice care,” Jean replied.

“No,” Undyne answered. “I already talked to Toriel, and she said I can stay home with Alphy, on sick leave.”

Jean smiled, closing the file. “Alright then. I guess you're both set. Do you need a taxi, or...?”

“Nah, just the scripts,” Undyne replied. “Oh, and a chair, so Alphy doesn't need to walk.”

Alphys blushed a little, but was actually rather grateful for this, and nodded.

“Papyrus is driving us home,” Undyne added. “He insisted.”

Alphys smiled, feeling rather touched. That was like him. Either it was an excuse to drive, or a favour to Undyne, or just because he cared, but Alphys took it.

There was some time spent after that cleaning up and making sure they had everything, as well as wait for the wheelchair and medication list. Both came at once, and, with their bags in Alphys's lap and Undyne at the handles, they were out of there.

Alphys rather enjoyed the feel of air brushing past her, as Undyne pushed rather fast and happily, and she closed her eyes, burying her face into the bags like a pillow, enjoying the happy sounds Undyne made.

She dozed like that while they waited for her medications, and still when they went toward the main exit. But the second they were outside and in _fresh_ air, despite its chill, it felt wonderful, and it woke her up.

Alphys raised her head, and Undyne grinned, parking the wheelchair and swinging around to face her, kneeling down and placing her hands on Alphys's knees.

When Alphys smiled, unable to help it - Undyne's excitement was endearing, and adorable - Undyne lit up even more, and darted up to kiss Alphys, her hands holding her face so gently, yet firm enough for Alphys to feel comforted and safe. She returned it immediately, making a small, hungry noise, one she blushed from, but one that also made Undyne shiver, her fingers digging into Alphys's cheeks a little.

There was the sound of loud, hyper music, then, from afar, just hitting their hearing, and when they broke apart to look, Papyrus had already swung his car into the pick-up lane and rolled down the windows.

But when that happened, Undyne blinked, confused; sans was in the passenger seat, when they'd agreed that Alphys would have the back seat to herself, to lie down in.

“change of plans,” sans said, in his way of greeting.

“Why?” Undyne wondered, her eye going to Papyrus, instead.

He noticed, and looked a little ashamed, before answering. “THERE HAVE BEEN... TALKS. OF TODAY. ONLINE, AMONGST... RUDE PEOPLE...”

sans nodded. “i thought you were keeping up with everything.”

Undyne sighed, then turned and grabbed the bags from Alphys's lap, not answering.

The truth was that she _had_ been, but after a while, they'd all begun to blur together. Any time she had to spare, she'd spent on her phone, trying to correct opinions and issue formal statements about the woman she wanted to marry.

The amount of hatred, vindictive and cruel, had started to get to Undyne, and finally, just yesterday, she gave up. She'd spent an hour on the phone, in tears and arguing over what was the truth and what wasn't, and it broke her.

When Alphys realised what she'd been doing, she was horrified, and made her promise not to do it, anymore. Undyne did, and kept it, and honestly had been feeling a bit better, and less afraid.

Ignorance was bliss.

When she had everything packed, Undyne leaned down and knelt in front of Alphys, who was already watching her, her eyes dark with a kind of haze to them that only a drug could bring. But she was smiling, and her tail swayed, just a little.

“I'll pick you up,” Undyne said, her hands back on Alphys's knees. “Wrap your arms around my neck, okay? On three.”

Alphys did, and on three, found herself weightless and in the air. She clung to Undyne, the feeling both enjoyable and nerve-wracking, and Undyne chuckled softly, a sound Alphys heard best when she pressed her cheek against Undyne's chest.

Suddenly, in that moment, both felt the same thing, and both looked at each other at the same time.

Alphys was bright red, her tail swaying, again, especially when their eyes met. She reached up and touched Undyne's cheek, and Undyne leaned into it, gathering her closer and closing her eye, her cheek starting to burn beneath Alphys's palm.

“uh,” sans then called, startling them both. “you gotta be _in_ the car to get a ride.”

Undyne sneered at him, but she also moved to do just that. She settled Alphys in the middle seat, then, after she returned the wheelchair, she sat down beside her. Alphys was already leaning toward her when Undyne opened her arms, and after both were safely buckled in, as well as settled, Papyrus started to drive.

“So... what was it?” Undyne asked, one arm around Alphys.

Alphys snuggled right into her side and closed her eyes, and they held hands, Alphys holding Undyne's against her chest, relaxing with a deep sigh. She didn't really listen to what was being said, because for days, she'd been touch-starved. Undyne had tried, as best as she could, but it wasn't enough. This was the first time Alphys felt that emptiness start to fill up, and she embraced it, like Undyne embraced her.

Therefore, she didn't hear what they said, save one or two words from Undyne, heard from deep inside her chest, again. And none of the words alarmed her.

“well, some douchebag went on one of those talk shows, down in the big city, and declared that they would find a way to...” sans frowned. “my memory is shit, bro. help.”

“TO RUN YOU OFF THE ROAD,” Papyrus finished, and sans nodded. “HE SAID HE WOULD LOOK FOR WHATEVER CAR YOU WENT INTO, AND HE'D CHASE YOU INTO A DITCH.”

“Holy shit, what an _asshole_!” Undyne cried, holding Alphys closer. “And nobody did anything about it? They just let him walk?!”

“he got thrown off the set,” sans agreed. “and when another station interviewed him, he said he would stake out the hospital every day. he was serious, captain.”

Undyne frowned, suddenly wondering if she'd seen anyone watching her and Alphys, or if they were being tailed by a car she'd possibly seen there at the hospital, first.

“WE TOLD SECURITY,” Papyrus said, hoping to calm her. “JUST AS A PRECAUTION. AND THEY KNOW HIS FACE AND VOICE. THEY'VE BEEN WATCHING FOR HIM.”

“let's just hope he got bored and gave up,” sans said. “but just in case, frisk asked me to tag along. also, captain, keep the doc as close and away from windows as possible, okay?”

“But you just said there was nothing to worry about--,” Undyne protested.

“and it's still kinda true. but you know who else said everything was safe?” sans wondered. “the nursing staff.”

Undyne fell silent after that, fear uncoiling from within her gut and slithering around it, making her feel sick. She leaned down, pulled Alphys's hood over her head – Alphys purred, and cuddled closer, before dozing off, again – and looked out the window, her eye sharp and looking everywhere.

But not sharp enough.


	19. Chapter 19

They weren't run off the road.

Undyne expected them to be, so certain that her luck was that bad. After all, _that_ nurse had passed through without anyone knowing.

_What was one car?_

But the trip home was actually rather pleasant. They'd made sure to keep their departure time as private as possible, and it seemed to be working, as the whole area around the hospital was rather quiet, even at night.

Alphys paid it no attention; she was down and out, sleeping heavily in Undyne's arms, the best sleep she'd had all week, and she would wake up with a neck ache, too.

So when Papyrus stopped the car in the driveway of their apartment complex, Undyne was genuinely confused. And so was Papyrus, who looked at her the same way she looked at him.

“This is good, right?” Undyne said, noticing that neither brother moved to get out of the car. “Can we go in?”

“no,” sans answered. “that bad feeling is still here. something _is_ wrong.”

“I'LL GO OUT FIRST,” Papyrus said. He expected sans to argue, but he didn't, and Papyrus was so pleased that he patted sans's hand – which made sans look away, hiding his face in his parka collar.

Papyrus got out, and everyone could feel him summon his magic, even Alphys; it woke her up, and when she realised where she was, she was immediately wide awake, her face lighting up - even as her neck twinged with a sharp ache.

“H-home!” Alphys cried, sliding to the other side of the car and toward the door, faster than Undyne could catch her.

“Alphy!” Undyne called after her, quickly following her. “Alphy, wait, get down--!”

Undyne had caught up with Alphys, as Alphys wasn't fast once she was on her feet. Undyne easily pulled her close and picked her up, then hurriedly ducked back into the backseat. Alphys was shaking, because the sudden movement had jarred her injuries, and her breaths were high and ragged with pain. She went heavy in Undyne's arms, again, but it was completely different.

However, before she could panic, Alphys croaked out, “L-lie down o-on the seat, out of s-sight!”

Clearly, she had easily caught on to the problem.

Undyne did, shielding Alphys completely and staying still. Alphys clung to her, trembling with pain and fear, and Undyne held her with one arm, kissing her every so often, but in silence – save Alphys's pained breaths.

But nothing happened.

When sans opened the door and walked out, there was no response to it.

“Hold onto me,” Undyne whispered. Alphys pulled her hood over her head, did the same for Undyne, and slipped her arms around Undyne's neck.

When she nodded, Undyne opened the door and jumped out, lunging right for the front door so fast that it made her eye sting; the air was cold, and too much of it hurt. Papyrus had already walked ahead and unlocked the front doors, and he opened it, just as Undyne leapt in, and walked quickly through them and into the lobby. Papyrus followed her, and Undyne focused on keeping away from glass doors or windows, holding Alphys tight.

She didn't let go, even when they were safely through and in the elevator.

Again, nothing happened.

They heard nothing, save Alphys's breathing and the elevator's chimes, and saw nothing, save each other's faces, sharing similar expressions of paranoia and fear.

Nobody said a word the entire time they walked down the hallway, either. Papyrus took Undyne's key, let them all in, and shut it. 

sans reached up after him and locked it, his hand lingering upon it.

Then, collectively, all four relaxed.

“Fuck,” Undyne whispered, her eye wide and blind. She hadn't expected how badly she would handle this, and felt awful for losing control of her own composure.

Especially when Alphys squirmed in her arms for a moment, before rasping out, “Please, you're h-holding... too tight...!”

Undyne let go, and Alphys slid back down to her feet. But she also didn't let go of Undyne; she buried her face into Undyne's front and closed her eyes, shivering. Undyne hugged her, again, but gently.

Once more, there was a silence.

Then, “okay. cool. we were totally wrong, and the guy's a wuss, after all,” sans concluded, shrugging and looking up at Papyrus a little helplessly.

Undyne slid down to her knees in front of Alphys and hugged her properly, then. It was something Alphys needed desperately, too, and she fell into.

It was better than the one before; Undyne's adrenaline had finally quit, and she was fully present. Alphys felt it, and her hold tightened, relieved to have her back.

Both brothers exchanged the same glance when they saw that, and Papyrus said, “WOULD YOU LIKE SOME HELP FOR A WHILE, AS YOU GET SETTLED?”

“Uh, yeah,” Undyne agreed, her voice hoarse. “Can you bring our bags in? I forgot completely, and mine has Alphy's meds in them.”

Alphys opened her eyes with surprise, looking up at Undyne in confirmation.

Undyne smiled gently, placing a hand to her beloved's cheek. "I'm sorry. I know you're hurting,” she murmured, as both brothers went back outside. “And I know I kinda caused it, with my grab-and-go.”

Alphys smiled, then, a smile that was smaller than normal, but bigger than any smile she'd had since that first email. She touched Undyne's face with both hands, her eyes searching Undyne's face closely.

“Yes,” Alphys then agreed, sliding her fingers through Undyne's hair and pushing it out of her face; Undyne had cared less and less about it as the days wore on, and it showed.

“But I’m safe,” Alphys added. “A little pain is part of life, after all, and if it benefits me, even better. Especially with _you_ \--,”

Undyne shut her up with a kiss, unable to hold back, anymore. Alphys's voice, her kindness and care, her fingers so soft and light in her messy, greasy hair, while _she_ was the one who was hunched over in pain, her face a little worn down, alongside it...

It reminded her of that first night, when Alphys had tried to comfort Undyne, even while the blood on her clothes still dried.

That did it; Undyne  _had_ to kiss Alphys, again.

There had been dozens of kisses – and a few urgent touches – during the time spent in the hospital, but this was different.

This meant more.

This was with full attention to the act, and the second Alphys began to respond – and return – her desperate affection, Undyne's shields crumbled to dust. She cried out, her only way to express it, without pausing in their kiss, and her eyes filled with tears.

The best part was when Alphys sniffled and moved closer, anyway, her arms going around Undyne's neck. It helped Undyne grab hold of Alphys, better, and it made both growl softly when she did. Alphys shivered - and made a sound of her own, just as desperate.

Alphys also couldn't help herself, and refused to. Undyne's kisses deepened, her fingers digging into Alphys's back, and Alphys's eyes closed, so glad that Undyne was holding her - otherwise, she would have fallen over, by now.

Yes, those few heavy petting sessions had been worth it, and did help her, but it wasn't _enough_ ; it hadn't been from the start.

If anything, they made it worse, as they both were reminded of what they _couldn't_ do, instead of appreciating what they _could_.

The door opened behind them (sans made a face, but held it open for Papyrus), and they broke apart, with some hesitation. Papyrus was holding all of their bags, but sans had slipped past his brother, and now waited in the hallway. 

He was still unsure if there was a threat.

He had yet to realise that he had already missed it.

Undyne stood up, but with Alphys still in her arms. She adjusted her hold, and Alphys was soon rather comfortable, despite the pain.

“Follow me?” Undyne asked Papyrus, who had already understood, and was ready to do just that.

As Undyne placed Alphys gently onto their bed, Papyrus set their bags down on the floor beside her.

Alphys immediately leaned sideways, her eyes closing, and she curled up into a ball, trying to keep her mind off of her pain. She failed; Undyne's protective hold had jarred her rather badly, and she could already tell that her bandages needed changing, as she was bleeding a little.

Undyne hesitated, then nodded to Papyrus and took his hand, leading him out of the bedroom and back to the front door.

“I think we just need to keep her quiet, now,” Undyne explained, feeling a little guilty for kicking him out, especially after doing them a favour.

Papyrus nodded, as he had already assumed that, and hadn't made any plans to stay in the first place. Instead, he hugged Undyne tight, something she returned, shaking a little.

“Thank you,” she whispered, meaning it with her entire soul.

“ANYTIME,” Papyrus replied, meaning it with his own soul.

They parted, and Undyne closed the door behind him.

While he left the threat behind him, as well.


	20. Chapter 20

Undyne stood there for a moment, her forehead pressed to the door and her eye closed, still shaking a little. She'd been so afraid, so certain she would have to relive that horrible morning, and was still in a bit of shock from it.

But then she remembered Alphys, already balled up and exhausted, clearly needing her help but too tired to ask for it, and she pulled away. Her mind cleared, and she felt a bit lighter, the longer she focused on Alphys.

Finally, she went back down the hallway, and into the bedroom, keeping the lights dim and her movements as quiet as possible. She unpacked both of their bags, sorting out the laundry almost mechanically. Her eye would drift over to Alphys, making sure she was still safe, even as her hands worked over clean and dirty clothes.

When that was done, she grabbed both of their phones and plugged them in to charge. She then grabbed the bag of meds, and went to the bed, sitting down beside Alphys slowly, to keep from jarring her. Alphys, however, turned around to face Undyne, and her eyes were open, again.

“Hey,” Undyne said, touching Alphys's cheek.

Alphys's eyes softened, and she nodded. “Hi... A-are those my meds?”

Undyne nodded, giving her the paper print-out of the names. Alphys looked it over, and found, as Undyne pulled each one out, a puffer, two pain medications, a blood-thinner, and two weeks' worth of antibiotics. It also came with a little pill tray, to house her daily meds for a week (with an extra slot at the end) so that she wouldn't forget.

“There's also some instructions about how to wash and protect your wounds,” Undyne said, pulling out a small booklet. “Cool.”

Alphys smiled. Undyne’s eagerness to help was so endearing, and it was such a relief, to be able to depend on her, and know she was safe. She even filled the pill tray with enthusiasm, making a game of tossing the pills in as dramatically as possible, making Alphys laugh - Undyne's true goal.

“I love you, Undyne,” Alphys admitted, just as Undyne closed the tray and placed it alongside the puffer, on Alphys's nightstand.

Undyne smiled and laid down next to her, facing her. “I love _you_ , nerd,” she agreed. “Hey, how are you feeling?” she added, concerned; Alphys's eyes looked strained.

“I'm f-fine,” Alphys answered, lying quite literally through her teeth. She didn't want to ask for medication, because she wasn't sure if the pain was bad enough, and didn't want to waste the medication.

Undyne raised her eyebrow. “Out of ten?” she asked, like she had in the hospital, usually for the very same reason.

Alphys puffed out her cheeks, annoyed, as she'd promised Undyne to always answer honestly, and it still counted. “I don't think I--,”

“Out of ten?”

“W-wait, it's okay, once I’m showered, I’ll feel better, and sleep--,”

“Alphy.”

Alphys sighed. “Seven. I'm sorry.”

Undyne rolled her eye and grabbed the two bottles of pain medicines. “Don't apologise for being sore, especially since I was the one who hurt you. Which one?”

“Undyne, I know that was an accident--,”

“Which one? Alphy, I don't know the difference.”

Alphys went silent, and when Undyne looked over, she was instantly glared at.

Undyne sighed, closing her eye for a moment.

Then, she opened it. “Okay. I'm just... I feel bad for hurting you, Alphy, accident or not.”

Alphys's eyes softened. “Don't feel bad, Undyne. I know you didn't mean to, and besides, you're going to be helping me through this.” She smiled, and Undyne's expression relaxed. “So if anything, I’ll owe you by the end.”

Undyne shook her head and leaned down. “No, never, nonsense, we are _always_ equal,” she said, before kissing Alphys's lips, very softly.

Alphys felt her heart start to heal, and she returned it for a moment, so deeply touched that she had little choice.

But Undyne pulled away, her eye opening, and when Alphys's opened, Undyne's expression was amused.

Alphys snorted, smiling a little, before she mumbled, “S-seven... N-no, six--!”

“Seven. Okay.” Undyne grinned and sat back up, holding the bottles up again. “Which one is best for what you're feeling, right now?”

Alphys examined the labels. One was a strong anti-inflammatory, while the other was a strong type of morphine. She bit her lip, reflecting on the type of pain she was having.

“One of each, for now,” she decided. “Then I’ll have a shower, change my bandages, and see how it feels, if I need more or not.”

Undyne looked at her closely, then, and noticed a slight blush blooming upon Alphys's cheeks. She recognised that look, and grinned, feeling her own cheeks heat up as she took the two pills out.

Clearly, they were on the same page.

Alphys took the medications with a generous amount of water – she said it helped – and then sighed, setting the cup aside.

“Undyne,” she murmured, staring at her engagement ring, remembering that Undyne always wore its twin around her neck, on a silver chain.

She paused, thinking about them for a moment; they were identical, both made of sterling silver, one that was shaped into the sideways-eight of infinity. The eight itself was lined with gems, their only difference: Alphys's was blue, and Undyne's was yellow. Undyne got hers extra-small, because she hated rings, but liked necklaces, and knew she'd never wear it as a ring. It worked well.

“Undyne,” she tried again, still staring at her ring. “I feel like shit.”

Undyne spluttered out a laugh, surprised. She was expecting something serious, as Alphys's expression was sombre. But when she looked back up at Undyne, she was smiling, again.

“Can you help me, please?” she added.

Undyne's face lit up, and she nodded. When she scooped Alphys up into her arms, Alphys was the one who laughed, and Undyne joined her.

Fleeting, but still fun.

* * *

The shower was wonderful.

When the bandages were replaced, and for sure kept water out, Alphys was able to finally get as clean as possible, after a week of sink-baths and embarrassment. This was heaven, and the second Alphys stepped under the showerhead, she was enthralled. Undyne had just joined her when she leaned back, and Undyne caught her, worried – until she saw Alphys's happy, contented smile.

Undyne relaxed, then, too. For a moment, they remained that way, standing under the water and letting it soak through their skin, soothing them both.

Then, Alphys leaned over and grabbed the soap, and Undyne took it from her, something she merely shrugged at. The truth was that Alphys _wanted_ Undyne to wash her, and had been hoping for it from the start.

Undyne lived up to the expectations, being as careful and as gentle as possible. As a result, Alphys didn't get any sharp jabs of pain, and the stench of hospital washed down the drain, finally free of it.

But near the end, Alphys suddenly started to feel exhausted, but in a way that felt rather good. She stumbled when she tried to get out of the tub, and her eyes kept closing for longer than a blink. Her whole body felt weighed down by bliss. She knew it was the morphine, but she was still surprised.

 _Did I mishear Jean?_ she wondered. _Did they say two, or four? This feels more than either one..._

_Could the extra relief be from the other drug?_

_No. Not like this. This is a morphine reaction._

_But why?_

Undyne frowned, noticing Alphys's clumsiness. It gave her a bad feeling, so she sat Alphys down on the toilet and went back into the bedroom, grabbing two sets of pyjamas. She then decided she would dress Alphys and herself, instead of keeping them both naked, like they'd planned. 

Undyne kept her eye on Alphys as she dried herself off, then helped Alphys, before she started to dress Alphys, too. She knew that Alphys had very much wanted the same thing Undyne did, but she was clearly close to falling asleep, and wasn't going to be able to.

Alphys was barely able to feel Undyne towel her down, let alone dress her. Something in the back of her mind protested this, citing a desire to be naked, but she forgot why by the time she was sitting back down on the toilet seat. Alphys hunched over, her head in her hands, and didn't even react to the pain that such a movement gave her.

 _Did she know this was gonna happen? If so, why didn't she warn me?_ Undyne wondered, keeping her eye on her as she pulled back her hair.

Undyne then knelt down in front of Alphys, who didn't react.

Undyne reached up and took hold of her face, bringing it gently up, and Alphys's eyes rolled back, swallowing hard. She went pale, and reached up and touched Undyne's arms. She shook her head, then flinched, and her eyes remained closed.

Undyne was getting _very_ worried, now.

Quickly, she stood up, then took hold of Alphys, who was limp in her arms, and when Undyne laid her back down, Alphys didn't react. 

 _She's already asleep,_ Undyne noticed, _but it doesn't_ feel _right. It feels_ off _..._

Undyne felt dread sweep through her, suddenly getting a bad idea of what was happening, and she grabbed the two bottles of pills, her hands shaking. She opened one, and compared the description of the pill to the way it was written on the label. It matched, so she grabbed the morphine, and checked it.

The pill described was “small, round, orange, 2”. The pill in Undyne's hand was not small, nor was it round or orange; it was triangular and white, stamped with an “8”.

Undyne's whole body went hot with terror.

The pills had been switched, to a drug almost three times as powerful as the one she was on in the hospital.

Alphys wasn't asleep, but unconscious. 

She'd accidentally overdosed.


	21. Chapter 21

Undyne grabbed her phone and dialled the emergency number, her eye blurry with tears she didn't feel. She sat cross-legged on the bed, Alphys halfway in her lap, her phone to her ear and her other hand to Alphys's chest, over her heart. She spoke, but later forgot what she even said, or what she'd been told.

Her eye stayed on Alphys's face, even as she cried.

Alphys wasn't awake, anymore; the second she'd settled down once back in bed, her mind went blank. Undyne kept trying to wake her up, but Alphys didn't even stir, or react. Her face was pale, and she felt so heavy...

Undyne was close to shock when the paramedics arrived, and she hung up the phone and put it aside. She didn't move, not even when the two – both monsters – walked in and stood – or knelt – beside them, looking Alphys over.

“Yes?” one said, kneeling beside a big bag.

The other turned their flashlight off, having just checked Alphys's eyes. “No question,” the other agreed. “Breathing. One dose?”

Undyne started, realising she was being asked. “Y-yes,” she agreed. “It was one, her first one, the-the whole thing.”

The flashlight was exchanged with a syringe, one that Undyne stared at with horror. But she knew better than to try anything, save help, so she laid Alphys down beside her, flat on her back, before she lifted Alphys's arm, sliding the sleeve up high enough.

The paramedic cleaned the skin, and prepped the syringe.

Undyne flinched when the needle went into Alphys's skin, disappearing into fat and muscle, but Alphys did not. The paramedic pushed down the plunger, then withdrew it and placed a cotton ball over the site. Undyne took over and held it, and the paramedic knelt down beside the other.

They were both prepping oxygen, and Undyne hated that she knew what that looked like.

Alphys remained still, her breathing soft and her heartbeat faint under Undyne's hands – for several minutes.

Soon, however, Undyne noticed a change: Alphys's heartrate increased, and her breaths grew faster, and shorter.

Undyne looked up in panic, but one paramedic was already standing back up, holding what looked like a cardboard bowl. Undyne was confused, and starting to worry, and she opened her mouth to ask what was wrong.

When she did, Alphys suddenly jolted, a spasm running through her whole body, and she groaned, the sound low and painful. She twitched, her eyelids flickering, and she started to stir, her face still pale.

“Help her sit up,” the paramedic told Undyne.

She did, carefully, keeping an arm around her, across her chest, to keep her sitting up but without hurting her wounds.

By the time Undyne had Alphys sitting up and leaning against her, Alphys groaned again, her head rolling forward.

“Alphy?” Undyne called softly.

Alphys couldn't answer; she felt _awful_ , the blurry euphoria of the morphine completely replaced by nausea and muscle cramps, and when she tried to speak, she couldn't; she moaned again, her eyes still closed, a thin string of saliva coming loose from her slack mouth. She felt like she'd been put into a blender, and the nausea was even _worse_.

The nausea.

Suddenly, Alphys could feel only that, and she made a different sound, a sad, wordless protest, before her whole body heaved, and she dropped forward.

Undyne caught her and pulled her back up, just as the paramedic slid the bowl forward.

Alphys hadn't caught up to what was going on, only able to remain in the horrific present, and her hands searched quickly, knowing what was about to happen. She felt the bowl, made another pathetic noise, and threw up into it.

It wasn't much; just bits of her last hospital meal, alongside a great deal of bile.

But when the paramedics saw a deformed, quickly-dissolving triangle of white within it, they both relaxed, even when Alphys threw up more bile and buried it. She'd been on IV morphine for over a week, and the syringe was, of course, nalaxone, sending her into withdrawal, unable to feel anthing else but _that_...

Alphys shuddered, the second round rendering her stomach empty, and she slumped forward in Undyne's arms, held up by them, alone. Her body convulsed a few more times, but nothing else came out, save a bit of bloody saliva; her throat was that raw.

“Okay,” one paramedic said. “Miss, can you hear me?”

Alphys hesitated, not sure if she was being spoken to, or if she understood it very well. She managed to squeak out, “Yes.”

Undyne closed her eye with relief, holding Alphys closer to her, and Alphys leaned back against her, feeling immense comfort when Undyne kissed her cheek.

“Do you have the drug in question?”

Undyne nodded, handing it over, and they both looked it over, before handing it back.

“Tell the pharmacy and her doctor,” one said, and both listened. “You can still use these pills, but cut them in half, and watch her. If she again falls unconscious, use this, and call an ambulance.”

It was another one of those needles of nalaxone, but in a kit, with instructions. Undyne took it and nodded, placing it next to the pills.

“Thank,” Alphys whispered, still breathing hard. She felt like hell, a kind of discomfort that was nightmarish and consuming, but if she focused on Undyne, she felt at _least_ safe.

They stayed for a full half-hour, making sure Alphys didn't pass out again, before they took her vitals, recorded her OHIP information, and packed up.

“Good catch,” one said to Undyne, on the way out. “Most people would've assumed it was normal.”

“I know my wife,” she answered right away.

When they were alone, again, Alphys remained leaning against Undyne, her breaths hoarse and her body shaking, feeling too hot, then too cold, then back to hot, again. She kept one hand on the paper bowl, and while she did retch a few more times, nothing else came out.

Undyne laid Alphys back down, on her side, and took the bowl, pouring the contents into the toilet and tossing the bowl into the outside garbage bin. She did it all with little thought, her eye wide and still crying.

She hadn't caught up, either, and still didn’t quite accept what had almost happened.

When she came back, Alphys was shivering, her eyes squeezed closed and her body curled into a tight ball, even her tail. Undyne knelt down in front of her and touched her cheek, and Alphys swallowed hard, making a sound of relief.

“Alphy, what do I do?” she whispered. In any other situation, she wouldn't of asked Alphys, as she was the one hurting. But Undyne knew so little about this kind of thing, and knew Alphys did.

And she wanted to make sure she helped Alphys correctly.

Alphys knew this, too, and was just as far behind. “Take pills,” she murmured, her eyes still closed. “Cut three in half. Put in spare pocket of pill tray. Give one half to me now, with food. Bread?”

“Bread,” Undyne agreed, happy to have such clear instructions. “The pound cake, yeah?”

When Alphys smiled faintly, surprising them both, Undyne felt her stomach settle, just a bit.

“Okay. I won't be long, okay?”

Alphys nodded, and, after another kiss, Undyne got up, grabbed the pills and tray, and went to the kitchen.

Reality was about to catch up, and neither were ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The treatment I wrote in this chapter is real. If you suspect someone, whom you know is on opiates, has overdosed, call 911 or 999 and tell them. They will do something similar to what I wrote.
> 
> Additionally, if you're worried it could happen, you can pick up a nalaxone kit at a pharmacy, and have it with you. If you use it, still call the paramedics. Always. 
> 
> One little kit can save a life.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know things have been really hard on these two, especially Alphys, and it looks like I'm being kind of a bully. But trust me: it will be worth it. I hope. It will be a satisfying ending. And while there are a few more stumbles to get up from, they're almost there.

Alphys felt it, that time.

She hadn't been sure if she'd felt it the other times, until she actually had for real.

Once she had, her face burned, even as her body shuddered with deep chills and flaring hot flashes.

 _I have to tell her,_ she realised, her eyes open halfway and filled with tears.

_I have to tell the truth._

_She's got to be questioning it, now._

_There's no way she isn't..._

It filled her with deep dread, and she shut her eyes, burying her face into her knees, and wished she could disappear.

* * *

Undyne felt so ashamed. She hadn't even bothered to check the pills, let alone think such a thing was even possible.

 _It probably was that nurse, who'd been let out on bail, and he'd done it while pretending to work,_ she thought, her eye narrowing at the thought.

 _If I see him near Alphys, again, he's fucking_ dead.

It was nice to imagine it, but it did nothing to alleviate her shame. She felt that, by now, she should've been checking everything, anything, before she let Alphys even touch it.

The one time she should've been more attentive was the one time it would bite her in the ass.

However, the more her mind went back to what had happened, over and over, from the shower to now, she started to feel uneasy about... _something_.

She cut a generous slice of cake, poured a glass of soy milk, cut the pills in half and placed all but one half in the right slot, that one half going into a tiny saucer beside the bread, her mind repeating itself, and finally, as she was returning back to the bedroom, she got it.

Undyne stopped in mid-stride, shock sending her reeling back. She'd merely thought it as an “as if”, a scenario so unlikely that it was laughable, an extreme, one that would never happen.

And she only thought of it _because_ of how this all began, in the first place.

She frowned, shaking her head, starting to walk again, but her knees felt wobbly, and she couldn't get the thought out of her mind.

Alphys was coughing when Undyne came back in, and she walked over, setting everything on Alphys's nightstand.

Alphys opened her eyes and looked up at Undyne; she hadn't moved, and still stood beside Alphys's bedside.

Dread filled Alphys, then, the expression on Undyne's face cutting right into her heart. She looked carefully blank, as if it were taking every muscle in her body to keep her face that way. She then turned away, going to sit down at Alphys's other side, but she kept her head tilted away for a moment.

Alphys felt terrible, but knew she needed to take that half-pill; otherwise, she'd be too sick for days, and she needed those days to heal.

In silence, she pushed herself up a little, swallowed the pill with the milk, and laid back down, eating the cake while lying down on her side.

Silence fell between them during that time.

Undyne was mulling it over in her head, remembering the hints she'd missed along the way: how fast Alphys healed; how easy it was for her to handle so much pain; how, even now, Alphys's body was already calming down, barely ten minutes after taking that pill...

Undyne was no doctor, but she remembered the look on Dr Jean's face, an expression they'd worn several times when giving them Alphys's updated status.

But it went _earlier_ than that.

Alphys had survived being hit by an _exploding_ _package_ , after being left alone for at least an hour after...

She _also_ survived being shot, _twice_ , when any other monster would have died in _minutes_ , their body unable to figure out how to heal itself before they fell down. 

But Alphys's body _had_ figured it out. Each time.

And even an hour before now, when Undyne had grabbed Alphys roughly, and caused her stitches to loosen a bit, Alphys had handled it better than she probably _should_ have.

There was only one answer for why Alphys could. Nobody else would have even considered to question it, let alone question it, at all.

But Undyne was, now, and the only answer that fit was one that made her whole body stiffen, like her blood were made of ice.

Alphys finished the cake, and set the plate back down, having another drink, before pushing herself up on one arm, and luckily not against her injured side. When the cup was drained, Alphys returned it, too, and turned around, slowly, but still in a way that was still too easy.

 _Especially_ after overdosing, and being thrown into premature withdrawal.

Undyne turned toward her, and Alphys stared up at her, her expression one she'd never seen before. Alphys was clearly terrified of it, her whole body shaking with both it, and the remnants of that withdrawal. She couldn't speak, her eyes filling with tears, and she kept lying down, everything striking her at once and keeping her there.

All she wanted was comfort. All she wanted was to be held. All she wanted was Undyne...

Undyne saw that look, and decided, with it, that how she felt didn't matter, right now. She laid down in front of Alphys, reaching out and touching her cheeks.

Alphys grabbed her hands and held them in place, sniffling, and she kept her eyes closed.

It was clear that Alphys was certain that Undyne would leave her.

“Did you?” Undyne murmured, causing Alphys to flinch.

But then, slowly, Alphys nodded, biting down on her lip.

Undyne's eye closed for a moment, before she opened it, again. Honestly, perhaps she _should_ have assumed it was possible, or at least _asked_ Alphys, as Undyne knew how curious she could be.

Once applied, it made perfect sense, and explained everything weird that was going on, alongside everything else.

“Alphy?” Undyne then whispered.

When she nodded, Undyne added, “Did you hear what I said, before? What I called you?”

Alphys's eyes opened with shock, remembering. Her face went crimson, and her eyes met Undyne's, filling with tears. She nodded, swallowing hard.

“Know why I said it?”

Alphys shook her head.

“Because to me, we're already married,” Undyne replied. “To me, you're already my wife, just like I said.”

Alphys nodded. “M-me too,” she admitted shyly.

“Okay,” Undyne said. “Then we gotta _act_ like it, which means no more secrets, Alphy. Even if you think they only hurt you. Once we're married, we'll be connected, and everything that hurts you, hurts me, and vice-versa.”

Alphys was crying, unable to help it, but she nodded, realising that now was indeed the time, and putting it off any longer would only insult them both.

And Alphys  _needed_ Undyne to know the truth, because she needed her help.

“I want us to win,” Undyne said. “I want us to last. But we can't, if there are lies and secrets. Right?”

Alphys nodded once more.

“Okay,” Undyne concluded. “Please tell me how it happened, Alphy.”

Alphys sniffled, her whole body slowly calming down the longer they talked, despite the subject matter.

When she was finally calm enough, Alphys began.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now, a flashback.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all knew this was coming, right? I made it really obvious enough, didn't I?

Alphys was out of ideas.

It surprised her, because she'd never considered the possibility of that happening.

But it was true. Her digital checklist was finished. The last box was marked. She'd exhausted everything she could ever come up with.

It made her angry.

 _No,_ she thought, pushing the keyboard aside and walking to the faux restroom. She slammed her palm onto the button, her tail twitching.

 _I'm_ not _quitting, yet._

_There has to be a connection, a reason why we need souls to navigate the barrier._

_If we can find some way of using those souls, the ones we have, already, into fooling the barrier into thinking a monster with a bit of soul were human..._

_But... to get soul into a monster, enough to fool the barrier, I would have to use..._

_Fuck._

She had promised herself she _wouldn't_ use them. She had sworn that it was like cheating, even though Asgore had insisted she do it. She wanted to succeed based on her own merits. She knew where they were, what they said, and how to use them.

But she'd never even been most important room of the entire Lab, let alone read anything from within it.

In many ways, she had used some of them, already, if sparingly, but in her defence, those were the files left out in the open, and within places that had never been locked. It had only been a year with her at the helm, and Hotland was actually ready for people to live in. It was a huge success, because it helped ease the population overflow in New Home. And that success only happened thanks to those files she'd found in the open. 

But that wasn't enough, she'd decided, all on her own. She needed to know more.

She _needed_ to cheat.

So she went to the secluded room near the back and unlocked, then opened, its door, going in with narrowed eyes and a straightened spine.

When the door closed behind her, she left part of herself behind, a part that got lost, and never came back, an innocence she'd held, only about herself. Because once Alphys emerged from the room, her hands full of rolls of blueprints, her face pale but her eyes like steel, she was someone different.

She had just learnt one of the most disturbing things about her peoples' past, and her innocence was lost.

But she was going to use it to win.

She'd hoped.

* * *

Weeks later, Alphys split her time between working with Metta and their – _his_ – new body, and hiding herself in the bowels of the True Lab, learning more and more secrets that made her feel both anxious and eager.

Alphys had asked around, visited the hospitals, found sick monsters, and gathered names, medical histories, contact numbers. She had, at worst, no fewer than ten, and she found it was a reasonable number.

Many people made the mistake of assuming Alphys lacked ambition, that her nature was too timid and shy to have the kind of brass needed to climb those kinds of ladders. And it was partly true: she _was_ intimidated, often, and wondered if she had any ambition at all, despite how she got the job, in the first place.

She'd though she was at her most ambitious, already.

That was before she went into that room.

Before, she _was_ ambitious.

Now, the closer she got to results, she used that ambition in a way that was ruthless, a way that she truly didn't like, as she now knew a side to herself she despised – but needed to use, to make this work. It was ruthlessness that had led her to the hospitals, and the same ruthlessness that had calculated the odds based on attendance.

So, Alphys pretended it _wasn't_ happening.

Online, she was her normal, chipper self, the Royal Scientist who was working on another major project, one cloaked in secrecy that was certain to make her career.

Which was only half-true: she was using one project to distract – or replace – attention to the other, in case the riskier one failed.

Not even Asgore knew the true depths of it.

Not yet.

Because offline, Alphys was someone else.

She was someone colder, meaner; someone who could look at someone and calculate their worth based on their body's condition. She had spent so many hours building, and destroying and rebuilding, that one major machine, the one she knew would get Asgore's attention, attention she needed, to ask for what she had to have to make all of this work...

A few months after her first year as Royal Scientist, she finished the machine, what had been titled, in its blueprints, “The Determination Extraction Machine.”

Alphys called the it DTXM.

Alphys remembered dropping to the floor before it, her eyes blurring with exhaustion but her body humming with pride, as the machine she'd laboured for so long finally came to life, in a part of the Lab that Alphys was certain was _meant_ for it – if there had been time for it.

That time was now.

She grinned up at it, unable to speak, so happy that she wanted to sing.

Sing for joy, over a machine designed to experiment on human souls.

It was a macabre grin, then, one she laughed dryly with, and her tail remained limp and heavy, no mirth in either gesture. She pushed herself to her feet, sighed, and walked back to the elevator.

It was time to use those contacts.

* * *

They were all cooperative, and most were optimistic. They all vouched for Alphys, and in writing, adding the stack of papers within a letter she sent to Asgore, one that requested use of the souls.

_“I've made a breakthrough, using old blueprints, and may have a way to fool the barrier into thinking the one walking through it is a human: the souls you have. The procedures won't hurt them, or take away their power, and I won't need them for long. These are families expecting their loved ones to die. That is the worst outcome, one they'd already prepared for; I am prepared for, too, and I suggest the same for you, just in case.”_

When Alphys looked back at that sentence, she either laughed bitterly, or cried her eyes out with shame and regret.

Because Asgore agreed, and the morning she awoke ready to begin, she'd been so excited, so happy.

Until she realised one thing:

She'd never tested the machine.

She didn't even know _how_ – or even _if_ – it really worked, beyond just turning it on, or just theoretical hypotheses.

She had to experiment on objects, or non-sentient life, first, before she even tried to do the same to the fallen people, people she had to think of as “bodies”, otherwise she would _break_...

So, she did.

Alphys went outside, using the excuse that she was checking the cameras, and from each place, she pulled free a plant: a yellow flower from New Home, a fire lily from Hotland, and echo flower from Waterfall, and a snowdrop from Snowdin. (The Ruins were sealed, and she didn't try.)

She made her first mistake, then: because she'd chosen the strongest-looking flowers, but she didn't know it, yet. Instead, she potted them, placed them in the now-unsealed old office of her predecessor, and wrote as much as she could down, step-by-step.

If she failed, or if she was killed, she needed the record to survive, so that whoever took her place had a leg-up, and knew exactly where to go from there.

Because Alphys already knew who the live test subject would be.

Then, Asgore sent the souls, and Alphys immediately became enthralled by them.

When she had all seven set up in _that_ office, she sat back and stared at them. They glowed, glittering and sparking with the power they had, one trapped behind magical glass, one that kept each one safe.

Alphys stared at them for two hours that first day, unable to move. She found out another part of herself: _bloodlust_.

She wanted to steal these souls, absorb them, and use their power to throw down the barrier, despite being one short. She even made excuses for that: her soul was strong, too; if she took them, she could use them to go to the surface, find the right answers; or maybe she could find a way to splice a new one from all seven (that was one she _did_ try, later, but in a different way _)_ …

Alphys only snapped away from them when she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She took it out and checked it, and found a confused message from Metta, who was already waiting for her. She hesitated, her eyes going over each soul, before she closed them, and the phone, and went to meet him.

* * *

Luckily, that would be the only time she felt bloodlust like that, again. Any other time she spent around the canisters, she felt nervous, wary, but not power-hungry.

One of the first things Alphys did, before even _thinking_ of bringing one of the souls to the DTXM, was read all of the files that she'd sworn _not_ to read. She spent hours behind her desk, her eyes raking over pages and pages of paper, while she kept surveillance from the corner of her eye. (It worked, because whenever there was any kind of movement, she jumped and turned to the screens, and on some screens, her gaze would linger).

In basic terms, the work left behind was like being inside of a labyrinth. She went through one paragraph, say, about human souls, and the next paragraph below would be about conductive materials; no two paragraphs were ever on the same subject.

It was _code_.

She did figure it out, eventually; if she stacked all of the pages in numerical order, and into a makeshift book, the code was easy: the paragraphs were alighted _horizontally_. Each paragraph at the top of each page matched, and it was the same for any other paragraphs, in all of the pages. Even when the topic changed, it still remained to code.

Alphys wondered how and why _anyone_ would make notes like this, and wondered if he threw himself into the CORE because his own work ended up confusing him, too, whenever he revisited these notes.

But finally, Alphys managed to make herself an instruction booklet for herself, using her own notes, and put the others away, her eyes strained. She shoved her glasses down her snout and rubbed them, wincing.

She knew that this was probably the easy part.

With those instructions, she discovered how to collect and prepare a kind of DT solution, one transferable to a syringe. The idea was to set the canister onto a metal gurney, and then shock it for however long was needed to fill the vial already prepped. She'd broken several, and had once lost a great deal of the stuff when she overfilled one, and caused it to explode. (Her ears rang for an entire day after that.)

What came out was something that looked like smoke in glass, but when exposed to air, became ice-cold liquid. She always wore every kind of protection possible, and luckily never got exposed to it, but she certainly had come close, and many times, with those first mistakes.

But once she finally had three beakers of each soul colour, she knew she was ready to start. It had taken her an entire day, and she was exhausted by the end. But now, she knew how to make the solution, and how to make it into a medicine from there.

She started with the echo flower, as she wondered if it would speak, once exposed to the DT, if a child's essence remained with its source...

But instead, within minutes, it started to – what she _thought_ \- wither, and shrink into itself.

When she looked into the pot, she found thick, sick-looking liquid, one that coated the soil beneath it like paint.

At this point, anyone else would have given up, easily picturing her patients doing this very thing when injected.

But Alphys was stubborn as well as ruthless, and now, rather desperate; she'd found herself fond of Asgore, and wanted to please him, and make him proud of her, and _see_ her...

It was _that_ thought – the idea of making Asgore happy, when it was clear he was very, very sad – that made Alphys dig her heels in.

And it was that hope, that eagerness to see a real smile from her King, that made her do all of what she did, next.


	24. Chapter 24

Before she threw caution to the wind, Alphys did indeed try another test with the flowers, using the snowdrop and the fire lily.

She had noticed, when the echo flower had melted, the sludge left behind seemed to almost... _move_... and toward the edge of the pot. It made her wonder if something within the DT animated the inanimate, and the shock of such a thing caused it to die.

So, she decided to put the lily and the drop in one pot, and dosed them both. It took longer for the drop to melt than the lily, but they both did indeed melt.

But as Alphys watched, she saw that she had been right: the sludge _did_ move, and this time, toward _each_ _other_.

When they touched, Alphys jumped: they melted into one, and seemed to almost try to shape itself into something else.

Alphys sat there, spellbound, as the conjoined sludge started to ooze its way out of the pot, and drip onto the countertop, instead. She scrambled back, and she was glad she had: the stuff seemed to want to follow her, pushing itself out and forward, becoming thinner and thinner, until, suddenly, it just plopped back down, and didn't move.

Alphys was the one who moved, just a little closer, and as she did, the sludge turned to dust before her eyes.

She was shaking very hard, now, one hand over her mouth. She staggered back, hitting the wall, and she slid down, her eyes still on that line of dust.

In the Underground, everyone knew that when a monster's soul shattered, the shards would then begin to course through the body, alongside slowing blood, and shred to dust.

But things like plants and animals did not; they died the way they did, above: organically.

Alphys had assumed that the first flower had become sludge because the DT became liquid when injected.

But she was wrong.

It was a plant's attempt at making itself a _body_.

And its attempt to keep _adding_ to that body, until it was formed, again, she concluded, her whole body awash in tremors.

It had been trying to touch her, to connect with her, to either take her life, or be a parasite, in order to keep _itself_ living.

DT had given the plant a kind of life it never had, before.

 _It gives life,_ Alphys - quite understandably - concluded, the wonder of such a thing making her feel small and in over her head. She felt both weak and powerful, hopeless yet still eager to keep trying.

Though she had to keep herself cold toward her soon-to-be test-subjects, in order to keep from attaching to them, Alphys still wanted them to live. She still wanted this to end happily, to bring those monsters back, before they were dust way too soon...

 _But I can't just test them like that,_ she realised. _The plant lived – only to die. If that happens to them, it would be_ devastating _..._

She felt dismay overcome her, because with it, she realised she'd hit a wall, and there was no way around it.

 _Wait_.

 _Technically, those monsters are still alive, and in a way far more advanced, than any flower,_ she wrote, in one of her many journals _. I'm not giving then life. I'm giving the life they have left a damage-boost._

But again, she didn't want to risk tragedy.

Her eyes fell on her hands, and she held them up. They shook, making her handwriting horrific, but she could still read it. She traced both naturally curved pathways of her veins, and unnatural, faded straight lines, alongside them.

I'm _alive_ , she thought. _I'm healthy - physically, anyway – and at my peak, maybe._

If she injected _herself_ with one of the doses, one she would make proper for her size and metabolism, she could test _two_ major hurdles: whether or not it would kill, or make the patient melt into sludge, mindlessly hunting for life; or, whether or not it _could_ give life, and give the dying bodies that damage-boost to their systems, and jumpstart them back to work, again.

 _But what if it kills_ me _?_

Alphys tried to be impartial. But at this time of her life, after a mental breakdown, followed by a new career and fresh start, she realised she was, despite all of that, expendable.

She'd made records, wrote down every single letter and number and symbol, recording her entire process.

If she _did_ die, _anyone_ could easily pick up where she left off.

Alphys was a nobody.

This was literally her only worth, and it could easily be done by anyone else.

That was her rationale, in any case, and the final vote she needed to test it on herself.

So, she started prepping for it.

* * *

“You're doing what, exactly?”

“Nice try, but that won't work. Y-you don't need to kn-know that,” Alphys replied, feeling ready to just throw herself into the lava. “I-I just need you to watch the screens, and if you see anything, use the call button to tell the Royal Guards in that area.”

Mettaton, in his box-body, sighed, before straightening back up. “Alright,” he agreed. “I hate this voice, darling.”

“I told you, as soon as I reach a break – or a break _through_ – I’ll finally finish your real body, the one with your real voice, okay?”

Alphys felt guilty about this, because if she _did_ die, he would either have to stay a box, or return to being a ghost.

And while he was a pain in the tail, he still came through for her, when no one else would...

“Lastly,” she said, her voice suddenly lowering, though she hadn't meant for it to. “If you don't hear from me, or I don't return here, call Asgore, okay?”

“Why don't I just _find_ you?” he answered, crossing his arms over his chest. “I know the way.”

“I need you _here_ ,” she lied. She was doing this entire thing to keep him here, safe, and out of her way.

If she became a life-hungry blob, she didn't want to kill _anyone._

Mettaton said nothing, so she took it as her dismissal.

When she turned, however, he said, “You never told me _why.”_

“Why you're doing this for me?”

“Indeed.”

Alphys sighed. “Because sometimes, I’m the only one who needs to know why.”

Mettaton sagged a little. “Fine. Will you tell me, _after?”_

“Sure,” she agreed, her mind already in the Lab. “Whatever you want.”

“Thank you. Do take care, then, beautiful.”

Alphys blushed, looking away. “I told you not to call me that. It hurts.”

Mettaton was about to reply – one that would have changed _everything_ between them – she added. “It hurts, because you call _everyone_ pet names like that, even people you _hate.”_

That was implying something she'd suspected for a while, but never asked, lacking the courage. If she was about to die, she at least deserved to know this.

When Mettaton was silent, she smiled sadly.

 _“Exactly,”_ she muttered, shaking her head.

Before he could tell her the truth, she was already gone.

She _was_ right. He _did_ use it sarcastically. But only because he said it to her the first time by accident, his first real betrayal of his true feelings for her.

The second time, however, ruined everything. He'd zipped over to her, still a ghost, then, and called for her, greeting her with, “Hello, _beautiful_!” in order to get her attention, as her back was to him.

She did turn around, and blushed, but she didn't know that someone else was behind her, until she turned around, assuming he meant someone else, and they both saw that someone was behind her, and it was someone they didn't really like (a young man later named Burgerpants).

Alphys went redder, but with anger; he had earlier called her by the same name, that first betrayal, and when she'd been bashful, he'd been too flustered to say anything more, enchanted by her shyness.

"Did you mean him?" Alphys demanded.

Metta truly had no answer, then, and he was speechless.

And because her mind worked the way it did, Alphys then accused him of using the name as a joke, and it was cruel, because she was sensitive about her looks. She added that she also knew that, if it _was_ at her, that he _was_ being sarcastic, and calling her that because he knew she was not.

She'd walked away before he could explain, and it was one of many days that he'd cried over her, frustrated by his inability to be blunt.

Because each time he said it, he had meant it. Including now.

And because of that one mistake, she ended up testing on herself, all alone, in that reckless abandon, deciding that if she _did_ die, Mettaton probably would benefit the most, and no longer felt sorry about his unfinished body.

We only see what we want to see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously, you all know where I'm going with this, right?


	25. Chapter 25

Alphys set up a makeshift sick room in the room with the television, deciding that if she did die, and slowly, she would at least be entertained.

Despite already having seen each tape (including the home movies) at least twice, by now...

Which made her think of the yellow flower, unused, but possibly replaceable, with a special one, make one live, a flower friend, for...

She set up a cot, an IV pole fitted with a bag of saline and two smaller bags of morphine and a sedative. She also made sure that the door remained locked, so that she had no way of escaping the room, unless she was physically able to; she'd left the key on top of the TV.

Alphys never wanted to hurt _anyone_ with this, if it failed.

Just herself.

She then changed into scrubs, disinfected her hand, and fitted it with an IV needle and cord, one attached to all three meds. She threaded the cord into a boxy pole, and set up button commands for each one, suitable for the box's remote control – one she kept close.

Alphys's plan was simple, in theory: she would put a video on, inject the dose of DT, then immediately push the saline button. That way, if she fainted or went comatose, she wouldn't die of thirst.

At least, unless she never woke up. Then the saline would run out, and she would die.

 _So many ways to fuck this up,_ she thought bitterly. _So many was to throw my life away._

_My expendable, meaningless life..._

_If_ Alphys stayed awake, she would write down everything she felt, with each new symptom, as it happened, to keep a meticulous record until it either knocked her down, or ran its course and did nothing, passing through her body like any other drug.

That was the plan, one she was proud of, because even though she was scared and had doubts, she still planned to survive, expendable or not.

The odds were stacked against her, and whenever she looked at the syringe – each colour a thick segment inside of the glass – she imagine herself, melting like pain and staining the floor, like the plants had.

 _But even if I am expendable, I don't want to die,_ she decided, scribbling down a quick, generic note, one she later burnt, for good reason.

_I want to see this through. I want to learn from his mistakes. I want to learn from my own, too._

She was aware that _this_ could be a mistake, too.

And her last.

But she _had_ to try.

And if Alphys was anyone, above all, she was someone who _tried_.

 _Always_.

So, she laid down on the cot, using the TV remote and turning it on, glad she had something familiar to keep her company.

For a moment, Alphys watched the images, on what she thought had been such advanced technology – until she, one inspired afternoon, took it apart, and learnt how it worked – and how to make it work _better_.

Since then, she knew, with the new blueprints and algorithm she'd sold to the only Underground manufacturer, this TV she used was outdated, now.

Within the first few weeks into her new job, she was _desperate_ for money, needing it almost right away, and because of university fees, even with a salary, she was _still_ poor.

In that poverty, she forgot to copyright those blueprints to her own name, simply because she was happy for the lump sum she got, and was happy to help others.

But she was unable to stretch it. She used it for food, and cheap, used equipment and she knew she would need for why she was hired, as well as furniture. She'd planned to use the left over gold to patent it, but she missed out on being the copyright owner, having sold it prior to patenting it, and thus missed out on being a great deal more financially stable...

These kinds of TVs, she knew, were still around, but were being replaced, by newer TVs, ones with magic, ones less fragile, ones that she'd laboured on, for months, and had cried over, and had still been used and fucked over, regardless...

She still hated herself for that carelessness.

 _Why am I thinking about this?_ She sighed at herself, exasperate. _Clearly, I’m using every tactic to avoid doing the thing. I need to do the thing._

_Now._

With a sigh, she turned to her side, so that her IV would remain unharmed if she passed out, and she wouldn't suffocate if she had a seizure or threw up.

She grabbed the syringe from the side table she'd set up for herself, pausing to look at it.

She had been unable to choose a colour, so she used the mistake she'd made earlier, by splicing small bits of all six souls' DT. It had been her attempt to make that seventh soul, but she failed, so instead, made a syringe out of it.

With it still in her shaking hand, Alphys suddenly stared at her phone, one that had been beside the syringe.

 _I can still call for help,_ she realised, all of a sudden feeling weak, and helpless, and still way in over her head...

But instead, she opened it, opened up a Web browser to UnderNet, and updated her status for - what she feared - was the last time.

 _“What the fuck am I doing?”_ she wrote, her eyes welling up with tears, now. _“I feel so alone, all alone, and I’m scared, I don't know what to do, yet I have to do it, because nobody else can."_

She was sobbing, now, with the tears she'd smothered, or bit back, or even _cut_ back, for so long, only to now, at last, give up fighting it; she was too weak, too full of self-pity, to stop them. She knew her message was just as weak as she felt, and realised she needed a better one, to say _more_ , just in case...

She deleted the message, then wrote: _“I'm on the precipice, right now. My feet are soaked in the waters that are trying to drag me down, and I’m torn. I want to walk away. But I know I need to drown.”_

That was all she could come up with, and she posted it. It made sense to her, despite not realising how much it did _after_ she posted it. She'd simply written out her thoughts, and they had matched the ones she'd had during the _many_ times she'd stood at the abyss, and contemplated...

That was enough, now.

Alphys turned the phone off, put it face-down, and grabbed the syringe, her hands shaking so hard that she almost dropped it, and she almost knocked over the bottle of water she had there, too. She took her glasses off, placed them where the syringe had been, and laid back.

She stared at the ceiling, thousands of thoughts going through her mind, threatening to drown her like that water, and she let them for a moment, her tears a kind of personal drowning, now.

_Asgore, so worried, so careful, so caring and sweet and kind, so kind, a type I still wonder if I even deserve, after the way we met..._

_Why did he hire me...?_

_Metta, in both forms, expressive and droll in his ghost form, then flat and sarcastic in his box form, calling me beautiful, calling me darling, mocking me for my loneliness, when all I wanted was comfort, and from him, too..._

_Why did he become my friend...?_

_Undyne, a warrior, the warrior, the Underground's Captain of the Royal Guard. I only know her through Asgore, and I’ve never seen her in person, but..._

_I saw her, that first time, on the Waterfall feed, in the room she'd use for her puzzle. She took her helmet off, and I saw her face for the first time, and... and..._

_She's so beautiful. She's so amazing. She's so perfect..._

_She doesn't even know that I’m alive, and won't even notice when I'm dead,_  she concluded at last, coming almost full-circle, now.

_And that's why I'm so expendable in the first place..._

Most people that she _thought_ were her friends were just people she knew; she cared too much, was too overbearing, too annoying, too overeager for friendship, for the loneliness to end, to be held, and loved, and... and...

_Nothing._

_I am nothing._

_I_ was _nothing..._

She opened her eyes, then, and cleaned her face with her sleeve. She stared at the screen, the subtitles too blurry to read, but she tried, anyway, in order to calm down.

Once she was as calm as she could be, without even watching herself, Alphys stuck the needle into her IV port, in the second, unused nozzle, and injected the DT.

When it was empty, she set it back on the table, curled up into a ball, and waited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh, yeah. This is gonna suuuuuck. We are about to delve into a lot of deep, personal issues within Alphys, ones that are part-canon, part-headcanon, and part-personal.
> 
> Get ready.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so, so sorry...
> 
> Trigger warnings for:  
> Suicide  
> Depression  
> Sexual assault
> 
> I'M SORRY!!!!

There was no time to wait.

The second Alphys was still, she felt a burning sensation, one that travelled up from her hand, all the way up to her arm. It was very hot, and it made her body flood with it. The feeling worsened the longer she waited, symptoms changing faster than she could keep up with.

Her whole body broke into a sweat, and she shut her eyes, biting back a sound she knew was pointless; no one would hear it, so why waste the strength?

But she forgot that the second that burning suddenly hit her chest, because in that second, she was officially in hell.

She screamed. She knew she did. She couldn't control it. She felt it leave her, tearing her throat, just as her brain finally registered the pain.

When she stopped, she seemed to collapse, not realising that she'd arched back when she'd screamed. She still felt the pain, felt it spread from her heart, to throughout her whole body, bit by bit, bloodstream by bloodstream. It burned, everywhere her blood went.

By the time her whole body had finished taking it in, she was sobbing, begging it to stop, pleading that she would be good, she'd stop whatever she had done to deserve this pain, if it meant the pain ended. She spoke it aloud, her voice broken and slurred, near-incoherent, but she didn't care.

She forgot about everything: the remote for the IVs, the videos, the water, all of it. Her hands went to the collar of her shirt, and tore at it, feeling like it was strangling her, feeling like her whole body was being deprived of air…

Her body was not kind to her, either.

She begged for mercy for a long time, long enough to realise that it wasn't going to end, and that she was dying, and this was it. She even tried to find the remote, crying from pain with every movement, even _breathing_ , but her body's spasms had knocked it to the floor, and she couldn't find it.

Desperate, she reached out, trying to grab her cellphone, to break her promise not to involve anyone else, so that someone _would_ save her, _anyone_ , she didn't care, she just needed _someone_...

When she tried to reach out, her hand suddenly dropped, and before she could even wonder why, she felt the rest of herself go limp, too.

For a horrifying moment, her mind remained awake, paralysed within a body that was dying, that she was certain was melting, it felt like she was burning enough to melt...

 _No_...

It was her last coherent though, her final note in her song of regret.

Then, her mind fell, and everything went dark.

* * *

There were more flashes than these, more memories and emotions, but there were moments she remembered most...

* * *

“Alphys...”

She shook her head, burying her face into her arms.

_“Alphys!!”_

She felt herself pulled to her feet, a hand at her wrist, and she cried out, going limp within the person's grasp.

“Get up.”

She felt herself shaken, but she shook her head, her head falling forward, her chin upon her chest. It made her feel dizzy, and it hurt her stomach.

“Alphys, you _need_ to go to school, _now_. I'm not staying home for you, because you're _not_ sick.”

She _felt_ sick. Her whole body felt wrong. Something _was_ wrong...

“You're too old to be doing this, Alphys, and I don't have time for it. Believe it or not, there are more important things in this world than _you_.”

She was then flung back down, and she hit the floor hard, the breath knocked out of her. She just barely managed to open her eyes, just in time to see her mother leave, disappearing behind the concealed door, one that led to where her mother worked.

Alphys closed her eyes, then, the tears running hot down her cheeks.

She already knew that _everything_ was more important than her.

Her own mother, whom had just abandoned a teenager, whose appendix would burst two hours later, had made it quite clear.

“You're pathetic,” her mother sneered, just as Alphys had stirred awake, dizzy from anaesthetic.

Alphys stared at her, starting to cry. She'd been telling the truth. She'd lost her appendix. She'd almost died, on that same floor. And she _would_ have, if her mother hadn't come back to pick up a file left behind.

_If my own mother thinks I’m nothing, even when I’m dying, then I really must be nothing._

* * *

“Hey.”

Alphys flinched, but looked up, her eyes wary and her body hunched over. She couldn't meet his gaze. “H-hello.”

“Come in.”

Alphys hesitated. She knew she shouldn't. She knew he had a temper. She knew that this wasn't going to be pleasant. And she didn't want to be alone with him when it did.

 _But then again, maybe we can talk it out,_ said that soft part of herself, the one who'd given him a chance, especially when he said he would change, only for her, because she made him want to be good.

And she pretended he was good, and let him kiss her a few times, hating that her first kiss was wasted on him, someone she knew was only with her to use her, but she was using him, too, because her loneliness was killing her...

So she came in, and he shut the door behind her.

They went to his bedroom in the basement, a kind of semi-apartment, with a bedroom and place for a couch and TV, the very place he'd stolen those kisses, and a few very rough gropes at her breasts.

“You cheated on me,” she said, keeping her voice flat, her eyes on her feet.

She stood in the doorway, near the staircase back up, and he'd sat down – until she said that. When she did, he got to his feet.

She swallowed, keeping her eyes down. “That was all I asked you not to do,” she murmured, feeling anger burn within her belly.

Because it was true. It was all she had asked of him, and he couldn't even do that one simple thing.

“So, you're jealous?”

That anger gave her the courage to look up at him, then, her eyes burning.

“I'm _hurt_!” she answered. “It was all I _ever_ asked from you! Why do you enjoy hurting me so much?! _Why?!”_

Those words.

Those _last_ words.

“You think you're hurt?” he wondered. “I hurt you, because I decided to have fun, a good fuck with a friend, and not _you_?”

Alphys glared at him, shaking her head. The question was so absurd. She was too upset to speak, to bother to try to protest, because there was no point.

She'd known he was bad when she said yes, and it was her fault that she'd trusted him.

“You want me to fuck you?”

She shook her head, holding her hands up and close to her chest, feeling a sudden sinking in her gut, especially when she saw the expression on his face.

It was... _predatory_.

Cruel. Sadistic.

He really did enjoy her misery.

And she needed to leave, _now_.

Alphys stepped backwards, her eyes still on his, trying to edge back up the stairs before he lunged for her; the way he was watching her, the way he held his body, suggested that she should _not_ let him get close enough to touch her.

But she tripped, on the second stair, her heel sliding off the step and bringing her crashing onto the lower stair.

When that happened, he finally bolted forward, and he proved her right.

Because what he did to her was _beyond_ bad, then.

She didn't need to hear his taunts. She didn't need to be slapped so much. She didn't need to have her chest sat on, or his knees digging into her wrists. She didn't even need to watch him undo the front of his jeans.

She already knew she was wrong.

There _was_ no helping him. He would always be bad.

And he would have been _worse_ , had she not felt anger flare up within her, when as he leaned to the side and off of her, laughing at her, as she choked and tried to breathe. She just barely managing to roll onto her side before she suffocated, and threw up just in time, even as he still laughed at her.

And it angered her, those laughs. Her wrists hurt, she could barely catch her breath, and she could barely move.

But it was his laughter that made her fight back.

Because he mocked her, even now, for daring to believe he was, or ever could be, good.

When he moved to get up, he turned his back to her, certain she was broken, now – made clear when he chuckled as he did.

But surprisingly, she was _not_ broken.

She pushed herself up onto her knees, took a breath – and jumped up to her feet, grabbing her dropped bag and throwing herself toward that staircase, as fast as she could.

She heard him yelp, heard the sound of his belt, but she didn't turn around. She climbed up those steps, opened the door, and closed it, quickly, before escaping through the kitchen – and out the front door.

Even when her feet hit the sidewalk, she kept running, as fast as she could. It wasn't very fast, but apparently, it was fast enough, because when she ran out of breath and collapsed into some grass, her vision breaking out into black spots, he wasn't chasing her.

She grabbed her puffer and used it, just before she knew she would have passed out. It took three puffs, but when she came to, she was lying on her side in the grass, and her vision was clearing, her breaths slowing.

For a moment, she didn't move, shuddering with shock and adrenaline.

 _I can't tell anyone,_ she realised, her eyes filling with tears.

 _I can't say a word_.

She knew her mother would either not even care or – most likely – mock Alphys for being weak, for allowing herself to be used that way, when she'd known from the start that it was not a good idea.

And she was too terrified to go to the Guard, certain that they would mock her, too, or get her mother involved, which would anger her, take her from her work, make her fall behind...

Alphys's tears slowed, and she felt something within herself die. Her face went blank, and her whole body sagged, before she forced herself back onto her feet, and dragged herself back home, her expression as dead as she wished she already was.

* * *

_I can't do this, anymore..._

Alphys stood at the top of the waterfall of the abyss, the water soothing and cold against her tired and aching feet. She wore that same blank expression, the one she would never use again, after this, and stared down into the waters.

_Jump._

It was her own voice.

_Jump._

_Your life is meaningless._

_Look at your past._

_Your mother hated you for being alive, always kicking herself for never getting an abortion._

_She hated you so much that she would abandon_ _you, sometimes for months._

That was true. She did that often, by disappearing into the secret passage they lived in, going to the Lab, to work with the Royal Scientist, leaving Alphys alone the moment she was old enough to walk herself home from school.

_She died because of you. You killed her. You called the Lab, because you broke, and needed her, needed a mommy, despite never even having one, before._

The call had taken Alphys's mother back to the Lab, away from into the deepest room, one built around the actual CORE, itself, and one that – as an adult – Alphys never found.

It was where her mother and her predecessor did their most dangerous work. They had built it around the CORE for that reason.

_But she was talking to you, when Gaster fell into the CORE. She could have easily saved him, if she'd stayed where she'd been. But you called her away, and he fell._

_And so did she, only she fell on purpose, to follow him, instead of take care of you._

_You killed her._

“Yes,” she agreed aloud, her eyes closing. “Okay. It's time.”

She took one step forward, her next step the one that would throw her in, but she heard someone yell – before she was grabbed, pulled away and back onto the tiles.

Asgore.

She'd fainted, and he brought her to his own home. He'd made sure she was taken care of, while she recovered from a clear and complete breakdown.

And when she had, he offered her a job, the job that her mother's lover had occupied before her.

To work on the barrier.

* * *

_What you're doing, right now._

And that was what woke her.


	27. Chapter 27

Alphys fell silent, because she realised that, after she finished that part of her memory, Undyne had started to cry. It shut Alphys up, because it worried her.

By now, the medication had kicked in, and she was feeling sluggish but in a pleasant way. She felt sleepy, too, but kept waking herself up, and when she failed, Undyne woke her, usually while drifting off mid-sentence.

This was different.

Alphys reached up and touched Undyne's wet cheeks, her own eyes wavering when she saw how sadly Undyne looked at her. It surprised her, because Undyne had started crying during the one memory Alphys thought would have disgusted or repulsed her.

When Undyne began to understand what Alphys was describing, her eye flared and her face went pale, her lips quivering and her head shaking, wanting to stop her. But when she didn't, and kept speaking – Alphys had looked away, ashamed – Undyne kept crying, her heart cracking and fraying a little, because she'd never known. And it had made Undyne cry the hardest, because it hurt her, too.

Alphys had forgotten that she'd never told Undyne about it. But she'd already started, and knew Undyne would ask her to keep going, so she looked away, that shame rushing over her so freshly that she shivered, and finished.

“Alphy...” Undyne whispered, her hands going up and covering Alphys's.

Alphys suddenly expected her to pull them away, her concern suddenly replaced with terror, and _she_ went pale, her eyes widening and going glassy with that fear.

Undyne blinked, especially when Alphys shook her head. When Undyne pressed Alphys's hands closer against her face, Alphys's eyes closed, and she lowered her head, her whole body awash in tremors.

“Don't go,” Alphys pleaded. “Don't leave me. _Please_...”

Undyne was stunned, so stunned that her tears almost stopped.

“I-I know I’m disgusting, and I should've told you s-sooner, but we-we were doing so g-good, and the-the time was always wrong, or--,”

Undyne had slid closer to her as she spoke, and when she was close enough, she took hold of Alphys's face and kissed her lips still.

And Alphys clung to her, bursting into shocked tears, more stunned than Undyne, now, because she really hadn't meant to _ever_ tell Undyne – it had slipped out, long after she realised it – and she had fully expected Undyne to be sickened by her.

But Undyne had _kissed_ her, instead.

“I love you,” Alphys blurted out, still shocked.

She'd just confessed two of her worst secrets to Undyne, and was so certain that the marriage was off because of it. Instead, Undyne held her close, not hesitating even once, and didn't let her go. She cried, too, but not hard enough to keep from comforting Alphys – which made Alphys cry even harder.

It took a while, but soon, Alphys calmed down.

When she'd fallen to sniffles and soft, hiccup-like sobs, Undyne kept her close, not saying a word, not _needing_ to say a word. She was speaking in a language that Alphys had picked up from her rather quickly, and Alphys understood it at once - and accepted it.

“What _happened_ , Alphy?” Undyne whispered, her voice soft.

Alphys stirred fully awake, sent into a partial doze from both her sobs and the drugs. When she understood the question, she wanted to answer, aware that there was still the rest of the first secret to complete, but it made her anxious.

When she hesitated, Undyne met her gaze, and kept it, before she said, “Nothing you say next will make me leave you, Alphys. I know how this story ends, already, remember?”

Alphys stared at her, feeling so much at once. “Why...?” she wondered, her voice breaking.

“Because I love you, nerd,” Undyne replied, pressing her forehead against Alphys's, grinning a little.

Alphys was about to reply, but Undyne covered her mouth. “I love you because you're lovable, and that's the only reason I need.”

Then, she yelped, and pulled her hand away; Alphys had licked her palm, grinning.

Undyne grinned back, wishing she could tackle Alphys and cover her with kisses, but it needed to wait.

Instead, she pushed close and snuggled into Alphys's arms, her own arms around Alphys's waist, her cheek pressed against her breast.

Alphys smiled, pulling her closer, and for a moment, they just held each other, needing a moment to pause, to breathe, to look over what they'd been through and try to rebuild what was lost.

Then, Undyne whispered, “Go on?”

Alphys nodded.

* * *

Her eyes snapped open, the second she came to.

Alphys was panting, her whole body soaked in sweat, her clothes ripped in several places, and beneath those rips were scratches. She was lying on her back, her hands at her chest, and she felt that her fingers were sticky with blood.

 _I'm alive_ , she realised.

For a moment, as she tried to slow her breathing, she just remained still, her eyes closing and her body relaxing, though she still shuddered.

_I'm whole. I'm alive and whole. I didn't melt._

Her eyes stung, and tears slid down her pale cheeks, her eyes still closed.

 _I feel_ wonderful!

That was the true reason why she cried. While of course she _was_ actually overjoyed to still be alive, it wasn't enough to weep over.

The fact that, though it had hurt, she'd survived the injection, as well as woke up feeling incredible, meant that those monsters had a _chance_.

She reached up and covered her face, sobbing in earnest, now. She easily rolled over and onto her side, curling up into a ball, crying hard enough to ignore the unpleasant feeling of her wet clothes, or the stinging along her arms.

 _I was right._ She wasn't.

 _It gives life_. It didn't _._

 _I can save them!_ She would ruin them

She started laughing, then, a trace hysterical, now. She had no idea how much time had past, or if she could even walk, despite feeling like she could run. But when she started to wheeze a little, she managed to calm both her laughter and tears, and calm down her body, too.

When she had, she looked down at the floor, and saw the remote. Carefully, she leaned down and grabbed it, lying back down immediately, suddenly nervous.

But she remained whole.

She checked her hand, and found the IV was unharmed, which truly surprised her the most, out of everything else. But she accepted it, and activated the saline, realising that it _had_ been a while; her mouth was sticky and dry, and her throat was sore. She leaned over again and grabbed the bottle of water, taking slow sips as she remained on her side, popped up on one elbow to drink.

She looked up, and saw that the TV was still on, but was only a blue screen. She calculated how long the content on that tape was, and realised that it had been – at _least_ – six hours.

The water felt incredible, and she actually shivered with real pleasure when she drank it, as if all of her senses were enjoying it, too.

As she allowed her body time to recover a bit, still sipping from the bottle, she also allowed herself time to think.

_I feel wonderful, but I can tell I’m still kinda fragile..._

_Why did it hurt so badly, then?_

_Why did I have to relive all of those horrible memories?_

_They were all so sad; what was the point of them?_

_It won't hurt them; they won't feel it. Or if they do, maybe they'll wake up like I did._

_How am I still solid?_

_I'm alive. My body is in good shape. I didn't lack whatever is needed to make me stay solid._

That thought, and that thought, alone, was one she ruminate over, for several months. She would remember it, when her patients did melt, and realise that the damage-boost merely woke them up, but briefly.

Their bodies had been dying when she got to them. They didn't have the same amount of life that Alphys did, and thus were unable to keep their shape, partially crumbling with near-death until they connected with others, enough to stop the need for more.

That happened later.

Now, she grabbed her phone, and before she could even check the time or date, she saw her phone had messages, a few of them, from people she had befriended online but knew she would never meet.

 _I was gone long enough for them to notice,_ she realised.

She saw it as she sat scrolling down the list of names and messages. The newest were rather frantic, and she went lower down the list, and back in time, to go from terror, to concern, to anger and annoyance, and finally finishing with mere greetings or asking how she was.

And as she did, she saw how long she'd been out.

Four days.

It had been _four days._

She blushed, patting herself down, but she didn't have to: any dampness her clothes had collected was from sweat, alone.

She'd survived four days, isolated and hallucinating, without any food or water – or even saline – and also without – _somehow_ – losing control of her bladder.

And it was that, and that alone, that finally gave her hope.

“I _can_ do this,” she whispered, closing her eyes and lying back, ignoring the phone, for now. “I can save them.”

She would have a legacy, something wholly her own, and she would be _beloved_.

Her life would finally blossom into something good.

She wouldn't be lonely, anymore.

_Never again._


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. Everyone breathe. This chapter, and the next chapter, will make it better. <3

“And the worst part is that I was right,” Alphys sighed, stroking Undyne's hair slowly. “I was never alone after that. But...” She shrugged. “You know the rest. I'm any-anything _but_ beloved, esp-especially n-now.”

Undyne looked up at her, and saw that Alphys was smiling sadly, her eyes unfocused and dark. Undyne bit her lip, about to protest, about to ask more questions.

But it was true what she'd said: Undyne already knew how this story ended. She was living it.

_With Alphy._

_My life is tied to hers._

_I want to marry into this, to fix it._

_I want to make this problem die, to bring it out and throw it down._

_And then..._

She grinned, her next thought especially wonderful.

 _We're gonna be_ wives _, but just legally. In truth, we've been wives the moment we shared this bed._

_So, it's time for a smack-down._

_But before that... before that..._

_Before that, she's gotta know. She needs to know._

_She needs proof, that I’d die before I would ever leave her cute face behind, or let go of her hand – or push her hands away, while holding my heart..._

Undyne looked up, then moved up, to sit up a little and to get Alphys's attention – achieving both. Alphys looked up at her, surprised by the movement, Undyne's expression, and especially when Undyne propped herself up onto her hands – with Alphys lying in between both. Alphys's own hands went nervously to her chest, but they maintained eye contact.

Alphys started shaking, then, even before Undyne could say a word, and it concerned her. “Alphy...?”

“I-I-I...” Alphys tried, before she trailed off, realising that anything she said now would be incoherent. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to reassure herself that this _was_ real, and _not_ to cry, _or_ run away...

Undyne, however, misunderstood, and she whispered, “One to ten?”

Alphys's heart skipped, then, her eyes snapping open and meeting Undyne's, searching it with all that she was.

Undyne stared back, her face full of worry, but also of love, of devotion...

Of feelings Alphys couldn't yet name, or refused to believe was real.

Alphys tried. “Undyne, I-I just t-told you... I told you all of... _th-that_... B-but you're still here... _H-how_ can you be, _why_ are you...? I'm.... I...”

Her voice wasn't as clear as this, and carried a great deal more pauses and stammers, her voice thick.

She made sense to Undyne, however, whose sensitive ears twitched a little, to hear her better.

That made Alphys cry, then.

Not the words, or the caresses, or the obvious love and understanding in Undyne's eye, or even her asking what her pain level was at (though that last one made her heart ache with love).

No, it was that simple, innate twitch of her ears, that broke Alphys, a little.

_She wants to make sure she hears my every word..._

_She wants to listen to me..._

_No._

_She already_ hears _me._

_She has from the start._

It broke the ice around Alphys's heart, the ice she'd made to protect it, to keep it from being hurt as bad, like an icy shield. She'd thought she'd let it thaw, the moment Undyne kissed her cheek at the beach, but she hadn't. Not completely.

Now, however, that heart was finally exposed, and allowed to speak, and Alphys for once let it, instead of shutting it up. And because of that, she spoke from her soul, too, and her voice reflected the importance of every word she spoke.

“Undyne,” she said, her hands going up and touching Undyne's pink cheeks, the concern still there – especially now that Alphys was crying. “Undyne, do you have any idea how much you mean to me, right now, in this moment?”

Undyne was stunned. Alphys was crying, a great deal, and yet her words were _calm_. They were steady, and complete, and when her eye flicked between Alphys's, her mouth dried up, and she swallowed hard.

Alphys slid her hands down, from Undyne's cheeks, to her shoulders, before curving around her upper arms, her claws digging in a little.

“I've fucked up so badly,” Alphys went on, her tears non-stop. “I just told you that I pretty much _mutated_ myself.”

Her eyes went to the side, and she held up one hand, waving it as she spoke. “I-I just _OD'ed_ , in _front_ of you, and you didn't run away. You know all of this _disgusting_ stuff about me, now, _all_ of me, and you only want to make sure that I’m not in pain...”

Her voice gave out, then. It was fine – she was done – but she still covered her face, embarrassed, anyway.

Undyne closed her eye, her head dropping down a little, and she gritted her teeth. She always thought she was obvious, as transparent as glass, but whenever she expressed an emotion, most of all toward Alphys, being deliberately as open as possible. But she knew Alphys was still frightened of losing her, and because she thought she was too much for Undyne.

But Undyne was a strong monster. While she was slender and rather long-limbed, and when she did manage to finally get _some_ muscle definition in her twenties, it still didn't truly show how strong she really was.

However, Undyne was also mentally _and_ emotionally strong. She had some trauma, with the loss of her parents _and_ her own eye, and it was true and real, but she felt like it was _peanuts_ compared to what she knew about Alphys, now. She knew that it wasn't a competition, that Alphys's pain didn't mean she deserved more love than Undyne.

Undyne _did_ deserve love. And she knew Alphys treated all of Undyne's hurts – physical and emotional – as though she were _very_ hurt, and fussed a great deal, something Undyne rather enjoyed.

Undyne remembered all of the times that Alphys had comforted her, and realised that, in comparison, Undyne had _never_ comforted Alphys when they were friends – not like _she_ was comforted by _Alphys_ – and was only now able to try and catch up.

Except Undyne realised she never _could_ catch up, and even if she could, Alphys wouldn't want that from her.

Because _Alphys_ thought that _she_ was the one who was still catching up to _Undyne_.

“Oh, _Alphy_ …” Undyne whispered, reaching down and pulling her hands away from her face, one-by-one. “Alphy, hey...” Undyne touched her cheek, keeping herself up on one hand. “Hey, please look at me? Please?”

Alphys kept her eyes closed, shaking her head. She knew how beautiful Undyne looked right now, despite the lingering worry and fear from before, and knew she didn't deserve to see her.

 _“Please, Alphy...”_ Undyne whispered, leaning down and nuzzling Alphys's cheek with her own, something that made Alphys stay still – a good sign. Undyne smiled and nuzzled her other cheek, and Alphys returned it, that time, her hands tentatively touching Undyne's forearms.

"Alphy, I know you feel like you don't deserve to look at me," she murmured. "But... I deserve to look at you, don't I...?"

When Undyne pulled away, Alphys opened her eyes. Her hold upon Undyne's arms became more confident, and when Undyne pressed her forehead to hers, Alphys sniffled and nodded a little, biting down on her bottom lip.

“Hi,” Undyne said gently, smiling faintly, “How are you feeling? Hungry? Sick?”

Alphys stared up at her, her face slowly turning red, her eyes widening with surprised confusion. She shifted a little, realising that the biggest feeling she had right now was indeed hunger, but of a _different_ kind, one that honestly surprised her, given what had just happened.

 _What is_ wrong _with me...?_ she thought, sniffling again. Her eyes went to the bedside clock, and saw that it had been at least an hour since she'd started talking, and she felt fine. _Better_ than fine, even.

She felt... _lighter_ , and in a way no drug could make her feel – though it did help. She felt like the years-long burden of that single injection had finally lifted, despite knowing that this wasn't even close to being over, yet – especially if she was forced to go public with it, or with what she planned to do.

But all of that felt... Well, truly a little nerve-wracking, yes. Yet bearable, too. She was frightened of judgement, terrified of being hurt, again, but when she realised that she had nothing else to hide, anymore, she felt... so much better. Like she could still do it, and not be hurt by _any_ of it.

Because no one would be able to ambush or expose her, anymore. There was nothing left to expose, save that, and she planned to she reveal what she'd done to herself, now, anyway. 

 _And_ , she added to herself, her mind going so fast that her eyes unfocused, and it worried Undyne a little.

_And what I plan to do, next, with that answer I found, in that murky river, maybe it will all work out...?_

“Alphy?”

Alphys's eyes focused, and she swallowed hard, her eyes welling up with fresh tears, the second they met Undyne's.

And then, Alphys _smiled_.

It was real, and it was bright. It spoke of pain, of loneliness, of near-insanity and desperation, of needing to understand why she was alive and in this world at all, when she wasn't even wanted from the _start_...

Undyne's whole body responded to it, in a very, _very_ good way, and she lowered her head, hiding her face with her hair for a moment, overwhelmed. She felt her blood go hot, and heat up every part of her; but most of all, she felt her heart heal, and her eyes water...

But then, Undyne raised her head, and grinned back, even as they _both_  smiled and cried. She saw that Alphys was red, too, and knew that, once again, they didn't need words.

Save a precious few, spoken weakly, thick with love _and_ lust.

 _“Zero,”_ Alphys murmured, her hands going back to Undyne's face, her thumbs brushing those tears away. “Zero out of ten--,”

Undyne kissed her, almost before she could finish, but she didn't care. Alphys kissed back, her arms going around Undyne's neck, her hands pushing her hair back gently, making Undyne shiver.

Carefully, without pause and knowing she had permission to, Undyne used one hand to start unbuttoning the front of Alphys's pyjama-top, her fingers nimble and without error. When she saw Alphys's eyes spark and blaze, she shivered, again, breaking away to bury her face into Alphys's neck. Her hand started pushing Alphys's top apart, before it slipped between them, and its palm cupped one of Alphys's breasts, so softly, so gently...

Alphys closed her eyes, arching a little and tilting her head back, her hands buried into Undyne's hair. She sighed, deeply, still smiling, unable to _stop_ smiling, because every part of her that Undyne touched warmed up and relaxed, and with comfort.

“Please,” Undyne whispered, then, sliding her tongue down from Alphys's neck, along her collarbone, before snaking it between Alphys's breasts.

Alphys was the one shivering, now, and she nodded, her legs parting. Undyne shifted between them, and Alphys closed them around Undyne's narrow hips, bringing Undyne flat against Alphys, making them both grunt and sigh.

 _“Please...!”_ said Alphys, this time, her tail thumping happily against the mattress, her whole body suddenly _aching, needing_ Undyne so _very much..._

Undyne raised her head, just as Alphys opened her eyes, and again, they looked at each other, breathing fast and clinging tight.

Alphys was about to repeat herself, but Undyne darted up quickly and kissed her lips, before she could, her free hand curving back around Alphy's hot cheek.

It was an excellent start, to what would be a stunning finish.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops. Lots of words.
> 
> NSFW

It went very, very slow. Not _too_ slow, but not too fast, either (though, admittedly, both had trouble with each one, in different times, but managed fine).

Undyne took her time stripping Alphys naked, her own body never too far away from hers, before she could get cold. Each time something left Alphys's skin exposed, Undyne replaced it with her lips, and she could feel how good it felt for Alphys, even though she'd barely said a word.

It was true. Alphys's brain, still soaked in morphine, could feel nothing but bliss; even when she did feel twinges of pain, she was able to shake them off, before Undyne even noticed. Time slowed down for Alphys, everything dreamlike, yet also bright and real, to her darkened eyes.

By the time Undyne had Alphys down to her underwear, they were both panting, feeling the same thing: urgency. Urgency and need. Undyne growled, her face buried right into Alphys's stomach, closing her eye and grinning from how wonderful that felt – though she was careful, and kept to her left side.

At this point, Alphys wasn't sure she would've felt anything if Undyne _had_ done that to her right side; her whole body was hot, when before it had felt so icy cold, and chilling, and could feel the same rise of temperature in Undyne, too, especially when she'd growled. Alphys both gasped and giggled, squirming beneath Undyne and tilting her head back, and Undyne couldn't take it, anymore – seconds before Alphys was about to say the same thing.

Undyne lifted herself up onto her knees and threw her pyjama top over her head, actually throwing it behind her and forgetting about it at once (it landed on the doorknob of the dresser; both were impressed by it). Alphys was trying to sit up and help, when Undyne stood up and slid both her pants and her underwear off. Alphys laughed, especially when the clothing crashed into the lamp. (Its fall was cushioned by the clothes, funnily enough.)

Undyne grinned wildly, sinking back down to her knees, and Alphys welcomed her, holding her arms out to her and smiling, her tail already curving around Undyne's thigh.

But Undyne forgot she'd left Alphys's underwear on, and the moment they both noticed, they'd almost started. When Alphys frowned, realising it felt weird, Undyne raised her head – and remembered why, blushing. She made it count, though; she kissed her way back down, from Alphys's neck, to the waistband of her underpants, pausing there.

Alphys, however, frowned more; she knew what Undyne wanted to do, and was flattered, but it wasn't what she wanted – or _needed_. She sat up a little, and Undyne's eye glinted, misunderstanding it and seeing it as a yes. She slid the underwear down slowly, but when she was about to throw them off and dive in, Alphys reached down and touched her shoulder, gasping and shaking her head.

Undyne sat up, nodding, and bit her lip, placing her hands on Alphys's knees. Alphys blinked, confused, but realised that _Undyne_ was confused.

“How bad? One to ten?” Undyne asked, between short breaths, her face still red.

But her expression was sombre, and she kept herself as still as possible, her eye on Alphys's face without pause.

Alphys closed her eyes, lowering her head for a moment, before she raised it, again.

When their eyes met, Alphys said, “Zero,” and again, Undyne was confused.

Alphys smiled, touching Undyne's cheek. “Undyne,” she whispered, trying so hard to bite her tears back, but it was impossible, not when Undyne looked at her like _that_.

“I'm f-fine. I-I want...” She swallowed hard, and her hand went to Undyne's upper arm, trying to pull her closer.

Undyne went crimson, unaware of how much she'd wanted to hear that until she did. It was true that she did want to start with going down on Alphys, and would've loved doing so.

But they both knew why they preferred _this_ : because this was as close as they could be, and had been, for a week that felt like _months_...

Speechless, Undyne slid Alphys's underwear off at last, before she moved back between her legs, leaning most on Alphys's left side, her knee going between Alphys's legs, first – and again, from the left.

Alphys blinked, but Undyne kissed her – while also keeping herself propped up and away from Alphys's middle and chest. Alphys kissed back for a moment, waiting for Undyne to relax atop her, but instead, Alphys felt Undyne's fingers reach between them.

Alphys grabbed her wrist, stopping her, again. This time, Undyne didn't assume, but she did go still, nodding, again.

Alphys stared up at her, sniffling a little, before she said, “Undyne, pl-please, you won't hurt me...”

Undyne shook her head. “I'm not taking any chances, Alphy,” she answered, surprising Alphys; she'd expected an agreement.

“Okay,” Alphys agreed, touching her cheek. “Lie down, then? That way, you don't have to worry about hurting me, o-okay?”

Undyne again went crimson, swallowing hard and grinning, nodding even as she did so. Alphys giggled a little, finding it so sweet and cute, especially when she remembered _why_.

Both knew by now that Alphys liked it best on top, but remained too shy to request it. Undyne eventually caught on, and purely by accident; she'd asked if Alphys could sit up, and Alphys wonderfully misunderstood, and hungrily straddled her. And when _that_ happened, well...

And even despite that, afterwards, Alphys _still_ didn't ask, despite remembering how happy and aroused it made Undyne.

She was simply too shy, and thus left Undyne to often assume, and pull her atop of herself – and Undyne would  _always_ be right.

The second Alphys had stopped protesting and relaxed, she became someone else, her true, sexual self, and it was someone Undyne often _craved_...

Therefore, to not only have it be Alphys's idea, but Alphys, herself asking it, as well as asking it without hesitation, made Undyne almost come on the spot, _again_ , so excited by it, by Alphys, that her grin remained permanent.

Alphys knew. She knew, and was glad Undyne was happy. Her  _courage_ was new, and while it was true that some of it was medication, the rest was... vulnerability. Need.

That same urgency, one that refused to be ignored...

 _Because I’m still alive,_ she thought, her eyes never leaving Undyne's glowing face, as she moved to straddle Undyne, preferring to when she topped; she found the friction between their flesh and Undyne's pelvic bone absolutely maddening.

Undyne craved the Alphys that topped, that ruled the bed, who called all the shots unless either said no. And Alphys craved the freedom it gave her; the ability to forget her body's flaws, and just grind and push and shift, alongside the body of her beloved, whose body seemed perfectly made for her, something Undyne agreed with her, about, too...

When Alphys relaxed for a moment, leaning down and pressing flat against her, Undyne jumped and tried to move back.

“Alphy!” she yelped, especially when Alphys ignored her – and buried her face into Undyne's neck, her face hot.

Then, Alphys said the only thing Undyne needed to hear, to finally relax.

_“Trust me...”_

Undyne did, so much. And she knew that by doing this, Alphys was telling her how much _she_ was trusted, too. She nodded, her hands going to Alphys's hips, her fingers sinking into their soft, fleshy plumpness, and Alphys purred against her skin, making her shudder.

“Alphys, god, _please_ ,” Undyne hissed out, her nails biting into Alphys's skin – but in a way Alphys liked, and had felt many times, before.

Alphys moved one of her hands down, shifting her hips and slipping her fingers between them, the tips lingering over the slick folds of Undyne's cunt, very slowly. Undyne dug her heels into the bed, sitting up a little and gritting her teeth, her head falling forward.

“Oh, god, _Alphy_ , I swear, I _swear_ ,” Undyne gasped out, but instead of saying silly threats unless they started fucking, she said the complete opposite. “I swear, I’ll take the pain away, I swear, I _really_ do, I really _will_ , Alphy, please, _please_...”

“ _Shhh,”_ Alphys whispered, her lips brushing against Undyne's and making them both shiver. “I know... You _always_ do... I promise...”

“Then... I really _do_ deserve you...” she answered, surprising them both – especially with how thin her voice was, like glass about to shatter.

Alphys nodded, shifting her hips again – and moving her hand away, just as she lowered herself back down, her tail curling around Undyne's thigh. Their flesh touched, and both held their breath, just before Alphys shifted down, and Undyne shifted up. Both felt sparks of pleasure slip through them, the friction between their clits intense and sharply felt – but in a _good_ way. A very, _very_ good way.

Undyne was still overwhelmed by Alphys's initiative, and she laid back down, tilting her head back and shutting her eyes, rolling her hips up, just as Alphys pressed down close, and met it in just the right way.

“Yes,” Alphys murmured, her eyes closed and her face buried into the curve of Undyne's neck, one hand reaching up and pushing her hair from their faces, the other holding Undyne's shoulder, her claws digging in a bit. “Like _that_ , _just_ like that, _slow_...”

Undyne grunted out a short cry, before forcing herself to slow down, knowing it would be worth it the longer they waited, instead of always rushing herself for quick and delicious pleasure. She wanted to savour this, too.

Alphys felt it the second Undyne slowed to match her pace, and she shuddered, moving her face up and kissing Undyne's lips, just as one of Undyne's hands reached up to touch her cheek, and bring her closer to do the same.

Like their lovemaking, their kisses where slow, words mingling between each one, as half-spoken thoughts, urgent pleas, or just the sound of each other's names, and yet everything was understood between them.

Undyne was still nervous about Alphys's right side, and made sure her hands stayed away from the now-bandaged stitches. Alphys did accommodate, as she, too, didn't want to burst a stitch, but it was still distracting them both, and it was ruining the mood.

Almost.

Alphys frowned, again, then had an idea. She pushed herself up and sat up, her hands at Undyne's shoulders. She stopped them both for a moment, which made Undyne groan a little, both from regret _and_ relief: that had almost made her come, again, and if Alphys had moved a _second_ more, she would have.

Alphys caught her breath for a moment, then opened her eyes and started back up, again, keeping it slow but making sure it would count.

Their eyes met, again.

Undyne's whole face was red, as were her ears and neck. She beamed up at Alphys, loving to see her this way, seeing her like this maybe once or twice, and wishing it were more. When Alphys was on top, and was positioned like _this_ , Undyne adored it - and her. There were even times she would _dream_ about it...

There was just _something_ about the way Alphys looked from this angle, the way her curves and scars and stretchmarks seemed to settle just right, in a way that made Undyne want to drool (and truthfully, was doing so, now).

Plus, the fact that Alphys took control, and Undyne was at her mercy, was extra-hot, because she not only loved a more confident Alphys, but also adored to give up control to her. Undyne knew that Alphys would never, ever break that trust, keenly aware that, sometimes, Undyne was _sick_ of _making_ orders, and preferred _taking_ them...

And finally, the most important thought at this moment: _Alphys is so goddamned_ gorgeous _when on top and in charge..._

Alphys, herself, was red, but hers spread further down, to her chest. Sometimes, she looked away shyly, or closed her eyes, but found that her usual reason for both was different. She wasn't trying to hide; she was just so emotional, so aroused, so hungry and needy, that if she looked at Undyne, and saw the way she looked back at Alphys, she'd lose it.

Which resulted in that loss happening rather quickly, both well beyond aroused, by now; Undyne was almost _crying_ for release...

Later, both would give the other a sly shrug of, “Oh well, we _tried_ ,” but now, were both feeling how starved they'd both been, and while they had lasted their longest, yet, it was still probably shorter than "average".

Neither cared.

The sooner the first round was done, the sooner the second round could begin.

Alphys thus cried out, “Undyne, I’m--I'm sorry, I-I c-can't h-hold it b-back, I _can't_!”

“ _Really?!”_ Undyne answered, her voice strained – but hopeful. “You sure? How long?”

Alphys gritted her teeth, her claws digging into Undyne's shoulders, uttering only a low, soft moan: her answer.

Undyne's heart leapt, and she quickly reached up and grabbed hold of Alphys's face, just as she was starting to cry out. She still did, the sounds merely muffled, and Undyne quickly sat up with her. Alphys gasped and wrapped around her, her claws digging into Undyne's back, and Undyne's eye rolled up, squeezing closed for a moment.

Alphys's whole body started to tremble, alongside her shocked cries, getting louder with each push against Undyne, who was watching her eagerly - something that made Alphys dizzy with need.

The second she started to come, Alphys reeled back, her whole body slowly filling with that unmistakable wave of pleasure. Her cries were incoherent, nonsensical sounds, but they escaped between lips curved into a real smile.

That smile broke Undyne's hold completely, though she knew she'd been really close, already. She shuddered, her eye closing again, before she buried her face into Alphys's neck and lost her own control – over her voice, her body, her entire _soul..._

She began laughing, in between shocked, muffled gibberish, feeling that sweet pleasure that only Alphys could give her. She felt Alphys's claws break skin, and it made her come even _harder_ , not even feeling them hurt her.

Soon, Undyne felt her _mind_ blissing out, and she surrendered to Alphys happily, her laughs growing softer as those waves faded...

Alphys dropped her head forward, again, her claws scrabbling at Undyne's back, scratching a little, her tail tightening around Undyne's leg. Undyne’s legs relaxed, her knees still shaking, her heels now a little numb. Alphys went limp in her arms, gasping for breath - but in a safe way, luckily.

Undyne took hold of Alphys, who was now clinging to her tight, her body heavy and hot, sweaty and red, but her face so, _so_ _happy_...

Undyne then gently leaned back, to lie back down with Alphys in her arms. Alphys shifted a little, but not by much, and barely felt it when Undyne tossed the duvet over them, her moves clumsy.

They curled up together, leaving only Alphys's right side untouched, and fell asleep, minutes apart.

It had, indeed, been worth the wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See? Isn't that nice and better?


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More softness. But SFW.

Undyne woke up slowly, unaware that she was even doing so until she felt her eye open on its own. She blinked it a few times, then rubbed the gunk out of it; clearly, she'd slept for a while - confirmed when she saw that the sun was up.

That thought made Undyne grin, and roll over onto her side, her hand instinctively reaching for Alphys.

For a moment, her hand simply touched blanket and mattress. She opened her eye, again, and found that Alphys was still there, but she was a complete ball, her face hidden by the duvet.

Something about it, though, made Undyne pause, worried. She reached out and lightly touched Alphys's back.

Nothing happened.

Undyne felt that worry overcome her, still so – literally and figuratively – gun-shy and nervous, terrified that something had gone bad in the night, while she'd slept.

_Did she take too much meds?_

_Did she open her stitches?_

_Was the sex way too much?_

_Is it... fever, again...?_

And truly, of all of them, that was the most likely culprit, remembering what the doctor had said, and that was the one she at least knew she could handle, now.

Therefore, when she moved, next, she was quick, sitting up and leaning over, touching Alphys's blanket-covered shoulder and nudging her a little; at least she was lying on her left side. She twitched her ears forward, keeping her head hovering just centimetres from Alphys's, and listened.

She could hear soft, raspy breathing, and fear stabbed her gut, her hand's hold on Alphys's shoulder tightening. She was so scared that she didn't think to note that Alphys didn't feel hot, or sweaty, or even shaky. All she cared about was being able to see those eyes, open and on her own, focused and lighting up the second she knew for sure that it was Undyne...

“Alphy!” she cried out, leaning down and moving to press close, so that she could hold Alphys and pull the blanket back from her face, worried she was suffocating on it...

Alphys, however, jumped awake the second she heard her name, and her eyes snapped open, fear glazing over them. For that moment, she was more terrified than Undyne, because she had no idea where she was, yet. She wasn't awake enough.

But her pain was, and before she could try to understand, she made a brief but loud shriek of pain, her whole body going rigid from it. She forgot to breathe, for too long, and when she tried to, everything went white and numb.

Undyne knew exactly what was wrong, now, and felt guilty for her part in it. But she shoved it aside, leaning carefully around Alphys to the nightstand, and grabbed the new puffer they'd been given – before she hesitated, even when she felt Alphys clumsily try to find it on her own, choking a little.

Undyne gritted her teeth and put it back, instead taking out the old one from the drawer. Quickly, just as Alphys's face was going pale, Undyne sat Alphys up, held her chin up gently, and slipped a finger between her lips, trying to prise her jaws apart.

Alphys didn't understand, accidentally biting down on it, but Undyne barely felt it, and left her finger between her teeth, ignoring the sting of it. She used her thumb to keep her lips parted, and automatically, Alphys managed to wrap them around the puffer's opening, still biting Undyne's finger without knowing it.

“Alphy, if you can hear me, be ready in three.” Undyne wasn't sure she could; her eyes were closed, her face bloodless, and her head remained limp within Undyne's grip, as did her whole body.

“C'mon, baby,” she urged, kissing Alphys's cold forehead, knowing that chill was a bad sign. “Can you hear me? On three?”

Alphys _couldn't_ respond. Any air she managed to get was brief, drowned by the severity of her pains, and she was starting to lose it, the white being replaced with black.

But she heard Undyne, just barely. And when Undyne reached three and pressed down on the puffer, Alphys desperately inhaled, the sound thin and obstructed.

Despite that, however, it worked. She hadn't managed to get a full dose, and Undyne knew the other one was stronger, but it still helped. That fading feeling faded in on itself, and she felt herself break out into shivers. She tried to ask for more, but still couldn't.

Undyne knew, though. She could tell, herself. She shook the puffer, again, and replaced it, and when she suddenly felt the painful pressure from her finger ease, Undyne's eye closed, the relief immense.

“On three,” she repeated.

And on three, Alphys breathed it in.

It took a third dose for her to completely come to, and Undyne did feel bad about it, knowing the one they'd been given was stronger, and one puff would have done it.

But Undyne was scared of it, even as she listened to Alphys gain control over herself, and knew that each breath hurt her, however needed it was.

Alphys slowly opened her eyes, once her breathing had evened out, but she remained in Undyne's lap. She reached up, her hand limp and heavy, and awkwardly tried to touch Undyne's cheek, wanting to show her that she was grateful, but unable to say it aloud, yet.

Undyne understood, anyway, and put the puffer aside, instead holding Alphys closer and lying them both back down. She moved to replace the duvet, but Alphys stopped her; she felt overheated and anxious, now, despite her nudity, and couldn't pin down why. She felt Undyne caress her head, felt her press soft kisses to any bare patch of skin she could find, and despite how awful her body felt, her heart and soul felt at peace.

“Alphy,” Undyne whispered, resting her chin on Alphys's shoulder, to look at her, better. Alphys nodded, swallowing hard, trying to replace her hand upon Undyne's cheek.

Before Undyne could ask – and she was about to – Alphys said, “Nine...” Her voice was tiny, ragged around the edges, like she'd lost her voice, and she had trouble keeping her eyes open.

She felt Undyne kiss the back of her head, before she moved away to grab to pill tray. She realised that it was – surprisingly – _late_ morning, and Alphys needed this medication, and _now_. Luckily, Undyne always kept a litre of water at her bedside, needing it at least once each night, and she grabbed it alongside the meds – including half of a morphine pill.

Alphys nodded, trying to sit up, again, but again, Undyne stopped her, and instead held her hand out to her. Alphys scooped up the pills in her palm and took them, and Undyne gave her the water bottle – one that had a built-in straw.

Alphys looked so grateful and relieved at that, that it almost made Undyne cry. But she swallowed it back, just as Alphys swallowed those meds, and when Alphys gave it back, Undyne replaced the tray and the water bottle.

Then, she curled around Alphys, again, this time skin-to-skin, and both sighed deeply and closed their eyes. _That_ was something Alphys would always be grateful for: Undyne, simply holding her, touching her with soft fingers, drifting their tips over each curve and bend.

It always made Alphys feel... _special_.

Almost as if she were precious and beautiful, especially when Undyne simply remained quiet, her eye closed and her face buried into Alphys's shoulder, kissing it only once and a while, and very lightly, at that.

Alphys needed it. She needed that ticklish pleasure, right now. She needed to feel something _good_ , something wonderful and loving, and now, she was. It cut through the agony of her pains, the kind that made her flash unpleasantly hot while shivering with cold, or vice versa, and there was no method to such madness, no pattern to prepare to match, to defend herself against it.

Save _this_.

It broke through, and it kept Alphys quiet, too, though, as they waited, she did cry, and a great deal. Hers was a pain that could not be shrugged off, and required her to listen to it. It was cruel, and it hurt.

But Undyne's touches chased each wave away.

Therefore, when she actually _did_ start to feel relief, she sighed, a long, deep exhale of all of the breaths she'd kept within herself, terrified of the possibility of her lung collapsing, again. Now that she felt relief, and could begin to take control back over her breathing, she began to relax, too.

Undyne hadn't stopped touching her the entire time, her fingertips trailing over almost every part of her, except her wounds, and between her legs. And it was starting to mingle with the morphine, making Alphys almost _yearn_ for those fingers moving between her legs. But even _she_ knew it was a bad idea, right now; she was very fragile, and while it had been slow, their lovemaking had been exhausting, and she was feeling it, now.

“Alphy?”

Alphys blinked her eyes open slowly, but was disappointed; Undyne's face was angled away from her. She nodded.

At that, Undyne was the one relaxing, as well as actually calming down. She'd been on edge the whole time – over half an hour, now – and made sure Alphys stayed awake, or, if she drifted off, again, fell into a safe sleep. When she felt Alphys suddenly seem to deflate in her arms, and knew she was safe, Undyne did, too, her eye closing as it filled with tears. And when she felt that nod, she was speechless for a moment, unaware of how afraid she'd truly been until now.

 _“Fuck,”_ Undyne hissed out, her voice thick with tears she knew were pointless to hide. “One to ten?”

Alphys smiled a little, oddly charmed by the cussing. It meant Undyne was herself, again, now that they were home, and knew she finally could relax, if Alphys could, too.

Alphys bit her lip, her own eyes welling up, before she answered. “I f-feel... okay. It pinches instead of st-stabs, now.”

Undyne was actually disappointed. “But you're still in pain!”

Alphys was calm, though. “The-the mor-morphine... it's only now just starting to work,” she explained. “Once I absorb more, especially if I eat within the hour, it'll kick in fully.”

She blushed. “Please don't let me pass out onto a plate of food, please.”

Undyne laughed, then, shocking them both.

Alphys was being serious, but had worded it that way, because she'd _wanted_ Undyne to laugh, though she'd expected to fail. 

Undyne laughed, not just because it was funny, and cute to imagine, but also because, right then, it was _Alphys_ who sounded like herself, again.

And nothing delighted Undyne more than when Alphys was herself, and not what she thought Undyne wanted her to be.

“Name it,” Undyne replied, nuzzling against Alphys's cheek, and making her giggle and shiver. “I'll get you anything, make you anything, steal you anything--,”

Alphys had reached up and covered her mouth to stop her, but Undyne merely licked her palm, finally getting her revenge, and it was Alphys who yelped – before giggling again, moving that hand to Undyne's cheek.

When Undyne made a face and whined, her cheek now smeared with her own saliva, thanks to that, Alphys laughed, a deep laugh.

At the same time, not long after, they both heard it, Alphys noticing it alongside Undyne, and she went silent for a moment.

Because Alphys's tail was thumping happily against the mattress, sometimes flicking up and smacking Undyne a few times with it.

At that, Undyne suddenly burst into tears, hiding her face in Alphys's back.

Alphys started to turn around, but Undyne stopped her, instead moving herself over Alphys to lie in front of her, not touching or jarring Alphys even a little. Alphys shifted back, taking Undyne's spot, and Undyne moved closer, burying her face into Alphys's shoulder and resuming her tears, her hands on Alphys's cheeks.

Alphys pulled her closer, something Undyne didn't fight, and buried her own face into Undyne's hair, understanding her, immediately – and starting to cry, too, but softer.

Neither needed to say _why_ it had made them cry. Some things were understood better without words, and both already knew, and knew the _other_ knew; together, they knew words were pointless.

So when Alphys curled her tail around Undyne's thigh, tightly, Undyne felt her heart heal even more, and refused to let go of Alphys for several minutes.

Which was fine for Alphys; she didn't want to be anywhere else but here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me for sporadic updates, lately; I'm having a bit of a bad go, right now, and I'm having difficulty staying distracted and calm. This could mean severe delays, or it could mean too many updates. It depends on how hard I land when I fall. 
> 
> Other than that, I do hope to finish this by the end of the year, but at this point, I doubt I can. So please forgive me that, too, if possible.
> 
> Thanks for understanding.


	31. Chapter 31

When either could, their eyes met, and when both saw that the other's tears had either calmed or stopped, they moved closer.

It was Alphys who kissed Undyne, because she was afraid that if Undyne did it, first, she wouldn't let her stop. And Alphys wasn't quite sure if she was up to more of what that usually led to.

Undyne knew this, though, and while she did let it linger, she was also the one who pulled away, first. She grinned, and Alphys smiled back, blinking slowly, almost sleepily.

“Ah,” Undyne observed, her voice soft. She reached up and touched Alphys's cheek.

As expected, Alphys closed her eyes and leaned into it, her face turning pink.

Undyne silently counted down in her head, bringing her other hand up to her other cheek, and Alphys shuddered and relaxed, her smile widening into one of deep contentment.

Then, on one, Undyne heard it: Alphys was wagging her tail, again. It was a little slow, but still true, and it made Undyne happier.

Undyne poked her nose, and Alphys opened her eyes. “Dopey,” she observed, her smile as soft as her touch, now.

Alphys nodded, her cheeks reddening. “S-sorry,” she admitted. Her tail hadn't stopped, because she had yet to catch up. “I-I...”

Then, sadly, her tail stopped, and her expression fell. She reached up and touched Undyne's cheeks, her eyes searching Undyne's face carefully.

Undyne looked tired, and a bit concerned, especially so when Alphys's expression fell. But she met her eyes with her own, and it didn't waver. There was no lingering fear, or - what Alphys was looking for - resentment.

She always underestimated Undyne, but not as an insult. Rather, she did it so that she would always be prepared for having her hopes dashed.

Except that Undyne always went above and beyond her expectations, every time.

Just like right now.

She'd also expected judgement in that eye, for needing to depend on the drug, but she realised she was projecting; it was she, and not Undyne, who judged her use of morphine – _especially_ after yesterday.

“Are you hungry?” Undyne asked, her expression soft and happy, her hand now stroking Alphys's forehead and scalp. It made her purr, and cuddle closer, before she even registered her own actions. It also set her tail going, again, which made them both relax, and Undyne held her as close as possible.

Alphys then nodded against Undyne's chest, her face buried between her small breasts rather happily, and it made Undyne laugh.

“Let's have _food_ , love,” Undyne joked, pulling Alphys's face away from her chest with a grin.

Alphys grinned back, her eyes warm and full of emotion, one Undyne realised was unguarded, for the first time. It made Undyne blink in shock, because she'd had no idea there were any left. The way that Alphys looked at her, now, made it clear that there was, because Undyne now saw what she'd never known was missing.

Now, she saw what Alphys had hidden, and wondered why, because all she saw was... love and devotion. She'd seen both, before, and had recognised them for what they were, but again, now that she was seeing this, she knew just how much Alphys _had_ been holding back – even in the hospital.

“Holy _shit_...” Undyne whispered, her smile fading as her eye darted between Alphys's.

Alphys blinked, her own smile vanishing, and she looked confused and worried, now.

But she still saw that love, in the way Alphys's eyes widened a little whenever she saw Undyne, how their translucent colour would darken, only now, deeper, almost a grey-blue kind of colour.

Alphys had no idea that she looked this way, because she'd never looked in a mirror without those shields, and least of all without seeing the ones always around her heart and soul, that loving part that she refused to give to herself...

Undyne's eyes filled with tears, before she pulled Alphys's face to her own and kissed her, deeply, passionately, and with as much love and devotion that she had, too, so that Alphys knew that Undyne felt the same about Alphys.

Alphys's confusion lifted, and her eyes fluttered closed, returning the kiss and keeping her hands resting between Undyne's breasts, between them and over her heart. Undyne's message was clear to her, now, especially when she remembered how her heart had completely thawed, after decades of keeping it frozen enough for her not to expect anything good.

It had thawed in the hospital, true. But last night, after what they'd done, her heart was actually warm, itself; it had been chilled, still, when they got home, but was now warm, and beating true.

Beating for Undyne, but _also_ herself.

“Yes,” Undyne suddenly whispered against her lips, surprising her. She hadn't spoken any of her thoughts aloud, and didn't understand how Undyne understood.

But Undyne had felt it, likely because of where Alphys kept her hands.

Every monster's heart was their soul, and vice-versa. Pains to the soul hurt monster hearts, but the heart's physical _and_ emotional pains can weaken the soul, as well. It was part of why they lacked Determination; the soul and heart are connected, and the soul is used for magic. Every spell takes a small toll from its caster, and all monsters are born knowing how precious a soul is, which makes them hesitate to use it - especially to fight, and hurt someone else's soul, too. 

Without knowing it, in her state from both medicine and love toward Undyne, Alphys's heart and soul had _blazed_ , so much that Undyne could sense it, the idea of those emotions, and understand them, enough to reply aloud.

Alphys started shaking, the surprised intimacy making her feel both exposed and shocked. Because while she was an avid reader of all kinds of fiction, and adored romance the most, she'd always thought that this sort of connection between monsters sharing love was that: pure fiction.

But Undyne was unsurprised, because for her, she never saw use in hiding anything, save weakness, so her soul was always open and receptive. This had been the first time something like that had happened to her, too, despite that, but her surprise was pleasant - and easily accepted. 

Undyne pulled away, keeping her hands in place, and Alphys looked up at her, her own eyes filling with tears, now, too.

“You didn't know,” Undyne observed.

“I didn't know!” Alphys wailed, at the exact same time as Undyne.

Alphys threw herself forward, which admittedly wasn't that far, and Undyne caught her, just as Alphys replaced her hands with her face, again. Her claws dug into Undyne's back, and she still trembled, but she was grinning, her whole being filled with complete joy.

“This isn't real,” she suddenly said, her eyes wide and scared. “I'm dreaming, I died, I’m not--,”

Undyne slid her hand down and pinched her rear, just sharp enough for Alphys to feel without hurting her, grinning unexpectedly when she relished in the feel of how soft and delicious it felt.

Alphys jumped and yelped, then flinched, her hand going to her right side for a moment. Undyne was about to panic, but Alphys suddenly laughed, nodding, and Undyne relaxed, grinning, now, too.

Especially when Alphys snorted a few times, which made Undyne laugh, too – and Alphys pout.

For a moment, they just... played like this, playing a game they only knew the rules to, one that made both happy and neither lose.

When Alphys gasped out, “Mercy!” between breathless laughs, Undyne stopped tickling her, and instead just hugged her.

It helped them both. It was easier to get past the trauma, to forget it, when things were happy.

But Undyne’s eye soon fell on the puffer she didn't use, and then to the pill tray, and found herself decked upside the head by reality.

“Alphy, I'm sorry,” she whispered, biting her lip.

Alphys opened her eyes and stared up at her, utterly confused, now, especially after such bliss. “Wh-why?”

Silently, Undyne reached over and grabbed the puffer, and handed it to her. Alphys blinked and looked at it, then grabbed her glasses and tried again. It was still sealed.

“But...” Alphys blinked, confused. “You...?”

“Alphy, I got scared...” Undyne admitted, looking away with shame. “I was afraid the puffer had been fucked with, too. I... didn't want to risk it.”

Alphys looked at her the whole time, seeing how hard it had been for Undyne to make that decision, knowing that it could've been easier (it was indeed a far stronger version of the one she already had). But she was actually grateful for that vigilance, because if she were in Undyne’s place, she'd do the same thing.

“Thank you,” Alphys murmured. “You did the right thing.”

Undyne was stunned speechless, so surprised by this that she laid back down, her eye closed, before her hand covered both, trying not to cry, again.

More and more, Undyne found herself losing control over that, over her tears, her need to cry, instead of shrugging it away, and all because of Alphys.

Undyne felt memory overtake her, and the more she remembered, the looser her hold was, and soon, despite it all, she was crying, again, because she'd done the right thing, even when fearing it was wrong.

From the start, Alphys had always been this way, and as Undyne buried her face into Alphys’s chest, this time, carefully but still urgently, thrown back in time, despite herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *flashback noises*


	32. Chapter 32

When she'd been single, Undyne didn't cry very often, and when she did, she usually retreated behind the (her) waterfall, where she knew she could cry and not be heard or even found. They were always immense, breaking out after being stomped down for too long, but they were few and far between.

When she met Alphys, however, though she started out rather cool and unflappable, it took very little time for Undyne to start trusting her.

This was especially true after that first time, when she'd just collapsed, the second the door had swooshed open, into the arms of her best friend, and sobbed into her shoulder.

* * *

Alphys hadn't hesitated to move closer, or to even hug Undyne back. She remained quiet, her face pressed against a smooth part in Undyne's armour’s metal epaulets, as if this happened between them every day.

Undyne then felt something _more_ , more for the one holding her, and when she realised what it was – and how long she'd _denied_ it – she just cried even harder, feeling kicked while already down.

But Alphys never let go, save when Undyne soon calmed, and needed water, as well as Alphys's company, both of which Alphys provided for her, and happily so, as if it had never happened.

Undyne was unable to focus on what Alphys was showing her, even when Alphys paused to explain something. All she could feel was the way Alphys had held her, so tenderly, so easily, and it made her glad the lights were off, to hide her blush.

(Alphys had told her that the light obscured the screen, which had been a lie, but when Undyne later found out, she laughed, remembering the many times _she'd_ been the one to turn them off, and not Alphys, just as shy as her.)

At that, Undyne tried to never do this to Alphys, again, especially knowing what she did about herself, now.

When the movie finished, before Alphys could add anything, Undyne interrupted.

“Alphys,” she muttered, her heart angry at her for this. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to break down like that, and drown you in my pile of bullshit. I know you have better things to do, and I’m sorry.”

But Alphys smiled at her, and said, “Undyne, pl-please... are we—are we not friends?”

“Of _course_ we are.” But internally, she added. ‘best'; until they started dating, Papyrus had been her ‘bestest' friend, but she still felt that Alphys was just as wonderful, but in different ways.

“Well, s-so, I’m sure, you've cried with your other friends, before, right?” Alphys went on, nodding. “Because that's what friends _do.”_ She faltered for a moment, realising that it sounded more like a question, because in truth, she had no idea.

Undyne blinked, realising that she actually hadn't gone to Papyrus while like this, _ever_. She'd been angry, and had shouted at him (not about him), but not cried. She was ashamed to, because he looked up to her, and she wanted to live up to it.

But she agreed, anyway, feeling stupid, especially when she realised that no one had ever seen her cry, before – except Asgore, and now, Alphys.

And yet her instincts told her to go to Alphys, instead, when usually, she'd just use her waterfall. It never occurred to her that she had that option to go to someone else when sad, least of all Asgore or Papyrus (that would, of course, change).

Except now, she felt differently. She knew she could.

Even if she wasn't sure if she _should_.

* * *

Despite that, as their friendship progressed, Undyne found it harder and harder to keep those tears in, especially when, somehow, Alphys could tell, and asked her what was wrong. She would sob it out, and Alphys would hold her, and tell her it would be okay.

And it would be.

Not once did Alphys come to her with her own tears, and never showed any to Undyne at all, despite this, too scared to.

When Undyne thought about it, now, she realised that the first time she'd seen Alphys cry, it wasn't only after they'd already started dating.

It was the day the barrier fell.

* * *

_Where...? Where...?!_

It was Undyne's only thought for a while, her whole body filled with adrenaline and fear. She couldn't even think, let alone talk, coherently enough to ask what she was looking for, her hands throwing clothes out of her bag, hoping for something clean...

But she was terrified, anyway, realising her errors: the fact that she hadn't asked Alphys out, but had humiliated her and shoved her onto Papyrus, because she was too embarrassed to even try to accept her _own_ feelings, even while staring them in the face.

It was only when Papyrus had told her that Alphys had ditched him that she realised how badly she'd fucked up, when she'd thought she would be able to _clear_ it up, later.

“SHE LOOKED... SMALL,” Papyrus had said, his voice odd, his expression sad. “SHE ATTEMPTED TO KEEP UP, BUT NOT LONG ENOUGH FOR ME TO REALISE SHE WAS UPSET. BY THEN, SHE HAD TURNED AROUND.”

“Where did she turn around?” Undyne had demanded, as she was getting changed back into cleaner clothes. She was getting changed in front of him, but neither cared; both didn't see the other _that_ way. Plus, she was crashing here, now; where _else_ could she dress?

She dressed quickly, desperate to catch up with the human, who was likely in New Home, close to Asgore, now. She wanted to try and change their mind, to show them how great it can be, living here, Underground, before they could even meet Asgore...

“I WAS JUST ABOUT TO RUN HER BACK TO THE LAB WHEN SHE TURNED AROUND. WHEN I ASKED, SHE SAID I COULD GO AHEAD, BECAUSE SHE FELT SICK.” He paused, then added, “SHE _LOOKED_ SICK, UNDYNE.”

And at that, Undyne knew. She knew where Alphys went, and her face paled, her eye going wide.

“Fuck,” she hissed out, before she ran out of his house, barely noticing that she forgot her armour behind, or that Papyrus wanted her to wait for him...

She knew where Alphys was.

* * *

But she was wrong. The abyss was abandoned.

And she refused to even consider the possibility that Alphys had jumped, and was gone.

Undyne stood on the water tiles, panting for breath and looking around, that thought once again repeating itself in her mind.

_Where...? Where...?!_

* * *

She turned back and ran toward the Lab, not even stopping for water.

When she'd slid into the door, pounding her fist against it, she was _terrified_ , certain, now, that the thought she refused to think was reality...

“Alphys!” she shouted, her hand starting to hurt. _“Alphys! Answer me! Alphy--!!”_

The door swooshed open, and Undyne tumbled forward, almost blindly, even while she still screamed. She felt herself caught, and for a moment, something came over her, something she'd forced herself to ignore.

So when she managed to get back to her feet, she didn't go far; she kept leaning against Alphys. Only this time, when Undyne truly registered that it was Alphys who was holding her - which meant she _was_ alive - she buried her face in Alphys's shoulder, her arms around her neck. Alphys leaned back a bit, and while she didn't let go, she also didn't move.

Undyne froze, confused; she'd been expecting Alphys to understand, to start to comfort her, so that she knew she could cry and not be hurt for it. Instead, she felt like she was hugging a statue, and it did indeed hurt.

“Alphys?” she murmured, slowly moving to pull away, her whole body trembling; she was so close to breaking, and was certain it would kill her if she didn't...

When they were facing each other, and Alphys tried to look away, Undyne frowned again, leaning down and trying to follow her. Alphys shut her eyes, gritting her teeth, and suddenly, it was _Alphys_ who trembled.

But Undyne still saw her face, even when Alphys kept it averted and her eyes closed. There was no doubt that what she was seeing was real.

Alphys was crying.

She choked off each sob, the effort making her shudder, and tears ran down her cheeks, even with her eyes closed. Her hands went to her own chest, and she curled forward, trying to shrink, to hide, to do anything but _this_...

Undyne was stunned, because she'd never seen it before. And now that she had, she realised that _she'd_ caused it.

Alphys was crying because of Undyne.

“Please leave,” Alphys begged, covering her face with her hands, her tail limp on the floor. “Please leave... The human's gone... please go...”

“I’m not here for the human,” Undyne answered, tightening her hold on Alphys's shoulders. She felt her own tears vanish, because they no longer mattered to her, anymore.

Not while Alphys cried.

“Ev-everyone knows,” Alphys whispered. “I-I told everyone, let them g-go home, pub-published the notes I had on-on file, and I'll post the rest wh-when I can...”

“I don't even know what you're _talking_ about!” Undyne cried, shaking her a little.

At that, Alphys laughed bitterly. “You will,” she replied, trying to pull away, again. “Please...?”

“No. Alphys, stop. Why are you crying?” She touched Alphys's cheek, trying to lift her head, but Alphys jerked away, again trying to escape.

“Are you here to arrest me, then?” Alphys wondered. “Don't bother. I confess. Kill me, and throw me away, _again_ , for _good_.”

She jerked away from Undyne, and managed to free herself. She stumbled backwards, about to fall, but Undyne caught her before she could.

Undyne caught Alphys, this time.

Alphys stared up at her, fresh tears welling up in her eyes, and Undyne felt it, actually _felt pain,_ at the sight. Alphys opened her mouth, about to beg, again, when Undyne suddenly dropped to her knees, her arms hanging loose around her neck. Alphys stumbled, but remained standing, and - most of all - didn't let Undyne go.

Undyne _hated_ it.

She hated the sight of Alphys's tears. She hated that Alphys could look that hurt, feel that much pain. But worst of all, she loathed that _she_ was the cause of them in the first place.

Undyne dropped down lower, her hands falling into her lap, and she lowered her head, her eye closing tight.

Alphys was stunned speechless, her eyes wide and her hands still held out, her tears slowing.

“Yeah,” Undyne then rasped out, nodding a little. “No, yeah... you're right...” She swallowed hard, trying not to cry.

Alphys shook her head, not even sure what she meant, because she was so confused, now. This wasn't the same Undyne that she'd seen at the dump. This wasn't even her when depressed.

This was _worse_.

“If I make you do _that_ ,” Undyne continued, slowly filling in the blanks for Alphys, “If I make you do something so painful, so heartbreaking, as making you cry, and feel worthless...”

Undyne covered her eyes, hating herself for crying when she didn't want to. “I _never_ was good enough for you,” she concluded. “I don't deserve you. I never did. I never _will_...”

Alphys kept shaking her head, her hands lowering down to her sides, still unable to speak, despite needing to...

But she tried. “U-Un-Undyne,” she stammered, “wh-what...? Wh-why are y-you...? You were just...” She took a breath, but it didn't help. “D-don't... Please... ex-explain...?”

Undyne blinked, her ears twitching a bit when she heard Alphys speak, making sure to hear every word, even over her own choked tears.

Which was good, because Alphys finally asked her the one thing she needed to understand.

“I th-th-thought you w-were reject-re-rejecting m-me,” Alphys whispered, her voice raw with pain and confusion. “Wh-why are you acting like _I-I_ rejected _you_...?”

Undyne bit her lip and looked up, her eyes filling with fresh tears. But when Alphys saw her face, she was again surprised, because though she still cried, she was _smiling_. She stood up quickly, then threw her arms back around Alphys's neck, pressing her forehead to Alphys's. Her hands reached up and touched Alphys's wet cheeks, but her eye remained closed, even when Alphys sniffled and touched her forearms, her fingers trembling.

“Oh, _Alphy_...!” she cried, her voice breaking, and she laughed, the sound weak with relief.

Alphys swallowed a lump in her throat, before she tried to answer. “Undyne,” she squeaked out. “ _Wh-what_ \--?!”

But then, Alphys's phone chimed, and they saw the message on it, both agreed that this could wait, before running to their own doom – and salvation.


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, the chapters are getting much longer, lately. I promise; I won't go past 2500. Wasn't planning on so much story and plot and stuff, but hey, here we are. Oops. I think is is gonna be a novel. Sorry.

When Undyne was calm, Alphys hesitated, unsure of how to say something, especially after how intense everything had just been.

But as Undyne's breaths slowed down, Alphys calmed, too, and so did her body. And when her body felt safe, it demanded one thing, and an abundance of it.

Undyne, however, easily caught on because of her good hearing; she had rested her cheek against Alphys's stomach, her ear pressed against such soft, warm flesh rather happily, when she heard it, even before Alphys felt it.

And she snorted, then tried to stifle a giggle.

Alphys was about to ask, but then felt it – _and_ heard it, as it suddenly crescendoed into an intestinal interlude.

“Wow,” Undyne spluttered out between laughs, even as Alphys tried to pull away and hide, whining with shyness.

And for a while, they let such normalcy distract them, and Undyne went out to get breakfast, leaving her (planned and shared) shower for later, while Alphys rested.

The whole trip, Undyne went back to thinking about those first tears for a while, even while she ordered what she wanted. She was amazed at how much had changed in that one single day, and wondered what else could possibly happen to change it even more - and decided there was no way _that_ kind of thing would happen twice.

 _Indeed_.

On the way home, as she gazed out the window of the bus, her hood and sunglasses on to hide herself, while her mind worked so fast that she felt almost blinded by it, she realised how true that really was, for multiple meaningful days, but especially so for Alphys.

Alphys was thinking the same thing, as she remained in bed, drifting in and out of a light doze, always catching up with her thoughts each time she drifted off, and woke up, only to drift off, again.

One syringe had changed _everything_ , for _everyone_. A lot of people could argue that _that_ first shot should have been the one: Flowey's. 

Flowey was the one who'd tried to manipulate Frisk into end the world.

But _that_ shot never would've happened, if Alphys's own hadn't succeeded. If she'd failed, she would have stopped there, and searched for something else.

Whenever Alphys drifted off, she would imagine what her soul looked like, especially now, after so much damage to it. She'd never tried, had been too ashamed to do any further testing, and had no idea what it looked like - or what to even look _for_. No one knew, even Undyne; they had yet to touch souls.

The closest they had been was when Alphys's hands were over Undyne's heart, and it had been an accident. It had also been far too brief for Undyne to see, herself, what Alphys's soul looked like.

And even the doctors, who'd had to work around her soul, to get rid of what it could not heal, itself, no one mentioned any anomaly, like she'd expected – except her accelerated healing.

Her eyes snapped open, then, finally remembering that one plan that had both given her hope – and scared the breath out of her.

Which then led her to her phone, suddenly morbidly curious about how the media had handled what had happened to her; she'd avoided as much as possible in the hospital, knowing next to nothing. She knew it would have harmed her recovery, and was right.

Because the stuff she was seeing now hurt her _very_ deeply, indeed.

The consensus was almost unanimous across the board: despite what her “victims” actually said, Alphys had committed a vile crime, and many wanted Asgore to judge and sentence her for it.

Or he could kill her. (She already knew his answers to both: no. She'd asked him, and had also asked to be sentenced, but he still said no.)

Or have _Undyne_ kill her. _(Because_ that _would_  definitely  _happen_ , Alphys thought sarcastically.)

One idea made her pause, though: have the survivors of the lost souls decide her fate. 

To discover that there were people who remembered losing family around the mountain _(Dormant volcano,_ Alphys would always correct silently, whenever she heard it), and who still wanted answers – and then consequences for those answers – made Alphys hesitate, her finger over the “reply” button, to tell them she wouldn't stop them if they tried--

Luckily, that was also when Undyne came home, calling for her the second the door opened, sounding truly excited to be back home – because she was, and always would be.

Hearing that was like a slap to Alphys, who jumped and tossed the phone aside, sitting up eagerly to get to her feet and run into Undyne's arms...

But Undyne had anticipated this, and was already walking in when Alphys was trying to reach for her cane. She stopped when that happened, blushing, but Undyne smiled, nudged the cane closer to her reach, and then kissed her forehead, smelling like the outside: cold fresh air with the teasing of snow. She felt nice to hold, her body also a bit cold, but warming up the longer Alphys held her.

Undyne set the paper bag of food and a carry-out tray of drinks aside, before she hugged back, her eye close, biting down on her lip to keep herself calm, only now realising that she _hadn't_ been. She'd expected to come home to something bad, that Alphys couldn't of controlled, but was still bad...

But she was safe. She held onto Undyne a little heavily, and she did lean with her left side first, but she was safe – and still naked, always eyecandy for Undyne to enjoy. 

Undyne pulled away, smiling and cupping Alphys's face within her hands. Alphys beamed up at her, her tail a blur, still slightly dopey, but also rather lovestruck.

“Mm...” Alphys murmured, closing her eyes and nuzzling into Undyne's palms, her hands going to her forearms, to keep those hands in place. Undyne kissed her nose, and Alphys looked up.

“Hi,” she murmured, her smile slightly crooked.

Undyne grinned back. “Hey, cutie. You hungry?”

“Yes,” Alphys agreed, looking happy about it.

“Good.” Undyne pulled back and gently nudged Alphys back, so that she would sit back down against her pillows and keep herself as still as possible. But when she saw where the food came from, she tried to sit back up onto her knees, again, to grab it.

“Stop,” Undyne chided, grabbing it, herself, before sitting down beside her. Alphys blushed and sat back up, but smiled.

Undyne eyed her closely, seeing that her smile was real, but her actions were nervous. She looked away, staying quiet for now and hoping she was wrong, and started to hand out the food.

There was a lot, and Alphys's eyes lit up, her tail wagging so hard that her pillows were swept to the floor. Undyne laughed, especially when Alphys grabbed the first thing that was set out.

“Nope,” Undyne said, grabbing it back. Alphys tried to grab it back, starving for real food, no matter what it was, but Undyne held it out of reach. “Alphy, dude, _nope_.”

“Why?” Alphys whined a little.

“You wanna add explosive GI symptoms alongside those gunshots, dear love?” Undyne replied, her tone arch and her eyebrows up, still holding it away.

Alphys pouted, her hands dropping to her duvet-covered lap. “Dammit,” she sighed.

“Normally I’d let you, but not this time,” Undyne admitted, reaching in for more food. “I'm actually serious: that _would_ hurt you more, wouldn't it?”

Alphys chewed on the dead skin of her bottom lip for a moment. “Probably,” she agreed sadly. “Fuckdammit. I really love cheese...”

“I know, but there were no lactose-free options, babe,” Undyne agreed, placing two paper-covered foods in Alphys’s lap. “Here's me trying to make up for it.”

Alphys grabbed the first one she got, her claws tearing at it, and found something that confused her: it was a bagel, with a meatless protein patty (usually fried with maple syrup), but there was more to it. There were also tomatoes, and a very delicious kind of sauce, and neither usually came with this sandwich.

The other was a “sausage” (soy) patty wrap, with scrambled eggs and... mayonnaise and lettuce.

“Undyne!” she cried, her eyes going to Undyne's finding it already on her. “You... _special ordered!_ But you _hate_ that!!”

Undyne blushed, looking away. It was true; she hated making a fuss about food, and hated wasting it, most, so if she bought something, and found something she disliked, she ate it anyway (which explained why she was rather healthy, nutrition-wise). She didn't even know special orders were even a _thing_ , until Alphys spoke up at a restaurant and asked for dairy-free options for all of her order. When the waiter not only agreed, but told her the options – none of which were on the menu – Undyne was amazed.

But Undyne learnt that she had to remember to do it for Alphys, because lactose really was murder on her. The first week following the barrier break was spent eating surface food, both for convenience and curiosity, and Alphys had discovered, through a great deal of embarrassing trial and error, that she was lactose-intolerant, something neither even knew _existed_. When they learnt about milk and dairy on the surface, both were dumbfounded – because it made _no sense_.

Why drink milk from another animal?! No wonder it hurt her!

Except... Undyne often wussed out, ordering things and then eating the stuff Alphys couldn't, instead. It had been a year, and Undyne still was too intimidated by it, feeling like a picky, spoilt snob.

Undyne, the Captain of the Royal Guard, who feared no one, shrank away from being specific about alternate food options.

This was _very_ special, indeed.

“S'fine,” Undyne mumbled shyly, her ears burning, now, too, from both the act itself and the praise it brought her.

Alphys set her food aside and moved closer to her, before hugging her sideways, her face in Undyne's upper arm.

“Thank you,” Alphys whispered. “You've been _incredible_ , Undyne. You know that, don't you? That through all of this, you've been my pillar...?”

Undyne swallowed hard, again amazed at herself for crying so easily – despite knowing she would for no else but Alphys. But it was difficult to hold back, because in truth; while she knew that Alphys had been grateful to her, she wasn't sure _why_ , or if what she did warranted such gratitude.

But Alphys was saying it to her, right now, and she had to accept it, wanting to be able to from the start, but too unsure.

Especially when she'd been drugged.

“Because you _are_ ,” Alphys went on. “You are and have been my pillar, my one thing in this world I know I can _always_ count on. I've never known it so keenly until now. And now, I’ll _always_ know.”

“Alphy...” Undyne protested, her hand going over her eyes, just as they filled.

“I need you to know, too,” Alphys insisted. “I need you to know that I can and will be the very same for you, as best as I can. I-I doubt I'll be as good, but...”

Undyne snorted, then lowered her hand, looking at Alphys with a sly grin. “You're a fucking doctor, Alphy!”

Alphys blushed this time. “Well, sometimes I forget, okay? I know I’m selfish!”

“Wow,” Undyne sighed. “ _That's_ idiocy.”

Alphys rolled her eyes, but kissed Undyne's cheek. “You know, though, now, right?” she asked again, her voice soft.

Undyne nodded, her eye going between Alphys's. “I know,” she agreed, a half-truth at worst. “And I’m glad.”

“M-me too.” Alphys lowered her head and pulled back, turning to her food quickly and starting to eat, making sure she was unable to speak the entire time.

She couldn't yet. She wanted to, but could not. It went beyond everything they'd already been through, and knew it would hurt Undyne – possibly traumatise her. But she also knew that she could not do it alone, and needed her pillar with her, the only one she would _ever_ trust with such a thing.

She said nothing, but Undyne started to catch onto... _something_. Alphys was clearly censoring herself, again, and about something important or urgent.

When her eye fell on Alphys's phone, and saw what it said, she realised that it must have something to do with the Amalgamates.

 _Later_ , she decided with Alphys, starting to eat, herself.

Now, she pulled her tablet over and set it up, and they watched nonsense while they ate, both refusing to look at news channels, still wanting some distance from it, until both were ready to tackle it all.

 _Later_...


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why is this story so long, and why do I keep going into more and more detail and flashbacks before doing the thing...? Ugh. Sorry.
> 
> Slight trigger warning for talking about self-harm.

Alphys was quiet, and Undyne kept looking at her, making sure she didn't miss anything in her fiancée’s face that meant she was upset.

Alphys, for the first time, didn't realise it, usually rather sharp when it came to eye(s) on her. She was so wound up within her own ideas and plans that she barely even noticed what they watched – though she did enjoy the food rather much.

She couldn't help it. There was still so much to say to Undyne: to explain, to actually open up and allow someone else to _help_ her with what she'd been hiding for so long; to try and respond to the accusations against her; to see if she could work with Frisk, to find some way of publicly addressing it...

Especially considering the day's date...

There was even more than that. But it kept repeating, over and over, and soon, she realised she hadn't noticed, for a full minute, that the tablet's screen had gone out, and was blank.

Alphys looked up, and Undyne was frowning at her, her own food finished, while she sipped her drink through its straw, her eye narrowed.

Alphys sighed, finished the last few bites of food (she'd eaten it all and was not sorry for it), and shifted a little, so that she could face Undyne, better. She was still using the duvet to keep her warm, holding up over herself but with her arms out, leaving her shoulders and head uncovered, too.

She crossed her legs and started to lean forward – but yelped, and moved her legs back out, leaning back against the pillows, again.

Undyne had grabbed her upper arm and stopped her from slamming her head into the headboard, her other hand going to the back of her head to cushion it, and just managed it in time.

Undyne was holding her close and within her arms, when she finally managed to calm down, her pain easing bit-by-bit.

 _“Oh,”_ Alphys whimpered, hurt and frustrated tears filling her eyes, her hands buried into the duvet and holding it tightly against her.

It was so unfair; she had so much she knew she needed to do, and knew sooner was better, but when she'd finally found a possible solution to everything, she fell back down - literally, _and_ figuratively.

“It's okay, Alphy, remember?” Undyne murmured, holding her close and keeping her cheek pressed against Alphys's head, kissing it every so often. “The doc said it would take at least a week of strict bed-rest before you can walk around so much, least of all without help, and even _with_ those meds.”

Alphys knew, but hated it. She felt anxious, like there was a time-limit, and it felt so overwhelming that she felt weighed down, as if she were being anchored, and she couldn't get back up before she drowned.

Undyne felt that, too. “I know,” she admitted, and Alphys listened, her arms going around Undyne's waist, soothing them both. “I know you're restless, and I am, too, but _you gotta listen to them_ , okay?”

Alphys swallowed hard, hearing her, and also hearing, within Undyne's words, an opening, and if she didn't use it, the door would close and lock for who knows how long...

“Undyne,” she broke in, before Undyne could add more. “I need to tell you something, and it's really important.”

Undyne went rigid, but also pulled Alphys a bit closer, nodding. She knew that Alphys was pissed off, and wanted to respond to the hatred that almost murdered her thrice (and that was indeed part of it), but knew that, if they stayed home as much as possible, they could safely wait until she was healed, before taking any risks.

Undyne had no fear going out, as while she was also hated (simply for loving Alphys), but also knew how terrified humans were of her.

But she was terrified _for_ Alphys, and wanted to keep her safe inside their home, until there was no questioning her safety.

Especially today, she thought darkly, her eye closing briefly.

“It's... about DT, and th-the... Amalgamates.”

Undyne again nodded, now certain she was right.

“Okay,” she added, when Alphys didn't answer for a while.

She was struggling to word it properly. “Wh-when I injected it into myself, it w-was with a spliced dose, remember? One made with the six souls' DT?" 

When Undyne nodded once more, Alphys went on.

"I wanted to make a _new_ soul, or a soul-surrogate, but failed, right? But I didn't want to waste it, and I knew I needed to test it before using it on anyone else, so I did, and... it did... something _weird_ to me."

She took a breath. "I now know _why_ it worked for me, and not for _them_. And I think I can use that, and try to reverse it, but that's where I need your help, and-and Frisk's, to find out about donations of...”

Undyne had gently reached down and covered her mouth, but lightly, so that she wasn't muffled, but went quiet on her own.

“Too fast,” Undyne admitted, lowering her hand. “I tried, and you did, too, but you lost me at ‘reverse it'. Why are you confident, now? What changed between now and then?”

“Me,” Alphys blurted out. “Because whenever I get hurt, even fatally, I survive. I survived minutes without breathing, surgery, bullets stuck in me, being strangled and passing out... All of it _sucked_ , but I never _died_.”

Undyne opened her mouth, about to ask her to start over, until she paused, and hesitated. She played the words back, and realised that Alphys was absolutely right. She'd survived what no monster ever had to endure, before, but it was _more_ than that.

Each injury – except, for obvious reasons, the letter – would've been fatal to any other monster, save a few that Undyne could count on one hand.

Alphys was not on that list.

 _Until now_.

“And the strange thing is,” Alphys went on; Undyne was mystified by the idea of there being anything stranger than _this_ , “that even though it should be depleted by now, used up to heal my injuries, it's _not_.”

She paused, closing her eyes. “I still _hurt_ , but I can still... _tell_ , somehow, that it's - the DT - still _there_. And I remember what it felt like without it, and that's _not_ how I feel, now.”

Undyne was still quiet.

Alphys took another breath – and finally blurted it out. “I feel _stronger_  at times, Undyne, when the pain is quiet and my mind is calm. And I feel even stronger, now, when I shouldn't be; I’m healing _so fast_."

She paused, her face bewildered. "But no one saw _anything_ weird in my scans, so I _don't_ know what my soul looks like; only scans of what it looked like, before, and from years before, and I need to see it, myself, before I even _start_...”

Undyne was silent, still, but Alphys could feel it: Undyne was shaking, and she knew _she_ was the reason why.

But Alphys only knew _half_ of it.

Undyne was silent, because she _recognised_ that feeling, and had never heard it described, before.

But Undyne soon realised _when_ it was that _that_ feeling began, and was shocked.

_Right after I woke up, with a hole in my face, after Dad had..._

“Th-there's a chance that it's... _strengthening_ , somehow, with every injury," Alphys said, interrupting Undyne's thoughts. "Almost like it absorbs injuries, as if hurting yourself would _feed_ it...”

Alphys then shut up, too, because when she said that, she also realised something.

 _Like when I cut myself,_ she finished silently, one hand going over on of her arms behind Undyne's back, and feeling the scars _._

_I remember; I broke down, after meeting Undyne the way I had..._

_After, it felt almost_ good _, and the scars faded so quickly, too..._

At the same time, they said, “There's _more_.”

But Alphys was stating it, and Undyne was asking it.

“Yes,” Alphys agreed.

Undyne bit her lip, cutting herself off before she blurted out what she needed to say to this. For all she knew, Alphys was about to say what _she_ was about to.

“The Amalgamates _were_ dying, Undyne,” Alphys murmured, “but _I_ wasn't. I took that injection to see what it could do, as a control, before I even _touched_ them. When I felt like shit at first, I was scared. But as I recovered, I kept getting better and better, so I..."

“You wanted that for them,” Undyne whispered, her eye closed, now. “So that the pain would be worth the reward.”

Alphys nodded. “Right. But when none woke up after a few days, I kept injecting them, thinking it would help, to heal them, and-and when they _did_ wake up, I… I was _so_ _sure_ , but...”

Undyne was quiet, because in truth, she had no idea why they'd fallen apart – and glued back together, again.

“But those ended up temporary, even when _my_ shot was permanent,” Alphys went on, her voice going softer and softer with each word. “I was... I was fucking with _lives_ , Undyne... I refused to admit how far gone they all were, when they came to the Lab. Because...”

She sniffled. “I wanted to do something _good_ , for once, but...”

Undyne tried to correct that, but Alphys cut her off.

“They were too far gone, Undyne,” Alphys said weakly, her hands falling from Undyne's back and remaining limp at her sides. “By constantly injecting them, I _was_ giving them back a temporary life, but for a life that was... barely there, from the start. There was no amount I could have ever given them that would've helped them live on their own, to reverse the dying process...”

Undyne understood, now, and finished for her. “You were reanimating _corpses_ with life. They used up each shot you gave them, and it worked, until _those_  got used up, too, and...”

“They melted,” Alphys agreed. “Their bodies were living, but their souls were barely flickering. So they looked for stronger life in others, and clung to them, and...”

 _“Fuck,”_ Undyne whispered. “They clung to _each_ _other_ , amalgamated enough temporary life with others, just enough to keep them alive, but as they are right now...?"

Alphys nodded. “I tried again, with a few that were more lucid than others, but it didn't separate them. And... I think... I finally know _why_...”

Undyne waited for her to go on, but she fell quiet.

“Alphy?” She leaned down and kissed her pale cheek, and Alphys sighed.

“Me,” Alphys admitted, again. “For both: how I treated them, and how I treated myself. And, _finally_ , why one worked when the other failed. I can only think of two reasons.”

Undyne nodded, kissing her other cheek, and felt a bit more warmth, that time.

Alphys raised her hand, holding up two fingers. “One: I was healthy, and while it did hurt me, it also kept me safe, and unsullied, as best as it could, while making itself comfortable within my blood. I was never _dying_ , so I didn't melt. But... it's not _just_ that...”

She lowered one finger, and held up her index. “Two: I used different DT strains on them. I never gave them a shot like my own, but random shots, with random colours, and never one with all six."

“So your idea is to give them shots like yours?” Undyne wondered.

“Yes. But that's the problem, Undyne. I don't have access to six human souls, and least of all, one of each of the colours I used. I'm afraid that's the most important - _and_ difficult - part...”

Alphys felt so heavy, now, under the weight of so much she had to do, and so few hours in a day to do them...

But then, Undyne's eye flared, and she grabbed Alphys by the shoulders, looking into her eyes. Alphys looked _miserable_ , disgusted by her actions, both then and now, but that wasn't why Undyne paused.

 _“Seven_ souls!” she cried. "Yours, too! _That's_  why it's helping you, right? It's always gotta be seven, doesn't it?"

Alphys smiled weakly; she knew Undyne would get it. 

“Right, kinda, except that mine was still a monster soul..."

"Was?" Undyne echoed.

Alphys sighed. "I need to look at it, first, before I confirm that theory, but... I'm pretty sure _that's_ why it hurt me: my soul was mutated by the DT, in order to be suitable enough to carry six strains of it."

Undyne swallowed hard. "Do...? Do you think your soul is... human-like, now?"

Alphys paused, but shook her head. "No. Maybe. Whatever. But forget me; for _them_ , I still need at _least_ six, and in even doses, not like before. If I'd done the same for them, I know it would've worked better.”

Her eyes glinted, the first time since she got shot. “All but red. I never used or had red.”

“Donations,” Undyne remembered. “Soul donations?”

Alphys's eyes darkened. “Yes, but I don't think such a thing exists, least of all _this_ soon, with our two peoples only together, again, for a year...” She trailed off, right where her thoughts usually started over, again.

 _A year. A year to the day, now,_ she thought glumly.

Undyne frowned with thought, letting go of Alphys's shoulders, but once she saw Alphys's dejected expression and body-language, leaned back, instead, and held Alphys in her arms. To her delight, Alphys slid down a bit, before she carefully managed to curl up into Undyne's lap as best as she could.

Undyne grinned and adjusted a little, and Alphys remained, halfway draped across her crossed legs, the rest of her buried beneath the duvet and curled around Undyne's knee.

As this was going on, both were thinking hard, a small silence falling as they did.

But it was Undyne who thought of it, and slapped her hand to her forehead, groaning.

Alphys raised her head, confused, but Undyne was also grinning, as if she were the butt of a joke, but still found it hilarious.

“Alphy,” she tried, coughing as she calmed, especially when Alphys looked annoyed _. “I_ know how to fix this. But I need to explain something, first..."

Alphys listened – and Undyne finally confessed why – and _how_ – she _needed_ to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *halfhearted flashback noises, ehhhhh*


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look, headcanons.

It happened over a decade ago.

Gaster and Alphys's mother were months from their deaths, making up blueprints for a machine they'd already built, and had made a huge breakthrough.

Undyne and Alphys were still teenagers, and strangers to each other, their paths were still far apart from each other.

It was also an accident.

Undyne knew it, even if Asgore refused to, but she admitted that, at first, she'd felt helpless and scared, terrified that her entire life was over, that she was broken, now, and could never work, again.

Before she'd passed out from shock, she remembered what she'd said to Asgore when she fell.

“Stop fucking _crying_ , Dad! I know it was an accident!”

But when the pain hit her, and she fell, she also wailed out, “My fucking life is _over! It's over!_ Why...? _Why?!”_

After that, she remembered crying so hard she felt like her lungs would explode, followed by darkness, then...

…nightmares.

The following was what Undyne missed, and had been told – _mostly_ – about, later.

* * *

 Asgore had carried her to the closest doctor – his own – and brought her into the Palace. Asgore and the doctor talked about what Undyne had said, and the doctor offered Asgore an experimental medicine, one he'd been testing for a while and found good results.

Asgore was heartbroken, terrified of Undyne dying – or worse, living like she was already dead. He'd seen that before, and knew how it looked and sounded.

When she'd screamed _why_ , he'd heard it.

It made him nervous, and never intended to hurt Undyne. Now, he already had, accidentally or not. There was a chance it would fail, or hurt her even more, or backfired and killed her.

But Asgore knew Undyne well, by now. He knew that, for her, by losing her eye, she'd lost her ability to be a Guard, as all Guards had to be as physically fit as possible.

Now, however, Undyne was disabled, and from now on, life would revolve around that disability.

He couldn't give her her eye back. But he could at least give her something to accelerate her healing, and, once alone and as instructed, he took Undyne's hand, slid the needle of the syringe – weird, green coloured stuff, like coloured sand, or liquid smoke – into one of her IV port's tubes, and slowly pushed the plunger down, his eyes on Undyne's face the entire time.

Undyne had been still, before then, her whole body limp and the side of her face bandaged up; while it had been a magical attack - Asgore's - it was still too severe to use only magic to heal her. There had been no saving her eye, and magic couldn't fix that.

Her mind had been quiet, so quiet that she only remembered the bad stuff, not that calm before the storm.

But when Asgore finished and pulled the syringe out and aside, Undyne was already twitching, her muscles spasming throughout her entire body.

Asgore shifted closer, taking hold of her hand, again, and called for her, thinking that she was waking up.

She wasn't; her mind was now invaded by her darkest thoughts, the thoughts everyone refuses to admit they have, but of course do, and they mutated into images, sounds, so vivid and real that she was certain she'd died, and was denied rebirth.

Asgore knew none of this, terrified, instead, that she was about to have a seizure, and quickly ran to the doorway to call his doctor back. When he returned, they walked back over, and the doctor stopped when he saw Undyne.

“Asgore,” he signed, his eyes on Undyne. “You gave it _all_ to her, right?”

“Yes--,”

It was then that Undyne jerked, before, like Asgore feared, she began to seize up, her breaths too fast, her face too red and pained, her body too poisoned...

“Wing--,” Asgore tried, but he was already on it, going over to Undyne's other side and grabbing her upper arms, rolling her onto her side quickly – just as the seizure peaked, and she groaned, a long, agonised sound that ended when she choked on it. 

All Undyne knew were those hellscapes, drifting through them with terror and trying to find a way out...

But Gaster was Asgore's friend as well as doctor, and Asgore trusted him, something he wasn't sure of until he saw how fast Gaster worked to stabilise Undyne.

By the time her body had started to calm, Gaster had kept her on her side, holding her there gently, and had also slipped an oxygen mask over her mouth, a bit awkward with only one ear, but he managed.

Undyne went limp, then, twitching a little, still. She was panting, tears running down one cheek, her eye shut tight and her face pale.

Asgore swallowed hard, unaware that he'd held his breath until now, and when he saw her face.

Gaster moved quickly, still, unable to speak while his hands were busy, but Asgore watched him, and saw him pull out two small plastic bags and a long, plastic tube. He hooked the two bags (sedatives) up beside the saline already there, and unhooked the saline to plug those two in, instead.

For a few minutes, Undyne was still unable to calm her body, completely often murmuring in her sleep, but it was all nonsense to Asgore. (She'd tried to say, _“Don't. Please don't. I don't care if I die, but leave her alone…_!")

But soon, her body completely relaxed, and she went still, her eyelid flickering with dreams but never opening. She went silent, and her tears slowed, then stopped. 

Gaster sighed and stepped back, then got Asgore’s attention.

“Watch her,” he advised, looking worried, now. “If she starts to twitch again, or stops breathing, _anything,_ but how she is now, Asgore... tell me. I don't care if you're not sure, even. Just tell me.”

“Is...? Is this... normal?” Asgore wondered.

Gaster hesitated, looking very uncomfortable, now. Asgore sat up, about to repeat it, but weakly, Gaster said, “I don't know.”

That had caused a huge argument, as Asgore didn't know that Undyne was the first. He'd thought Gaster was smarter than that, and wouldn't try something like without testing it.

Gaster argued that this was the test, the control, of that major breakthrough, and one that would help himself, but as well as everyone in the Underground, if it worked. Gaster was positive that it would likely be able to regenerate her eye, which was worth the risk.

Asgore did not agree with that, and wished he'd never done it. By then, he was _furious_ , and told Gaster to leave.

He did, but not without adding, “Keep me posted, Asgore. I mean it.”

Asgore would, but only for Undyne. He no longer cared if it helped Gaster or not; he only wanted to help _her_.

* * *

 Undyne was trapped for three days, not once waking up, despite the severity of her nightmares. It was that severity that trapped her there, and she began to accept it as real.

But the night of the third day, those images... suddenly _vanished_.

They stopped, and her mind was still confused when they did.

Her body was not, and was waking up, and by the time her mind caught up, she felt thirsty and weird. She was already - or still - tired, and felt that her face streaked with old tears.

She opened her eye slowly, feeling it crusted over and gummy, but easy enough to clean out with a balled fist. She saw only blurs at first, but the harder she blinked, the clearer the images became.

Dim lights. White walls. The smell of rubbing alcohol and what could only be herself, her body unwashed for days.

She wondered if she'd been fitted with a bedpan or catheter, because she saw no evidence of _that_ kind of cleaning, at all.

“Where...?” she started, unable to see from the left, and thus unable to see that she was alone. “H-hello...?” When there was no answer, she laid there for a moment, trying to piece it together.

By the time Asgore had come back, she had a hand held over her mouth, her other going to the bandages, and she whimpered, something she hadn't done in many, many years.

She couldn't help it; she remembered, now.

Asgore walked in, and the sounds startled her. She turned her head, trying to see, but only could once she'd angled herself the right way. He rushed over, suddenly looking hopeful and enthusiastic, but when he saw her face, it all vanished, and he sat down.

He waited. He knew what was coming.

Except that he didn't.

Undyne was indeed crying for her loss. But she was also crying because, despite that, she felt rather... _good_. She wondered if she'd been on pain medication (she had) and if she would need more (very soon).

She didn’t feel dopey; she felt wide awake.

“Undyne,” Asgore then said, keeping his voice calm. “Welcome back, dear.”

Undyne bit her lip, closing her eye for a moment, before she blurted out, “What's _happened_ to me?!”

Asgore told her, including what she'd been given, and why.

Undyne listened, her eye sharp and darting between his as he spoke, her face a little pale but no less attentive.

When he'd finished, Undyne nodded, before reaching up and starting to unravel the bandages. Asgore tried to stop her, certain it would worsen her pains, but to his shock, once they were all gone, he froze.

Half of her hair was shaved off, red fuzz hidden beneath gauze, and when Undyne felt it, she sighed, wondering if she should shave it all of and start over.

But her eyesocket, the one Asgore had expected to still be a mess of blood and pus, looked strangely clean; she didn't grow it back, but it had healed most of the damage done by Asgore's trident.

It looked months old, maybe years, and it looked perfectly fine - save the missing eye.

Undyne saw his surprise, and she touched it, making him try to stop her, again. But all she touched was skin, some of it smooth, some of it lumpy with scarring, and lacking only its eye.

Undyne kept her hand there for a moment, forcing her to accept her new reality. 

 _“Undyne,”_ Asgore breathed out, when she looked back up at him in silence, her hand dropping to her lap. “It healed so _quickly_...”

“Dad,” Undyne said, then, her voice odd. “What _else_ did you do to me?”

“Why do you ask? How could there possibly be more for me to do?”

Undyne reached up again, rubbing her fingertips over the soft peachfuzz that was now half of her hair. She didn't stop for a while, trying to word it, and he waited, knowing he needed to hear and remember as much as possible, to tell Gaster, later.

“I feel strong,” she answered, her eye moving away and going unfocused. “Stronger than ever. Stronger than I’ve _ever_ _been_. But...” She waved her hand at her eyesocket. “I'm still blind...”

“Stronger, how?” Asgore wondered. Gaster had mentioned healing – which had clearly worked – but not increased strength.

Undyne had no words for it. Instead, she concentrated, barely, raised one hand – and from its palm, gold light gushed out, shaping into several spears, ones that circled around her target (the rubbish basket) before striking into - then through - it.

It exploded after two, and Asgore was startled, his eyes fixed on that basket. She didn't even need to add to that; it was clear enough.

But their eyes met, again, and Undyne's wavered, before she turned away, covering her face with the rest of her hair.

“Asgore, I quit.”

The words were tiny, clearly not what she really wanted, but knew she had no other choice. She was severely compromised, and would need to start all of her training over, and it was... too much. Too daunting. She knew her _body_ could handle it, especially now, but what use was that if she could barely see?

“I refuse,” Asgore said suddenly.

She turned back to him, and he narrowed his eyes, looking upset – something very rare. “I quit,” she repeated.

“I _absolutely_ refuse,” he replied.

“You can't refuse a quit!” Undyne cried. She already felt so broke and scared, as her body's new wild vitality confused her.

“I'm your King, and you will do as I say.”

Undyne snorted. “Fuck you, old man,” she answered, lying down and turning away from him, wishing she could hide her eyesocket with her hair.

“Undyne,” Asgore answered, his voice cold, now.

She felt a wave of dread, worried she'd now gone too far.

“You are still a Guard. You are learning how to defeat me.”

“Not anymore,” she muttered.

“Yes you are,” he growled, making her ears twitch. “Because if you figure out how to knock me down with just one eye, you will never lose, again.”

Undyne was still, then, and quiet.

It was true; it would be more than twice as hard to win against him like this. But he was also the strongest monster in the world.

And that new, wild part of her – or perhaps a part that had remained dormant until now – perked up at the idea of such a challenge, her most difficult, yet.

“Okay,” she muttered. “I'll try.”

Asgore hugged her, and she clung to him, both crying, now.

* * *

 Undyne did try, and failed a lot.

She did have to start over a bit, and while she did lose her temper at times, she always came back.

And when she floored Asgore, at last, he laughed so hard that he cried, and did both, still lying in the flowers he'd landed on.

And after a bout of guilt, Undyne realised that she was proud of herself, too.

She had one eye, and would forever be partially blind. Life would be harder, and would remain so til it ended.

But she accepted it, embraced it, and made it her own, and proved everyone - herself included - wrong.


End file.
